Category: Mocking Furriners

Long Weekend

Freaks & Loonies, Mocking Furriners

As we Murkins head into the last long weekend of the summer, I thought it would be appropriate to see how others do long weekends — or specifically, how they do a “Bank Holiday” weekend in Britishland.

Last weekend, in fact, was the hottest such on record in the U.K., so of course the pasty-skinned Brits headed for the beach to get properly burned:

 

Okay,there were some  sorta-worthwhile sights along the way:

 

 

But if stuck in London, there was always the annual Notting Hill Carnival:

 

 

And for the sake of balance, just to prove that I can be inclusive:

Or, if it was too hot in daytime, one could always wait until night time and hit the pubs:

 

 

If I didn’t know better, I’d say this lot were having a pee through the windows:

 

You have to admire their stupidity bravery in balancing precariously (and, one assumes, drunkenly) over those anti-pigeon spikes, though.

But none of that is exclusive to Britishland, really — you could do all that anywhere in the world.  To make the thing British, you’d have to participate in the World Bog Snorkelling Championships, wherein one has to swim through a malodorous boggy trench — and this is what makes it truly  British — in fancy-dress costume:

 

 

Given the choices at the top of this page, I think I’d rather do the Bog thing, dressed as a Viking.

Still, in the same spirit:  enjoy the Labor Day Weekend, folks!

Enter Boris

Good Stuff, Mocking Furriners, Politics

I’ve always liked Boris Johnson — yeah, maybe it’s the Old Boy thing (Eton College was the “brother” school to St. John’s) — but what I like most of all is the predictable way the U.K. Left has responded to his accession to Number 10 Downing Street:

 

Just note that underneath Johnson’s jovial, stammering, Hooray-Henry exterior, there’s some serious intellect going on.  (See here where he talks about Winston Churchill’s oratory.)  In other words, he’s the complete opposite of ex-U.S. President (Half-)Black Jesus, underneath whose smooth and urbane exterior… not much was going on.

And if PM Boris can’t get Britishland out of the horrible European Union, the Brits deserve to get everything that happens to them.

Go Boris!

 

Pale Shadow

Mocking Furriners

It appears that while once-Great Britain has been solving problems like plastic drinking straws and imposing taxes on milkshakes (!), their navy has been allowed to deteriorate into a motley collection of rowing boats, dinghies and canoes:

The Royal Navy has only ordered one aircraft carrier, a handful of offshore patrol vessels, five submarines, and a single new frigate for the next decade as a report says its force will get even smaller.
It comes as serious questions have been raised over Britain’s ability to defend itself following Iran seizing the UK-flagged tanker Stena Impero in the Strait of Hormuz.

In essence, the once-proud Royal Navy has allowed a British-flagged ship to be hijacked by a bunch of ragheads in a speedboat.

Of course, Uncle Sam will probably come to Britain’s aid again in protecting the sea lanes (see:  WWI and WWII), but let’s hope that this altruism will not get in the way of the British government’s clown show (see: Brexit).

Feckless idiots.

Cutting Humor

Funny Stuff, Mocking Furriners

Ol’ Diogenes has a little fun at the expense of the Brits:

Here in America we worry about democrats trying to take away our 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms. Over in England, Royal subjects are not allowed to have guns so Brits run around stabbing each other, which prompted the government to take away knife ownership rights. Naturally British thugs have to move on to carrying something else lethal.

Or, as we put it:

That’s a badass-lookin’ Bowie, by the way, although I prefer my Fox (with 1911 to give the proper proportion of the thing):

One wonders what the Regents Park Plod would make of that?  (Oh, and I have no rusty spoons in my possession, so I’d be okay — see link for explanation.)

Well, Duh

Mocking Furriners

Seems like the Frogs have something called “social envy”, as discussed here.

A leader of the Yellow Vest movement, Ingrid Levavasseur, criticised “the inertia of big corporations over social misery while they are showing themselves capable of mobilising a crazy amount of cash overnight for Notre Dame”.
Philippe Martinez, head of France’s largest trade union, CGT, said: “Now understand that there are billionaires who have huge amounts of money and in one click put 200m, 100m on the table. It shows the inequalities in this country, which we regularly demonstrate against.”
Such criticism has been widespread. On French breakfast television last week, a guest insulted the Notre Dame donors as “rich bastards”, and even the moderate newspaper Le Monde wrote that “too much is too much”.

Even  Le Monde?  The irony is strong with this one, as that rag is typically to the left of Hillary Clinton.

No, what surprised me was this little snippet:

The international Ipsos Mori survey, in which dozens of questions were submitted to respondents, showed that the French have a particularly critical attitude towards rich people. Based on its findings, a Social Envy Coefficient was calculated, making it possible to measure how strong social envy against rich people is in a country.
According to this coefficient, social envy is highest in France with a score of 1.26, followed by Germany with 0.97. It is significantly lower in the US (0.42) and the UK (0.37).

I don’t know where they conducted the U.S. part of the survey — I’m suspecting the East- and West Coast major cities — but I am amazed to learn (by this survey’s metrics) that we Murkins are more socially envious than the Brits.  We aren’t.  There is no expression over here that is in any way similar to the withering “fucking toffs”, for example, and our initial impression on seeing someone driving a Ferrari is “I want one of those”, and not “I want his“.

We may hate our self-professed social elites, but we sure as hell don’t envy them, or their wealth.  Our loathing is directed more at their paternalistic bossiness.

But that’s not to say that we are aren’t occasionally tempted to borrow an old custom from the Frogs and apply it to scum like, say, the entire Humanities Department at Harvard or the editorial committee of The New York Times...

Turning Round And Biting

Military, Mocking Furriners

It appears that the BritGov has a perennial shortage of men wanting to join their army.  This led them, amid much merriment, to launch an ad campaign appealing to the Snowflake Generation — and apparently, to pretty much everyone’s surprise, it worked:

The controversial Army recruitment campaign aimed at ‘snowflakes’ led to an unprecedented wave of youngsters signing up, figures reveal.
Posters released on January 3 targeted ‘snowflakes, selfie addicts, class clowns, phone zombies and ‘me, me, millennials’ ‘ as part of a £1.5million campaign aimed at overturning negative stereotypes.
Critics said they patronised youngsters and the soldier used on the ‘snowflake’ poster threatened to quit.
But the Army said yesterday it had 9,700 applications in the first three weeks of January – a five-year high – compared to 5,437 the previous year.

Whether anyone would want  more of said demographic in their army, or anywhere for that matter, is a topic for another time, but whatever.

What’s troubling is the way that the Brit Army supports its soldiers once they’ve joined.  Try this little horror show (and you may want to put all guns and/or throwable objects out of reach before you read it):

How hero soldier won the Military Cross for unimaginable bravery in Iraq then years later was smeared as a war criminal by leeching lawyers

Disgusting.  And I’m not just talking about the fucking lawyers.

P.S.  Mind you, that’s not to say the U.S. doesn’t do the same thing.  Fuckers.