Category: Morons & Idiots

In the Heart Of Stone category comes this predictable outcome:

Lance Crosby wanted to be at one with nature, choosing to rely on his senses rather than carry bear spray or his mobile phone…

…and it goes without saying, “or a gun”, so:

…that decision was to cost him his life after he was eaten alive by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. The 260lb adult female bear, along with her cubs, feasted on the 63-year-old from Montana.

So he became “at one with nature” all right, by becoming bear nom-noms, kinda like berries.

I’m just amazed that being from Montana, he didn’t understand the situation vis-à-vis bears, but apparently he was a nurse from Billings (and not some hippie from Missoula, which would have been my bet).  And at 63, you’d have thought he had more sense, but he didn’t.

The worst part of all of this is that the rangers tracked down and captured the mama grizzly, tested her to see if she was the actual Lance-eater. And when they established that she was, they slaughtered her and sent her cubs off to a zoo.

So because of one moron’s starry-eyed stupidity, everyone came out of this sorry episode just fine and dandy.

Makes me want to find his grave, and pour a pint of gin over it.

After first passing it through my kidneys.

It should have been a speed bump, but there was no grammar involved.  See if you can spot the absolute howler in the caption to the pic below, as it appeared in the Daily Mail:

Hint:  there’s photographic proof of what the guy actually wrote on his armband, you fucking morons, yet you not only misread it, but gave it a completely different meaning.

Where did I put my flamethrower?

I should point out that Breitbart got it right:

English Premier League Star Who Wrote ‘I Love Jesus’ on LGBTQ Armband Breaks Silence

Clearly, they actually looked at the pic before writing the headline… unlike the Mail  idiots.

I once knew a fellow-immigrant who had arrived in the U.S. because his parents had moved their family out of Iran.  When I asked why they’d done so, he replied, “They were Catholics.”

Here’s one that intrigued me:

UAE officials have arrested three people suspected of killing an Israeli Rabbi who went missing in Dubai.

…which makes me ask:  “What was a rabbi doing in an Arab country to begin with?”   Seems like you’re asking for trouble — like being a rabbi in Bradford or Dearborn, only worse.

Oh… this explains it:

He had been working for the Chabad movement in Abu Dhabi since late 2020 – when the UAE recognised Israel as a state.

For the benefit of my Gentile Readers, the Chabad Lubavitch movement is akin to the old London Missionary Society, which sent priests and nuns out into foreign lands to convert the natives to their specific brand of Christianity.  Chabad is the kosher version.

As with the Christians, though, who have traditionally come to a gruesome end (#CongoleseMurderAndRape) my sympathy is somewhat tempered by the questions: “What the hell were you thinking?” and “How else did you think this was going to end?”

It’s a little like hearing that the guy who made his living in a circus by putting his head into a lion’s mouth eventually had his head bitten off — and we’re all supposed to get the sadz because #OhTheHumanity.

Nope.  Try selling that at some other address.

I can say with absolute certainty that I am never going to get attacked by a shark, because I have no intention of ever swimming in the sea, even if someone tells me it’s all part of Saving Teh Whales or something.

Don’t go where you’re not wanted.

Update:  I couple of my Readers have written to remind me that Chabad does not go outside Israel to proselytize, but to minister to the existing Jewish population is there. I knew that, but my writing was sloppy, so thankee for the correction.

My last sentence, however, remains unchanged.  Why ANY Jews would willingly go to the UAE, or indeed to any Muslim country is beyond me.