Category: Morons & Idiots

Mommy Of The Year

Morons & Idiots

Sent to me by Reader Mike L., this lovely example of responsible parenting:

Mom arrested for giving Jell-O shots to kids at elementary school Christmas party

Much as I would have laughed myself sick at watching a roomful of rug rats falling all over the place and getting into fistfights over who gets the last piece of cake, this is just plain irresponsible. I mean, what made her think that this would be a good idea?

Giving your own kids booze:  just idiotic.  Giving other people’s kids booze:  slapworthy (by the parents of each kid, consecutively).

My biggest problem, though, is what actual punishment should be meted out to Mommie Dearest.

Suggestions in Comments.

 

Sliding Off

Funny Stuff, Morons & Idiots, Politics

I think what I love the most about today’s political climate — other than the tsunamis of Liberal tears each day — is the fact that our governing class seems to be immune to childish insults.  Here are a few such, of recent memory:

“Trump is an orange-skinned horror!”

His response:  wear more fake tan than ever.

“Trump is like the Evil Emperor!”  followed by a Photoshop:

Trump supporters:  “What’s the last thing a useless federal bureaucrat sees before being tossed out of his office?”

And then there was that time when Rep. Jizzmine “Daisy” Crockett insulted Jim Abbott by calling the paraplegic Texas governor “Hot Wheels”, which led to this appearing on Twatter:

…which in turn resulted in well over a thousand twats asking where they could buy the toy, and a huge climb in his popularity rating in the polls.

Give it up, Lefties.  Insults might have worked back in playground days, but we conservatives are largely immune to it now.

Feel free to share this with Pocahantas:

…and Smegel:

…and of course She Who Would Be President:

We’ll just laugh at you for your failed socialist ideas masquerading as a Nude Eel or something.

Simple Solution

Gummint, Mocking Furriners, Morons & Idiots

Here’s an interesting development in Britishland.  Apparently, there’s a garbage workers’ strike in Birmingham, and as “Brum” is run by Labour and is a wretched hive of scum and villainy thereby, this is a case of ultra-Lefties arguing with “ordinary” Lefties — you pick which fits best for which — and has left the city streets (never that tidy to begin with) in a state of advanced rat infestation.

So then this came along:

Tories call for Cobra meeting over Birmingham bin strike
The Tories are urging the Deputy Prime Minister to send in private cleaning firms to break the unions’ grip over the rubbish-strewn second city.

The three-week pay dispute has seen detritus pile high in the streets, with residents saying neighbourhoods are plagued by giant rats “as big as cats”.

It centres on a row between the bankrupt Birmingham council, which is Labour run, and the Unite union.

I have no idea what a “Cobra” meeting is, but for one memorable moment, I thought it involved getting all the unionistas  and city councilors into one room, locking all the doors and windows and giving them ten minutes to come to an agreement.  If that failed, then throw a bunch of live cobras into the locked room.

I bet the hapless residents of Birmingham would be the first in line to watch the proceedings on PPV.

Too extreme?  Let’s ask the Brummies to vote on it.

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

Morons & Idiots, Train Smash Women

…and how.

Seems as though the city of Miami got sick of the annual Spring Break bacchanalia, and tossed it out, with the expected outcome:

After dropping a tongue-in-cheek video last year about “breaking up” with Spring Break, the city’s slapped on some serious restrictions. For the weekends of March 13-16 and March 20-23, they’re enforcing rules like curfews and bag checks.

Some liquor stores are shutting at 8pm, DUI checkpoints are in place and beach access has been restricted. Miami Beach’s Chief Wayne Jones put it bluntly: “We apologize, but this is necessary. I know it’s painful. Short term pain for long term gain.”

As a result, Spring Break’s taken a hit. Footage from Miami shows deserted beaches and glum party-goers who have found the once-heaving strip eerily quiet.

Some Spring Breakers who jetted off to Miami are now regretting their decision. On TikTok, a duo warned their followers with a blunt “don’t come”. They then declared: “Spring break ain’t the same in Miami no more.”

So what’s a party-hearty Spring Breaker to do?  Where to go?

Well… there’s always the old standby, Fort Lauderdale, who rolled out the red carpet:

Students who live for the party scene have found a new haven as Fort Lauderdale opens its arms wide to welcome them. The city is becoming the go-to spot, with Mayor Dean Trantalis declaring that “anyone” is invited to join the fun.

Mayor Trantalis explained: “We have a different vibe here in Fort Lauderdale versus Miami Beach. I think the mood is edgier in Miami Beach and honestly, I think the beach is sort of an afterthought when it comes to the reason for that destination. Most people are drawn to the party scenes.  Everyone under the sun is welcome. We appreciate everyone regardless of their background, their faith, their race, who they love, Fort Lauderdale is a place for everyone.”

What happened next?  Oh, say it ain’t so:

Spring Break brawl erupts on controversial beach

Would you look at that, it’s mid March and Spring Break is well underway for sun-seeking US college students. Great weather, booze and hundreds of wannabe party-goers all in the same place. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, just when police at the Florida city of Fort Lauderdale thought they’d seen it all after years of annual shenanigans, images from the beach this week may just be a first. You’d be forgiven for allowing American Pie to paint an idyllic Spring Break scene of lads throwing a ball around with a few tins of cold ones to pass the time during the day. At Fort Lauderdale this week, however, it was an altogether more violent sport drawing masses on masses of crowds – boxing.

And pandemonium ensued, so:

Police stormed the ruckus to pull the plug on proceedings. The city of Fort Lauderdale authorities responded to the violence with a statement: “Fort Lauderdale Police witnessed and broke up two incidents on the beach and the crowd complied both times without further issues. There have been no reported or confirmed cases of betting. This type of behavior will not be tolerated.

“Our police department is out along the beach in full force to make this spring break season safe and enjoyable for visitors and residents alike. We encourage anyone who witnesses a disturbance to call 911.”

Until April 12 in high-traffic beach areas, Fort Lauderdale has placed a blanket ban on alcohol, coolers, tents, tables and live or amplified music.

To Hizzoner Mayor Trantalis:  you asked for it;  you got it.  You said it’s “a place for everyone”;  well, not “everyone” is someone you want coming into your town, of course.

In the tags above, this post falls under “Morons & Idiots” — that’s the city of Fort Lauderdale management.  The “Train Smash Women”, of course…

Their dads must be so proud.

Darwin Smiles

Morons & Idiots

In the Heart Of Stone category comes this predictable outcome:

Lance Crosby wanted to be at one with nature, choosing to rely on his senses rather than carry bear spray or his mobile phone…

…and it goes without saying, “or a gun”, so:

…that decision was to cost him his life after he was eaten alive by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. The 260lb adult female bear, along with her cubs, feasted on the 63-year-old from Montana.

So he became “at one with nature” all right, by becoming bear nom-noms, kinda like berries.

I’m just amazed that being from Montana, he didn’t understand the situation vis-à-vis bears, but apparently he was a nurse from Billings (and not some hippie from Missoula, which would have been my bet).  And at 63, you’d have thought he had more sense, but he didn’t.

The worst part of all of this is that the rangers tracked down and captured the mama grizzly, tested her to see if she was the actual Lance-eater. And when they established that she was, they slaughtered her and sent her cubs off to a zoo.

So because of one moron’s starry-eyed stupidity, everyone came out of this sorry episode just fine and dandy.

Makes me want to find his grave, and pour a pint of gin over it.

After first passing it through my kidneys.

So Much For Compassion

Immigration, Marxists, Morons & Idiots

Okay, you would truly have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this one:

A theatre in Paris which is known for its radical shows and exhibitions has been occupied by more than 250 African migrants after they were let in for a free event five weeks ago.

The Gaîté Lyrique theatre in Paris staged the conference, entitled Reinventing the welcome for refugees in France, on December 10.

It involved talks hosted by academics from top universities and Red Cross officials, and saw activists welcome in the migrants.

But when the conference was finished, the migrants, who mainly come from France’s former west African colonies, refused to leave the venue.

Still occupied, the leftist theatre now faces going out of business after weeks without revenue from ticket sales, and has had to cancel all performances until at least January 24.

Its management said in a statement last week that the number of people taking shelter in the theatre is ‘continuing to increase’ and has swelled to around 300 people.

Who could have seen this coming?  Raise your hands…

Oh… everyone, huh?  [exit, howling with laughter]