Category: Morons & Idiots

Small Wonder

Morons & Idiots, Retailing

The last time I was in an office supply retail store (Staples, Office Depot etc.) was shortly before I took down my consultant’s shingle and beat a client to death with it.

A frequent customer of such establishments, therefore, I am not.

So when New Wife asked me to swing by one and buy a half-dozen plastic clipboards while she was doing the laundry, I obliged with pleasure.  Here’s the item under discussion:

I know, we could just have bought the things from Satan’s Warehouse Amazon, but they were needed urgently, i.e. the next day, so we would have to buy at full retail.  But the price stuck in my mind, because that meant that the clipboards would price out at just over a couple of bucks each.

So I went over to Staples, who had the product not at all, nay even unto other colors.  “Maybe next week?” was the helpful response from the stock clerk of whom I made the request.

No big deal:  this is America, land of choices sufficient to make you puke.  So pausing only to knee the surly peasant in the groin, I went over to Office Depot, literally across the road.

Okay, they didn’t have any blue ones in stock (school uniform color, in case you’re interested).  But they did have clear ones which, when I checked with Herself, were judged “satisfactory” albeit grudgingly.

But no price in the shelf, so I grabbed a passing flunky by the ear and told him to scan the UPC code with his little scanner thingy, which he did after only a little moaning.

Then he told me the price of the piece of plastic with tin clip up top:

Thirteen (13) U.S. dollars… EACH

…and then it was my turn to do the moaning.

Fucking hell.  If a piece of mass-produced-made-in-China shit can cost in-store what can be purchased online at one-sixth of the price, something is wrong somewhere.  It could be the office supply store’s pricing policy, it could be the cost of shipping, it could be that the price was entered into the store’s price file at 10x the intended (that added decimal place matters, you know), it could be any number of things.

Anyway, New Wife was as appalled as I was, the teachers will just have to settle for something other than a blue plastic clipboard, and I’m sure that Office Depot’s fire insurance policy can replace the store… or not, I don’t care.

Because it will be another decade before I bother to set foot inside one of them again.

Actually, Yes

Morons & Idiots, Psychos

As with the above article, here’s a story which makes my fists clench involuntarily:

A female American Airlines employee was left permanently scarred after a male passenger repeatedly punched her, according to a report.

The reported incident happened on Monday night when Bruce Luke Machiavelo, 29, from Fairfield County, Connecticut, was on a flight from Miami to LaGuardia Airport in New York.

Machiavelo had told a flight attendant that he suffers from panic attacks and that he wanted to retrieve his medication that was in his checked luggage, according to a Miami-Dade police report.  Once the attendant explained to the passenger that he wasn’t going to be able to get his medication, he told her that he ‘took planes down with panic attacks in the past’, the report said.

Machiavelo was then escorted off the aircraft, arrested and hit with multiple charges including aggravated battery, battery, disorderly conduct and resisting an officer without violence.

When he was taken off the airplane, Machiavelo reportedly pushed and screamed at the American Airline’s manager who approached him, police said.  He punched her several times in the face before he threw her to the floor, causing her to bash her head on the gangway, according to authorities. As he rushed off the plane, Machiavelo also shoved a gate agent to the floor, leading her to injure her hands.

The manager was taken to a nearby hospital with permanent scarring to her face and head, the report said.

So you know you suffer from panic attacks, yet you pack your meds into checked luggage and not in a carry-on bag?

And then go Full Raving Psycho Loony when your ridiculous requests aren’t met?

Here’s my first question:  would anyone have a problem with the cops giving this punk a savage beating before slamming his ass in a cell?

Second question:  would anyone have a problem with this asshole being forced to pay for the hapless woman’s medical treatment and plastic surgery?

If you say “No, I have no problem with your suggestions, Kim”  to both the above questions, then we can be friends.

To be honest, I’ve sometimes wanted to go nuts when some airline employee enforces some ridiculous airline regulation on me.  The difference is that I haven’t.  And nor should this asshole, but clearly he’s been accustomed to have his every wish granted in the past, purely because of his “panic attacks”.

Well, fuck him and all the people of his ilk.

Conspiracies

Freaks & Loonies, Morons & Idiots

Seen at Kenny’s:

Not sure I go with that one, but its proposition may not be unjustified.

The question, however, is an interesting one.

On that scale, I’m at about a 2.  But I’m willing to be challenged.

Here’s my point.  The larger the alleged conspiracy, the less I’m likely to go for it.  So most of the so-called “Global” conspiracies (World Economic Foundation, Jewish Banking, you name it) fall apart at the first hurdle because the larger the conspiracy, the more people involved, the less likely it is to be true.

  • Is there a conspiracy among your coworkers to get you fired? —  easily established and exposed.
  • Did the CIA conspire to kill JFK?  — no.
  • Did Aristotle Onassis conspire to kill JFK?  — maybe.
  • …because he was in the thrall of the International Emerald Market? — definitely not.
  • Are socialists conspiring to bring down the United States?  — read the news and follow the dots;  of course they are.

In the latter case, it might not be a planned conspiracy, in that there’s no secret Bilderburger / Comintern / whatever .org issuing commands to the various socialists;  but that doesn’t mean they aren’t all working towards a common goal — which they are.

The other meme making the rounds runs along the lines of:

“Today’s conspiracy nuts will be seen by history as prophets.”

That, I might go along with.  Unless the conspiracy is an obvious crock of shit.  But as I said above, I’m willing to be challenged.

And by the way:  any suggested conspiracy that includes those bastards at DeBeers Diamonds?  I’ll believe it.

Schadenböner Alert

Morons & Idiots, Muzzies, Snowflakes

You would have to have a heart of stone not to pee yourself laughing at this one, and I don’t:

Several Harvard University students came out quickly after Saturday’s terrorist attacks in Israel to blame Israelis for the carnage and support Hamas.

Public scrutiny fell on these individuals and now many appear to regret their pro-Hamas position.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has reportedly put out a statement requesting aid for the students whose first reaction was to stand in solidarity with the terrorists who raped, killed, captured, and decapitated innocent civilians.

”They may require legal counsel, healthcare, mental health support, financial aid, or mentorship to navigate these turbulent and uncertain times,” the statement reads.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has expressed concern for the students’ “immigration status and future career prospects.”

Deport those who qualify, and put the rest on food stamps for, oh, the next twenty years.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend to my clothing.

Dept. Of (Self) Righteous Shootings

Crime, Morons & Idiots

Rule #1 when handling all loaded firearms, children?

Keep the booger-hook off the bang-switch!

Seems like this scrote didn’t get the memo:

A carjacker died after he accidentally blasted himself in the chest while trying to smash a window with the butt of his shotgun, an inquest has heard.

Officers investigating the death of Reece Ramsey-Johnson said they were satisfied there was ‘no third party involvement’ as they closed the probe into his killing.

Witnesses who saw the 22-year-old dying from gunshot wounds in the street outside a Lloyds bank in Sydenham on Sunday, September 8, said his own gun may have gone off when he used to to hit a car window.

Opening the inquest at Southwark Coroner’s Court on Thursday September 26, Dr Andrew Harris confirmed the police investigation had now ended.

He said: ‘The investigating officer is satisfied there is no third party involvement.

You may now do what I did when I first saw the report (and thanks to all who sent it to me):

Oh and by the way:  criminals are not allowed to possess firearms in Britishland, so this report may be Russian disinformation. [/eyecross]