Dude… Seriously?

Is it so wrong that this headline made me howl with laughter?

Argentine doctor is arrested for ‘masturbating on a 27-year-old patient’s back while performing an ultrasound on her genitals’

I’m creating the visual, here… sorry, I have to go to the toilet because otherwise my pants will become unsanitary.

Okay, I’m better now.

However, there is a serious aspect to this episode.  Using gun restrictionists’ logic, therefore, we need to ban these assault ultrasound devices (“assault” in that they enable perverts to sexually assault their female patients) and furthermore, all doctors should have to pass a state background check for masturbatory impulses.

Hey, if it can save just one  back from being jizzed on, right?

Eucalyptus Now

Can anyone else hear the hoofbeats?  No?  Then read this appalling news:

They were the must-have accessory of the eighties and nineties but quickly fell out of fashion.
And now the humble bum bag, also known in the US as the fanny pack, has made a surprising comeback with top designers and celebrities championing the once wildly-mocked accessory.
Fashion houses such as Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton have all showcased bum bags on the catwalk.
And unlike the garish bright, polyester styles of the eighties and nighties, designers have given the accessory a sophisticated makeover with smart leather styles often called ‘belt bags’.

And if that isn’t enough to turn your stomach:

Style-savvy models and celebrities have been spotted donning this sought-after accessory, including Taylor swift who was spotted sporting the ‘Ophidia’ bag by Gucci over the weekend.

Oy vey.  (No pics, because I refuse to be responsible for mass projectile vomiting.)

All that said, I have to confess to owning one of these horrible things.  It’s made of polyester, it’s in my SHTF bin, and it holds five 10-round 1911 magazines.  For emergency use only, when I don’t care what I look like and there are multiple goblins to be shot.

Pick Your Spot

Say you were involved with some shady people (albeit innocently), but after testifying against their evil asses, the Gummint decides that it would be in your best interests to put you (and, say, your wife, assuming grown- or no kids) into the Witness Protection Program (WitSec) for the rest of your life.  You do have a choice of places to go (but read this little piece first before you make your decision).

Where would you ask to be placed, and why?  What specific town / area, what kind of community, and so on — all need to be considered, and it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Responses, as always, in Comments.  I’ll reveal mine tomorrow in a separate post.

Unhealthy Religion

The waspish Sarah Vine tried becoming a vegan, and did not have a good time:

Evangelical vegans will tell you that following a purely ‘plant-based’ diet is not only morally commendable, it’s also much better for your health. But if my experience is anything to go by, the opposite is true.
I felt absolutely fine for the first few days. I didn’t miss meat at all, certainly not in terms of taste or flavour. The only thing I really felt an absence of was eggs. Since I embarked on my mammoth weight-loss project, eggs have become a dietary staple for me: nothing fills me up as well or gives me quite as much long-lasting energy as an egg.
I also found I had to eat larger portions to feel full — and I felt hungry again after a shorter period of time. But even that didn’t bother me, since what I was eating was so wholesome.
No, the real issue became apparent after the third or fourth day. Not to put too fine a point on it: wind.

One of the key arguments of vegans against livestock farming is the harm animals cause to the planet through the amount of methane they produce; if my experience was anything to go by, a vegan human is capable of producing just as much, if not more. I was a one-woman global warming hazard.

I don’t doubt that for some people veganism is a wonderful and fulfilling way of life. But the idea — widely promoted by its proponents — that veganism is something we can all embrace is, I’m afraid, at best baloney, at worst downright dangerous.

Read it all for the details, but all it did was make me want to attack a plate of ribs, just to be on the safe side.

Paradise

Saw this pic at Timewaster‘s place the other day:

Clear out a couple dead trees to accommodate a little .22 range, add a clay thrower to the end of the pier, and Kim’s a happy bunny gunny.

Oh, I forgot:  also, a Ma Deuce to keep gummint agents ummm large predators errrr pirates  at bay.  That’s what I meant… pirates.