Category: Funny Stuff

Aw, Diddums

Freaks & Loonies

OMG it must be so difficult to be a vegan these days…

British vegans claim they have been mocked, derided and snubbed by waiters because of their lifestyle choices.
MailOnline spoke to three women about their experiences of adopting a plant-based lifestyle and all three said they had encountered problems when dining out – from milk in their coffee to salad containing eggs.
It comes after a study found that well over half of vegans (61 per cent) have faced difficulties and been ‘snubbed’ by waiters when eating out at restaurants because of their choice of diet.
A further 41 per cent claimed that waiters have accidentally served them food excluded from their diet, with a third (35 per cent) said they struggle to find the right foods when eating out.

Listen to this tale of horror:

‘On another occasion when ordering a vegan salad from the menu – I was brought the wrong food – a salad with anchovies and egg on it. When I pointed out that this isn’t my order, in response I got: “No, this is vegetarian, just what you asked for!” I then embarked on a long conversation explaining the difference.’

I can just imagine the tone of the “long conversation”.  And by the way, a “study” of a sample of a splinter section of society isn’t going to yield credible data, so take your 41% and 61% and eat it — provided the numbers are plant-based, of course.

Let’s see if I’ve got this right:  you assume behavior that sets you apart from the mainstream of society, then try to make everyone change to fit your freakish choice.  Ergo:

Oy.  Nothing like an evangelist, eh?

Veganism is not a lifestyle choice, it’s a religion.  And I’m an atheist.  The same, by the way, goes for bullshit eating restrictions like halaal and kosher.

All this talk of food has done the usual to me.  Time for brekkie.

And I apologize for the “vegetable” part of the meal, but it was  cooked in beef fat.

Ummm Okay

Africa, Freaks & Loonies, Immigration

From Racist-In-Chief Louis Farrakhan:

“But God has something else for us! Let me tell you what’s gonna happen. Yes, I’m after a separate state. A separate nation. In the ’60s, what was our cry, Rock? We weren’t saying we want to integrate, we were saying ‘It’s nation time!’ Black Power to do what? To integrate a lunch counter? Black Power to build a nation for 40 million — now near 50 million — Black people.”

Errrr Yer Reverendness… Black people already have their own nation.  It’s called “Africa.”  Here are some suggestions for you and the Nation of Islam:
Somalia (100% Muslim), Sudan (97% Muslim), Senegal (96% Muslim). Mali (95% Muslim), Burkina Faso (~60% Muslim), Chad (~60% Muslim), Djibouti (97% Muslim), Gambia (95% Muslim), Guinea (89% Muslim), Niger (98% Muslim), Sierra Leone (~90% Muslim).
Assuming that non-Muslim Black people who want their own country don’t want to live where your Muslim buddies can fuck them over, they can have their pick of the rest of sub-Saharan Africa, e.g. Kenya, Tanzania, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Angola and Mozambique.

And no, you don’t get to turn some large part of the U.S. into some kind mega-Detroit.  You can feel free to leave anytime you want, asshole, but I bet that ordinary Black people don’t want any part of that segregationist bullshit.

Too Many Words, Mozart

Freaks & Loonies

My dear friend Sarah spends way too much time, devotes way too much empathy and writes far too many words talking about 0.0005% of the population.

There is a similarly-sized percentage of the population who consider voluntary amputation of limbs as a worthwhile life choice, but (so far) this bunch of sad people hasn’t been elevated by progressives and their media lickspittles to a topic for national debate and enforced social accommodation.

Me, I’m sick of hearing about how “transitioning” people get offended when people either don’t recognize their “status” or (like me) refuse to give them the recognition and “caring” that they demand by, for example, using nonsensical pronouns (xir? xey? xooey?  they sound like 50s comic book sound effects) in describing or addressing them.

As far as I’m concerned, this whole “trans” bunch may be a group worthy of sympathy/empathy, or alternatively a collection of pathetic, dysfunctional people;  but  either way, as a percentage of the populace they fall so far down the bell curve numerically that there’s no point in talking or even thinking about them.  We have better things to do with our time.

And I too have spent way too much time on this particular topic, so now it’s back to guns.

Travel Plans

Mocking Furriners, Travels

As my own offspring have proved to be utterly shit in the Grandchild Production Process, I have had to resort to marrying someone whose kids (or one of them, anyway), has a clue.

Yes, Angie’s Elder Son has just given us a grandchild.

Sadly, however, he is not local to these climes;  in fact, he married an Oz-chick* a while ago, and… moved to Oz!

[pause to let gasps of horror die away]

You know what this means, right?  Yes… I have to go to Australia in April to wet the baby’s head.  And as any fule kno, this means being exposed to the various (and toxic) forms of Oz wildlife, such as the Brown Snake (and its buddies):

…the Funnel-Web Spider (and its buddies):

We all know about the Sand Tiger Sharks (and their buddies):

…and let’s not even talk about the other species of dangerous Australian fauna:

Thankfully, the last two species (sharks ‘n sluts) pose little danger to me as a.) I never swim in the sea, and b.) I’m taking my own woman with me.

So off I go, to wander ‘midst furriners again… [sigh]

Gah.

*Some people may wonder why I got involved with a family which is happy to consort with Australians, but hey:  my own Son&Heir has a Canucki-Girlfriend, so we try to be inclusive.  It’s all about Diversity!, isn’t it?

By Its Real Name

Funny Stuff

Victor Davis Hanson calls it “pseudo-authenticity“;  I call it by its real name:  fake.

“It” of course refers to how people create fake or at best misleading backgrounds for themselves (VDH provides a list of the more modern ones) in order to make them more appealing to prospective employers, voters, whatever.

I’ve always joked that if someone hires me, they can check a whole slew of “desirable” boxes:  Kim = female, Du Toit = French-sounding, Africa-born = racial minority quota, etc.  Of course, instead of the Black French-speaking woman they expect, the company would get this employee:

…but that would just serve them right, wouldn’t it?

At least my pseudo-authenticity (and this post) is humorous;  that of “Beto” O’Rourke (fake Meskin), Elizabeth Warren (fake Injun) and Rachel Dolezal (fake nigra) is quite serious.