Category: Funny Stuff

Weekend News Roundup

Funny Stuff

1) “Unexploded World War II bombs hamper efforts to battle massive wildfires rampaging through a German forest” — don’t care;  they started it.

2) “Mummified body found in a hoarder’s home ‘belonged to a cat burglar who was executed on the spot after being caught in the act’ ” — I have an alibi.  (Oh, sure:  like you’ve never thought about doing it.)

3) “Wednesday’s Cascadia Quake A Wake-Up Call For Pacific Northwest:  Feared Mammoth 9.0+ Quake A Matter Of When, Not If” — can’t wait.

4) “The eurozone is destined to fail.” — can’t wait, Part II.

5) “State Department is blocking economic aid slated for the Palestinians and is sending it somewhere else!” — about time, too.  God-Emperor Trump continues to wow conservatives, this time by shafting those Arab assholes — who don’t deserve anything from us considering their past, present and future behavior.

And your “feelgood” story of the day:

6) “Clueless couple struggled to get pregnant for four years are told by doctor the wife is still a virgin because they were having anal sex” — well, at least the husband got something out of it… but after they figured out what they were doing wrong, she got pregnant, which as any fule kno, is when the sex stops.  I know all this sounds unlikely, but let us remember that this happened in China, where anything’s statistically possible in a population of 1.5 billion people.

National Mockery: The Welsh

Funny Stuff, Mocking Furriners

As far as I’m concerned, making fun of foreigners is one of the best forms of humor, period.  It has a storied tradition, and the thing about it is that the humor often contains germs of truth, if not complete truisms.  Despite what today’s PC- and Snowflake generations may think, that it can be offensive is all the funnier.

When this guy posted a funny about the Welsh, apparently the sheep-shaggers took offense at the dig:

He was criticised by Welsh speakers, with Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood accusing him of ‘ignorance’ and a ‘lack of culture’.
Ms Wood tweeted him saying: ‘As the chair of the Barbican centre in London, why would you show such ignorance, spite and lack of culture as you have displayed in this tweet?
‘If it was meant to be a joke, it just isn’t funny. An apology would be good.’

Frankly, I think it’s hysterically funny, but it seems that I may be in the minority.  [#Don’tCare]

I’m therefore starting a category on this here website which does nothing but poke fun at furriners of all races, creeds and colors. (I know, this is not exactly a new concept on my back porch, but now I’m formalizing the thing.)  So on the subject of the Welsh, here’s another one:

And from the “What Did You Expect?  They’re Welsh! ” Department comes this wonderful headline:

Football superstar Gareth Bale calls OFF wedding after fiancee’s father was jailed, brother-in-law died and grandparents got caught in bizarre feud over suitcase full of £750,000 cash (AND after they tried to hire Beyonce as the wedding singer)

I supposed Tom Jones was already booked.

Feel free to add your own Welsh (-only) jokes in Comments (and as always, don’t be shy — as long as it’s funny).

Next time I’ll pick on another nationality.

And by the way, just in case someone is curious:  there will be no apologies in this department, ever.

Afterthought:  Alert Reader KyleM tells me in an email that the pic is incorrect:  if that were truly in Wales, it would be the shepherd shagging the sheep, not his sheepdog.  Kyle gets a Kimbo Award for making me spew my morning gin all over the keyboard.

Irony Alert

Funny Stuff, Health

So former supermodel Elle McPherson is dating a doctor.  Ordinarily, I would not care, and nor should any sentient human being.  But this is not just any doctor, oh no — as the Daily Mail  breathlessly informs us:

Elle Macpherson, 54, is dating discredited former doctor Andrew Wakefield, 60, a driving force behind the anti-vaxxer movement when his debunked theory linked the childhood MMR jab to autism

…and of course there’s a pic:

…which makes me think:  while I certainly do not wish any harm on the Oz bint, wouldn’t be wonderfully ironic if by kissing this charlatan, she contracted a serious yet preventable disease?

(Side note:  kissing with eyes open? eewwww)

 

Not Wise

Funny Stuff, Politics

With all due respect to the God-Emperor, I would suggest that giving a million bucks to the Communist Party of the USA is a Bad Idea.  A better idea would be to offer to give the money to the Indian tribe with which her DNA is affiliated.