Funny Stuff – Page 29 – Splendid Isolation

Spanking Opportunity

September 11, 2023 Kim du Toit Eco-Crap, Freaks & Loonies

Here’s a way to deal with the Glue Movement — okay, first a little background from Reader Mike L.:

Coco Gauff’s U.S. Open semifinal victory over Karolina Muchova was delayed by 50 minutes because of a disruption by four environmental activists in the Arthur Ashe Stadium stands Thursday night. One protester glued his bare feet to the concrete floor.

My first reaction to this little reindeer game was to think: “If they’re glued to the floor, they can’t run away, can they?”

Which led to the following (perhaps unworthy) visual:

Oh sure, like I’m the only one who thought of that when reading the article…

Monday Funnies

September 11, 2023 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

Here’s a fresh take:

“To love.”
“To pain.”
“Tonight.”

And our “exit” music for the day, played by:

Extra points if you can identify any of them.

There’s A Smell In The Air

September 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Food & Drink, Lies and Untruths, Veggies & Vegans

…and no, it’s not the smell of cooking vegan burgers:

Britons are turning away from meat with a majority backing subsidies for plant-based alternatives, according to the RSPCA.

New figures suggest a revolution in eating habits for a nation that was previously defined by its love of roast beef and a fry-ups, with their bacon, sausages and eggs.

A study sponsored by the animal charity found 58 per cent have taken steps to eliminate or reduce their own meat consumption.

Uh huh. I bet the study was taken in Islington, among people seen leaving vegetarian and vegan restaurants, and duh! it’s coming from the RSPCA, hardly an unbiased organization.

That smell? Ah yes: it’s non-vegan bullshit.

All this, among actual data showing that vegan (i.e. fake meat) food-producing companies are in financial difficulties if not going out of business altogether, ditto vegan restaurants and so on.

But if you repeat the lie often enough, it becomes the truth. [cf. climate change, Josef Goebbels]

Still:

Monday Funnies

September 4, 2023 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

Some deep thoughts for the day:

Ah, never mind; let’s just go with outright defiance:

Is it too soon for Hawaii Fire jokes?

Nah, fukkem. They always vote Democrat, anyway, the hippie assholes.

And speaking of island paradises and suntans:

Here’s one which describes my condition:

So… let’s head off to work:

…with or without a tan.

More Expert Bullshit

August 29, 2023 Kim du Toit Morons & Idiots, Science!

Oh, how we laughed:

It’s a mystery that has puzzled scientists for years, but one scientist believes he may finally know what’s behind the Bermuda Triangle disappearances.

The Bermuda Triangle is an area of the North Atlantic ocean near Bermuda, where several ships have disappeared over the years. Some have claimed that there’s a whirlpool hidden there, while others suggest that aliens may be to blame for the disappearances. But one expert claims that rocks may explain the mystery.

Speaking in a Channel 5 documentary, Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle, Nick Hutchings, a mineral prospector, explained: “Bermuda’s basically a sea mountain – it’s an underwater volcano. 30 million years ago, it was sticking up above sea level. It has now eroded away and we’re left with the top of a volcano. We have a few core samples, which have magnetite in them. It’s the most magnetic naturally occurring material on Earth.”

On the programme, Mr Hutchings then conducted an experiment using some of the rock and a compass. When the rock was placed on a flat surface and the compass was moved over it, the needle went crazy. This is due to the fact the rocks contain magnetite. Mr Hutchings added: “You can just imagine the ancient mariners sailing past Bermuda. It would be very disconcerting.”

…especially as said ancient mariners would have been sailing in wooden ships.