Category: Funny Stuff

FAFO

Crime, Law and Order, Morons & Idiots

I’m not a huge fan of the term “fuck around and find out” (or its past tense equivalent), meaning you wanna play games, you might not end up with the consequences you wanted.  I don’t know what the Brit expression of the above might be, but here’s a real-life example:

A marked police car was chasing after a [car driven by] men who were driving at high speeds through London before crashing outside Central Middlesex Hospital this morning.

Now that’s a lucky place to crash if ever there was one.  However:

A 17-year-old boy has been killed and a second is fighting for his life after the car struck a kerb and flipped over. 

The 17-year-old was pronounced dead shortly after the collision on Park Royal at around 5:25am. Two other men in the car at the time were rushed to hospital for treatment with their injuries first believed to be life threatening. One remains in a critical condition with the other now said to be stable but still receiving medical help.

A fourth passenger was not seriously hurt in the crash.

So the Gods of the Copybook Headings came through, in this case, because TANSTAAFL/Ride  (said Gods generally being the nemeses of the ungodly, as the ones dealing out the consequences.)

Of course, this being Britishland, there has to be An Inquiry, but I can’t see what for.  Little shits were driving a car (probably stolen, 2:1) and that recklessly through an urban area.  Had they collided with a pedestrian or another car, some innocent lives might have been lost.  As it was, nobody dead except those that should be.

Just this once, I’d like to be heading up the inquiry.  It would take about half an hour, and only that long because I’d order takeout pizza for everyone as we discussed the (very few) details before sending everyone on their way with no consequences for any of the cops, who were only doing their job, after all.

Of course, the parents of the deceased scrote(s, I’m hoping) will be all Weepy And Waily because their little Precious was a good boy who sang in the choir and they can’t imagine how he got involved in such Bad Company, and all the usual twaddle.  They should be billed for the replacement value of the wrecked car as a consequence for not supervising their still-minor child.  That they won’t be will just encourage similar negligence among other parents, unfortunately.

In case anyone has missed it, I’m not feeling in a very charitable mood today.

3 Modern Things I Have Never Done

3 Inexplicable Things

…which most other people seem to have done:

  • Used a car’s embedded navigation system.  (Okay, I did try — once — to use the Tiguan’s navsys, but gave up after three tries and resorted to the phone instead.  To be fair, the VW system was very clunky — 2013 era — so maybe it has improved since then, but now I just use the awful Waze app to venture to Parts Unknown because I became familiar with it during the Uber Years.  And New Wife’s 2015 Fiat 500 has no such thing on its spartan dashboard.)
  • Bought anything from TEMU.  (A lot of Millennials and Gen Z kids seem to love this Amazon-like thing, but that Chinese factory-direct-to-user model… I trust it not.  Plus long delivery times, especially when compared to Amazon, and from what I gather, returns are almost impossible — “not worth the hassle” seems to be a common statement, and with that renowned Chinese build quality?  Pass.)
  • Bought or used any Apple product.  (My purchase of an Apple IIe computer back in 1982 doesn’t count, because it was the only PC available at the time, and I only used it for 6 months before dumping it for an IBM PC.  But the modern Apple products like MacBook and iPhone?  Not one.)

Feel free to add your list of “never used or bought”, in Comments.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Look on the bright side:  your Monday might be sucking today:

…but at least you got to Monday.  Unlike these assholes:

 

Speaking of which, I bet Rep. Rashida Tlaib has a few sudden vacancies among her staff.

 

Okay, that’s enough of that fun stuff.  Back to our normal Monday fare:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just for the hell of it:

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Thoughts On #2

Elections, Freaks & Loonies, Psychos

After the second assassination attempt on Donald Trump, I’m led to ask a few questions.

If this was a serious attempt, why use an AK-47 (or SKS –there seems to be some confusion here*)?  I’m a huge fan of the old Commie rifles, but it’s common knowledge that even scoped, neither is a serious “sniper” rifle.  Hell, I wouldn’t use it past 200 yards, and I’m what could charitably called a “practiced” shooter with both the AK and SKS.

Which leads me to the next question.

Was this Routh guy just some deranged asswipe who wanted to kill Trump in principle, but like many nutcases, had little idea of how to accomplish such a thing?  (I’m kinda leaning towards this scenario, by the way, because serious shooters never let their gun barrel poke out into plain view.)

Also in my mind:  at what point, if ever, is the Secret Service going to get serious about protecting Trump?  Supposedly, some eagle-eyed agent spotted Routh’s rifle barrel sticking through the fence, and the SS agent then opened fire on his position (but not hitting him surprise surprise).  (Hell, at least this time, unlike in the previous attempt, they didn’t wait for the dickhead to start shooting before trying to suppress him.)  Frankly, I’m starting to have serious doubts about their capability to protect Trump — which leads to the final, and most disturbing question.

Is there actually a conspiracy to assassinate Trump?  I’m not going to get involved in who might be part of a conspiracy because I don’t know enough about the situation or the people who might be part of it.

Here’s what I do know:  if there’s a third assassination attempt on Donald Trump, then it will take a great deal to persuade me, in the words of Auric Goldfinger, that this is not an enemy action.  Once again, as to who the enemy is, I have no idea but many suspicions.

Right now, however, I have absolutely no doubt as to what is causing these deranged assholes like Ryan Routh and the late Thomas Crooks to act the way they are, and it can be found in the words of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris along with all their lickspittle colleagues in Congress and the media, words which describe Trump as being “a danger to democracy”, a “dictator”, and so on.  (And I’m not the only one who believes this.)

If you keep on watering the ground, in other words, it’s an absolute certainty that some shoots [sic] are going to spring up.

*In terms of details about this business, the “fog of war” is a clear blue sky by comparison.  See here for a series of contradictory statements.