So let’s dive into the waters of comedy for some relief…
And speaking of which, here are some ladies that I bet a lot of men would like to fertilize:
…although to be fair, Carol Vorderman is well past the fertilizing stage. Her factory floor has long since turned into a pleasure palace, as my friend Patterson used to say.
So finish your breakfast cocktail and get outta here.
This is a seriously, seriously good article by Soeren Kern at Gatestone. An excerpt:
On March 21, less than a month after Russia invaded Ukraine, European officials announced an ambitious plan for the EU to achieve “strategic autonomy” aimed at placing the 27-member bloc on equal footing with China and the United States. The implicit objective was to enable a “sovereign” EU to act independently of the United States and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) in matters of defense and security. That plan is now in shambles.
As the war has dragged on, European unity has collapsed and efforts to transform the European Union into a European superstate — a United States of Europe — have been exposed for what they are: delusions of grandeur.
It’s long, but if you only want to read one article today, this would be a good choice.
Okay, so as it’s New Wife’s last day Down Under, herewith the last of the Oz jokes:
Hey, that reminds me of an Alabama family reunion…
Of course, the new U.S. Army rifle is a German-designed clone of the M4, chambered for a cartridge that the Brits first suggested after WWII, so we have little room to criticize.
Okay, that one made me chuckle. Except, of course, for The Gun Thing.
And finally, Strylia’s wonderfully-nickamed (by OzBlogger Tim Blair) “helium-voiced songstress”, Kylie Minogue:
Now climb off that rock and go to work.
…in this case, three older women I still have impure thoughts about:
Caroline Quentin (64)
Never a great looker, but for some reason I always had a thing for her, starting with Jonathan Creek all the way through Blue Murder. And she’s never let her dumpy figure get in the way of her career, or self-esteem. My kinda gal.
Jean Smart (71)
Fell in love with her during the Designing Women days, never lost it. One of the sexiest voices of all time, and even though she’s from Seattle, she speaks Dixie with the best of them. And she inhabits every role she plays, ergo all those acting awards. The interesting thing is that she never really got to play the leading-lady femme-fatale romantic roles, probably because at 5’11”, she towers over most Hollywood actors, and casting directors are morons.
And last, but by no means least:
Rita Wilson (66)
Yeah, Tom Hanks’s old lady. Always had a slight thing for Greek chicks… and let’s not forget the freckled boob thing.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it’s Monday.
Oh well… might as well get on with it.
And speaking of sex positions, here are a couple of Chinese options:
The first one means: “Kamala Running For Office”, and the second: “Biden’s Gas Prices Helping Consumers Along”.
Now go out and loot a supermarket, or something.
JHC, now I’ve seen everything.
The left-wing Labour government of Jacinda Ardern has drafted proposals to levy taxes against farmers for the methane emissions produced by cows and sheep in what would be the world’s first green tax on livestock.
Had this not been the People’s Soviet of New Zealand, I’d have suspected that the Babylon Bee was giving us a giggle — but not even the Bee dreamed up this one.
On a more sinister note:
The move from the socialist government comes amid a wider effort by governments and globalist institutions to push people away from meat. The United Kingdom, under Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has also discussed levying border taxes on meat and dairy to, they claim, fight climate change.
Institutions such as the World Economic Forum, which has long advocated for the consumption of bugs, recently called for the widespread adoption of veganism and the eating of “climate beneficial foods” such as seaweed and algae.
Had I not just finished my morning breakfast of boerewors and eggs, I’d be tempted to cook a steak, or even one of these:
That can wait till tomorrow, I think. And one of New Wife’s exquisite steak ‘n mushroom pies for Sunday lunch or dinner.
I’m just doing my bit in the fight against Communism.