Category: Funny Stuff

Gold-Plated Invective

Funny Stuff, Music

From Ishmael, snarling away from his lair in the Shetlands:

I was up all night, between here and watching the telly. It was a wee small hours, musical interlude, on Channel Four, firstly a film of Liam Gallagher’s new ensemble, Beardy Eye, playing their new album in the Abbey Road studios. Liam is the truly neanderthal, younger brother from Oasis, a thick, grunting Manchester-Irish fuckpig, dumb as shit, you can hear the wind whistling between his ears, if he was any more stupid he’d have to be watered twice a week; makes Manchester United’s Wayne Potato look like a full Mensa meeting, does Liam. Nothing wrong with stupid. There’s lots of people like Liam, their oil just doesn’t reach the dipstick. He’s not as stupid as he looks, mind, because he looks like he was beaten with the Ugly stick and then ate it, ugly as fucking sin, is Liam Gallagher, ugly as a hatfull of arseholes; if your dog had a face like Liam’s, you’d shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards. Stupid, ugly and nasty, that’s Liam Gallagher, a truculent moron, charmless, graceless and entirely without discernible musical talent, a sign, in fact, of Ruin’s corrosion.

Now that’s scorn and dislike for you.  And it gets worse…

News Roundup

Funny Stuff

Few links today because not many of them are worth it.


…Biden claims to have an alibi.


…okay, I may have edited this one slightly.


…fuck me, they’re smuggling in Canadians now? 


…because they’ve solved all other crimes in the area, you see, and they have nothing better to do.


…as the Great Cultural-Mingling Experiment continues.


…and instead of firing these little shits, the Millennial bosses are caving.  I don’t know which group to despise more.


…in our continuing game of “guess the ethnicity of the shooter”, one Keuntae McElroy, 21.


…


…I’m sorry, I can’t type any more because my huge Schadenboner is getting on the way.

Thus, INSIGNIFICA:

   

And just to show that Halloween has a little upside:

   

If all that doesn’t scare you off to work, nothing will.  Although, that said, we’ll always have the classy Charlotte Hawkins and Susannah Reid:

 

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Ah yes…

So here we go, trying to get off the horns, and what better way to start than to utter these heartfelt words:

 

And speaking of drinking, this is an actual headline from a newspaper…


…YA THANK ????????

3 Inexplicable Things

3 Inexplicable Things

… that happen when you’re getting old and confused, and make a shopping list to help you remember why you’re out driving your car.

  1.  You read “Scope” on the list, and end up buying both the mouthwash AND that cute little 4x Leupold that’s on sale at Bass Pro.
  2.  There’s an item called “Gum” on the list.  Because you left your reading glasses at home and refuse to ask for help, you buy both Doublemint AND a .22 rifle at Academy, just to be on the safe side.
  3.  You see “Screwdriver” on the list, so you stop off at Lowe’s AND get arrested for DUI on the way home.

Don’t even ask me what happens when you read “Coke”…

This getting old thing ain’t for the faint of heart, lemme tell ya.