Time to go on vacation, on a beach somewhere in Europe or the Black Sea.
So… on with the funnies. Of course, some may be a little offensive to a few people.
And speaking of which:
I report, you decide.
Category: Funny Stuff
Not Aintree
We are all familiar with Train Smash Women Central (i.e. Liverpool’s racetrack for the Grand National — just search this site for “Aintree”), so it comes with some relief (mixed with regret) that Royal Ascot seems to have been wonderfully devoid of such creatures this year. Some examples:
Here’s the always-lovely Charlotte Hawkins:
…although of course, while exquisitely dressed, she had That Thing on her head — and there were likewise more than a few examples of regrettable millinery:
Which leads me to the rather cruel conclusion that the only upside to the Covid face-diaper is that it spares us from the sight of British Teeth.
Oh, and while looking admittedly dapper, comedian / musician Bill Bailey still holds the title of “He Who Is More In Need Of A Haircut Than Any White Man In The Entire World”.
Go there and see for yourself.
Monday Funnies
So let’s alleviate the pain a little with some unbalanced humor:
Okay, let’s go back to being just a little unhinged:
And finally, some person of unknown origin and provenance named Hayley Attwell:
Right: now put on a good front too, and go to work.
One More Reason Not To
Let’s just go through the catalogue of ways to die in Australia:
- dingoes which eat babies
- brown snakes
- funnel-web spiders
- sharks
- saltwater crocodiles
- Sydney traffic
- unchecked, uncontrollable bush fires
- box jellyfish
- blue-ringed octopus
- its cousin, the blue-lined octopus
- stonefish
- Australian paralysis tick
- and so many more
Now we can add mouse plagues to this list:
At night, the floors of sheds vanish beneath carpets of scampering mice. Ceilings come alive with the sounds of scratching. One family blamed mice chewing electrical wires for their house burning down.
Vast tracts of land in Australia’s New South Wales state are being threatened by a mouse plague that the state government describes as “absolutely unprecedented.” Just how many millions of rodents have infested the agricultural plains across the state is guesswork.
The plague is a cruel blow to farmers in Australia´s most populous state who have been battered by fires, floods and pandemic disruptions in recent years, only to face the new scourge of the introduced house mouse.
And of course, plagues of mice sometimes result in follow-up plagues of… you guessed it, snakes, which treat this as some kind of Roman orgy of gluttony, and not only gorge themselves but create still more snakes to take advantage of the bounty.
Predictably, this mouse plague is being met with customary Aussie ingenuity and just as predictably, activities like this are being greeted with horror by the Usual Suspects (almost all of whom, of course, live in areas untouched by the mouse plague):
The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) on Tuesday pleaded with farmers not to kill ‘curious animals’ that are ‘just looking for food to survive’.
‘They shouldn’t be robbed of that right because of the dangerous notion of human supremacy,’ PETA spokeswoman Aleesha Naxakis said.
“Human supremacy”, eh? We should also drop this bunch of rodents into drowning pits and fire barrels.
As a lad, I used to enjoy hunting for mice in the fields nearby our house, armed with my trusty Diana air rifle, but I think my best day only yielded a dozen or so. This Oz thing is something else altogether.
Monday Funnies
Day 3 without New Wife:
Ah well… time to lighten the mood.
Ditto:
…and ditto:
All right, enough of that filth. Let’s get wholesome:
…sorta.
And finally, for cartoon fans, here’s Wilmaaaaaa:
Speaking of redheads, here’s the right kind of Karen, Miss Gillan:
Now get to work. And remember:
Amazing Coincidence
First, Iran’s largest ship mysteriously catches fire and is destroyed, and then a large oil refinery near Teheran mysteriously catches fire.
[T]he head of the company in charge of the refinery reportedly told Iranian state TV the possibility of sabotage had been ruled out.
He put it down to a “technical” issue. No doubt, the same technical issue which blew up their frigate. And yeah, rather admit to a technical issue than saying it was sabotage.
If I were a paranoid Iranian mullah, however, I’d suspect that the Izzies have been up to their old tricks.
We’ll know that’s the case when President Braindead or his lickspittle State Department condemns the “accidents” for no apparent reason.