Monday Funnies

So to get out of that dreadful slide into the week, a little humor from the mind of a child:


Now for the grown-up stuff:

Still in the animal world:

…and he lost anyway.

Back to humans:


…probably the only defensible reason for having one.  (Thanks to Reader Quentin for sending me the pic.)


…in which case, they’re going to put up bleachers and sell tickets.

So stretch those limbs, gird your loins, and get to work.

Kinder, Gentler, Stupider

From Scottishland comes this drivel:

Scotland seeks to ban words like ‘addict’ and ‘alcoholic’ in plan to tackle drug deaths

…to be replaced by?

New guidance published online calls for other words such as “junkie”, “clean” and “substance abuse” to be shunned in favour of “person with problematic drug use”, “person who has stopped using drugs” and “substance use”, respectively.

Nothing like a change in terminology to address the “problem” of drug deaths.

What amuses me about this bureaucratic bowdlerism is that the Scots are renowned for being among the plainest-speaking people on the planet — beating out even Australians — with their often-withering commentary about people and life in general.  (Listen to any Billy Connolly rant, for example, to get a taste.)

Imagine Billy describing a junkie using the above terms…

Okay, That’s A Little Much

I am never envious of people who win the lottery, but this may force me to change that:

A woman has won £184million on her first ever EuroMillion lottery ticket after buying it “on a hunch”.

Even though it’s the first time she’s ever done it and won a tax-free $220 million payout thereby, while I have been buying lottery tickets since the dawn of time with nary a sniff of a win, that’s not the reason to hate her.  This, however:

The young woman – who wanted to remain anonymous – was presented with the prize at her home in Tahiti.

Seriously?  Tahiti?