Category: Funny Stuff

Now we have yet another way to make criminal acts still worse than the acts themselves:

Misogyny will now be recorded as a hate crime with police asked to identify whether offences are motivated by ‘hostility based on sex’

So it’s not just bad that you kill a woman;  calling her a “filthy bitch” as you stab her to death makes the crime that much more reprehensible.  But it gets better.

Police forces will be asked to record and identify any crimes of violence, including stalking and sexual offences, where the victim believed it to have been motivated by ‘hostility based on their sex’, a Home Office minister said.

Ummmm I thought that stalking, for instance, has always been solely motivated by hostility based on sex — unless he’s following her around to see who she’s bonking now that they’re no longer a couple, maybe?

Damn, it’s confusing.

Okay, let’s see if I’ve got the order of badness right.

Killing a Black person is bad;  killing him while calling him a filthy nigger is terrible, the worst, unforgivable.  (I think we can all agree that thanks to the Burn/Loot/Murder pressure group, that action is pretty much at the top of the Evil Hate List.)

Next, I would imagine that calling someone a fucking Paki / towelhead / Meskin / [insert brown-skinned ethnic group here]  as you shoot them in the face might be next in the pecking order.  (Not included:  Chinks, Japs, Flips, dot-head Indians and other East Asian types, who somehow seem to be excluded from this shitfest — probably because they’re not whining as loudly, and good for them.)

Now we come to wimmyns, as noted earlier.  (Killing one of the “protected” species of women — e.g.  a  Black woman — while denigrating her race would elevate the evil standard straight up to Group 1, of course.)  Anything at all that hints at some kind of animus towards a female victim (by a man — women are of course completely blameless in this little game, bless them) is now going to feel The Full Force Of The Law.  (Not quite sure where genital mutilation or honor killings fall in this order — my guess is they’re not included because delivering ad hoc  clitoridectomies seems to be the sole preserve of Black men — a protected species — and honor killings are okay because We Don’t Want To Offend Muslims Lest They Hate Us Even More. )

Jews — once the most protected species because Auschwitz — seem to have fallen down the table.  Killing a rabbi while calling him a filthy Jewboy probably has some cachet, even, among certain Muslim asshole groups e.g.  Al-Qaeda and/or Nation Of Islam.  But a Black man murdering a “Jew bastard” in Hymietown (thank you, Rev. Jesse Jackson) would probably be punished with a light slap on the wrist nowadays, because Jews are asking for it because they have too much money and control the Bilderbergers or some such.  And Jews don’t murder too many people of any group other than Jews, unless they’re Supremely Evil Mossad agents who kill Pore Ayrabs without rhyme or reason (I’m told).

Way at the bottom of the Evil Hate Scale are MPPs — Male Persons of Pallor — because everyone knows that we are the root cause of all the world’s problems e.g. through systemic racism and ingrained misogyny, therefore it’s open season on us and we can be murdered, raped, stalked or beaten up pretty much at will, by any of the above, without too much in the way of consequence.  Insults delivered during the murdering etc. are probably not necessary because, annoyingly, nobody has yet come up with a pejorative nickname that actually causes offense to MPPs — “cracker”, “honky”, “chauvinist pig” and the like are fairly innocuous, and are actually quite cute, really.  Just being a White man per se  is sufficient motive for blameless murder.

Frankly all the above reminds me of something… wait, what is it?

Oh yeah, now I remember.  It’s just like Apartheid South Africa, only with the groups inverted.