Category: Funny Stuff

Of Course They Are

Mocking Furriners

Let’s hear it for European Wokism:

More than 90 per cent of severely ill coronavirus patients in Germany have a ‘migrant background’, a leading doctor has said, prompting claims that the government is turning a blind eye to the issue to avoid igniting a race row.
…
‘There are parallel societies in our country. You can only put that right with proper outreach work in the mosques, but we’re not getting through. And that sucks,’ he said.

Guess those niqabs aren’t helping them much, huh?

Which leads to another interesting question:  Are face condoms worthless?

In related news, Texas will lose all the stupid Chinkvirus restrictions next Monday.  If I weren’t staying in a hotel, I’d be building a bonfire for all those stupid and, as it turns out, useless masks…

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Egads!  it’s Monday…


…as long as they’re low-fat (the nudists, not the waffles)…

So, to help you on your way into the week:

And when those sidebar ads just can’t be tolerated anymore:

I don’t care what you say, that’s pure genius (says the guy who has taped his laptop’s power cord into place, and covered his impossible-to-disable touchpad with thick cardboard).

 

And still on those nether regions:


…and as this piece is useless wifout pichurs:

Video Player

Never mess with South African chicks… they are as tough as old biltong, and they take shit from nobody.

Now try to get that picture out of your mind as you make the weekly supermarket trip.

Reconquista

Funny Stuff

From the fiendish Mr. Free Market:

At first, my reaction was pretty much the same as all my Murkin Readers:  “Hell, no!”

But then I started to think about it.

Lessee:  we’d lose New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia.

On balance, I’d be tempted to say that the Brits could have ’em all back (with the possible exceptions of Georgia and South Carolina, which we could trade maybe for California?) and frankly, we could solve a whole bunch of problems for the rest of us.

Granted, Virginia comprises Northern Virginia (Commies and bureaucrats) and Remaining Virginia (decent conservative folk), ditto North Carolina which outside Raleigh-Durham (Commies and academics) is likewise populated with decent conservatives.

I’m starting to have second thoughts about Georgia, after their shenanigans in the 2020 elections, and don’t talk to me about Pennsylvania…

Actually, given that the Brits love cities (London, Manchester, Liverpool etc.) I’d be willing just to hand over all 13 states’ cities (New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore etc.) and keep the countryside outside for ourselves.

Frankly, I’m not sure that the Brits could handle the country folk in any of the 13 states — just watching them trying to impose their gun laws in Western Pennsylvania and Georgia alone would be worth the price of admission.

Like I said, at first I was sorta-outraged;  but let’s be honest:  which of us wouldn’t be glad to see the back of New York City and Boston?

News Roundup (Out-Of-Date Version)

Bad News, Funny Stuff

Just in case you missed it earlier.


…good grief:  is there anything statins can’t do?  Finally, a drug I’ve been taking for years may actually be worth the money.  Although next week we’ll find that statins probably cause hemorrhagic fever, or something.


…oooh, no wonder she’s been called a “wild child”, the feisty lil’ thang.  I think I did all that, and more, before I turned 17 — unless, that is, she did all that before she was 14, in which case, I salute her.


…just your everyday over-achiever.  Key word:  Leeds.


…finally, some ACTUAL good news.


…uuuhhhh, sweetie, when you hang around with a guy who looks like this, I think you can expect at least some behavior that’s a little off the beaten path:


…given the cost of Woody The Wonder Drug, it would be cheaper just to buy a fresh bunch of flowers.


…you have to know how low the Beeb has sunk when the Chinks can call them out.


…yeah, if it’s total indifference you’re seeking from your partner in a sexual experience, stay at home.


…wherein we finally learn the Scandi spelling for “homeboy”.  (HBC, as always, looks like a bag lady).


…not to be too cynical or anything, but wouldn’t his post-murder treatment of her body be somewhat irrelevant at this point?  Anyway, look on the bright side:  he could have called her a “dirty nigger”, in which case he’d now be in serious trouble.


…and I’m sure the UK’s NHS is just waiting to give him the free surgery he needs, just as soon as they’ve discharged the very last Chinkvirus patient, in 2045.


…which would be nice, if there was anything there we actually wanted to see.