Worse Than That

At the ever-current Daily Mail, Sarah Vine asks the question:

Why are this season’s shoes hideously ugly and expensive?  If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s like the designers are laughing at us. 

You don’t know better, and they are laughing at you.

I have long held the opinion that most fashion designers, being homosexualists, really hate and despise women.  So they design ugly clothing and shoes, and over-charge for these foul things in the certain knowledge that brainless wealthy women and celebrities will buy them just to have the over-hyped brand name on their bodies.

So much do I despise this whole business that I can safely say this:  if I arrived to pick up a date and she was wearing any — and I mean any — of the shoes pictured in the article, I’d ask her to go back and change into something prettier and more flattering;  because if I know anything at all, it’s that there is no woman alive whose feet and legs would be flattered by wearing these excrescences.

And Mrs. Vine knows this, as her final words reveal:

But really, the truth is it’s laziness, greed and a lack of imagination. These kinds of styles are cheap and easy to mass-produce.
They require zero skill or craftsmanship.
And they appeal to the only people who seem to matter to designers these days — that is to say celebrities, influencers and pop stars who don’t care what they wear, so long as it gets them noticed.

Quite right.  Here are some classics:

 

 

   

Nothing to be ashamed of, in any of them.

Caution — Pineapples

Over the weekend, I learned something new.

Apparently, wearing a pineapple sign on your person may indicate to others that you’re an adherent of “The Lifestyle” — i.e. a swinger.  Thus, innocently wearing either of the shirts below could get you all sorts of unwelcome invitations.

 

or welcome invitations, perhaps.

Just be warned, it can get kinda busy in there:

 

Never done it myself, nor wanted to, really.  But some folks dig it, despite the obvious dangers.

Maybe just wear an unobtrusive little badge, if you’re that way inclined…?

“Dear George”

…if your wife (the only good thing ever to come out of Afghanistan, btw) is all dressed up to go out to a formal family dinner, the least you could do is put on a fucking tie.

It’s not like you don’t know how, as evidenced here:

Idiot.

Posh Cloves

I’ve had several requests for details on the Goodwood Revival dress code, with requests for things such as tweed / waxed cotton jackets or trousers (“pants” in Britspeak are undies).

If you want to go Amazon, just search for “Walker and Hawkes” under Men’s Clothing and pick out what you want. (Warning:  their sizes are Brit dimensions, i.e. smaller than our generous Murkin ones, so if for example you wear a U.S. X-Large, get their XXL.)

W&H are a cheaper choice than Barbour, who are filthy expensive, so there MAY be a quality / longwearing compromise involved, but so far I haven’t had any issues.

If like me you have an issue with woolen pants (itchy), then go with corduroy, such as the Orvis offering.

I have to get it all together before my trip Over There next year…

Horrible

I’ve never understood the appeal of the sulky-looking Oz actress Rebel Wilson, unless it was some kind of social compensation for her (over-)weight.  Still, I have to give it to the girl, who got sick of only being offered “fat-girl” second-fiddle movie roles and decided to lose some tonnage.  So she did, going from gargantuan to merely plump in the space of about a year (and good for her):

Of course, her reduced tonnage meant that Rebel could now choose from a wider pool of boyfriends (and arguably a better class thereof), which she did when she started banging Anheuser-Busch heir Jake Busch.  They’ve since apparently broken up, but before they did, they appeared in public together at some dress-up function, and this is why I put the “arguably” in front of “better class” earlier.  See if you can spot the sartorial faux pas  in the pic below:

Seems to me that if a girl goes through the grueling year-long grind of exercise and diet in order to make herself look more attractive, the least her boyfriend could do was not show up sockless and wearing bedroom slippers at a formal function.

Which is why the title of this post refers not to the pouty Oz chick, but to her ex-boyfriend.