Category: Guy Stuff

Things that make men go “Oooooh!”

Universal Appeal

Guy Stuff

Conversation between New Wife and her husband:

NW:  You remembered that we’re going to [male friend’s] birthday party tonight?
Me:  Uh huh.
NW:  What are you going to get him for his birthday present?
Me:  A decent pocket knife.
NW:  Oh come on.
Me:  What?
NW:  He probably doesn’t need another one.
Me:  Of course he does.  No man ever has enough knives.
NW:  But I’m sure he has lots already.
Me:  How many knives do you think I have?
NW:  Yes, but you’re strange.

Anyway, here’s what I got him, a Case Mini-Trapper with a “chestnut bone” grip:

It’s nothing fancy — I’m too poor to buy him a quality knife like an Al Mar — but would any of you turn up your nose at this little present?

Final thought from New Wife:

“But if you buy yourself another knife while you’re shopping, I’ll use it on you while you’re sleeping.”

Chicks…

Quick (unpaid) endorsement:  I got the knife at The Cutlery Collection at the Willowbrook Mall in Plano, and spent half an hour chatting with Karl, the owner.  If you live in the north Dallas / Plano / Frisco etc. area, buy all your knives from him in future.  He’s our kinda guy, but the Covidiocy nailed him, big time, and we can’t afford to lose businesses and people like him.

It goes without saying that if I had the money, I’d probably drop at least a grand there, so nice is his collection.

Conflicted

Good Stuff, Guy Stuff

I have to say that I’m on the side of the dad in this one:

Father, 41, ran over two 15-year-old boys who were ‘bullying his son’ before repeatedly driving over one of the boy’s legs

Here’s the thing:  as a parent, you’re often helpless when your child is being bullied — the “authorities” (school admin, police, whatever) are frequently helpless or indifferent to what’s happening to your child, of course you’re not allowed to confront the evil little shits responsible, and I’m all too familiar with that feeling of impotent rage that builds and builds when you’re rendered incapable of protecting your children.

So as I said, I’m already empathetic about this dad fucking up the bullies.  But what pushes me all the way over to a “Well done!” attitude is this:

The enraged father-of-three had hunted the pair down after his porch window was smashed by one of their group and they fled the scene.  After the group vandalised the family home that night, Connolly’s son chased after them and Connolly got into his car to look for him.

And finally, there’s this:

One of the boys was treated for fractures to his foot with metal plates inserted and skin taken from his thigh.  ‘There will be permanent scarring to the foot and the thigh as a result of the surgical procedure.  He was not able to bear weight on his foot for six weeks and will have permanently reduced mobility.’

Good.  The feral little fuck deserves to be reminded, daily, of why people shouldn’t be assholes — my only quibble is that every one of the group of bullies won’t suffer the same fate, because they should.

Our Hero Dad was originally charged with attempted murder (!!) but common sense prevailed and he’ll only be charged with assault etc.  Still, he’s facing some serious consequences.

I’d like to say that I wouldn’t have done what he did, but I’m not so sure.  Protecting your family and property is so deeply embedded in the male psyche — despite all efforts of Modern Woke Society to eradicate it — that sometimes we men have no choice in the matter.  Deplore it all you want, it’s an inescapable fact.

Fixed

Guy Stuff, The Gun Thing

Several people wrote to me — close to a dozen, in fact — all offering help in replacing the broken extractor from my battered but much-loved Inland M1 Carbine, and to all those people, please accept my sincerest thanks.

However, Longtime Reader Hank T. not only offered to replace the busted part, but to show me in person how simple a job it is — ha! — provided that one has the proper little G.I. tool which acts as a third hand.  As he lives less than an hour from my apartment, that meant not having to send parts to different parts of the Lower 48.  So yesterday I went over to his place, handed over said broken carbine, and within a half-hour the whole thing had been stripped, cleaned lubed and oh yes had received a new extractor.  It works!

I’m bending the truth a little here in describing the above as a half-hour job, because while the operation itself only  took about half an hour, I spent close to three hours in his workshop because he has all sorts of wonderful bangsticks in his possession.  And you know what that means, right?  I had to hold, and caress, and work the actions of said guns one by one because I’m a gun molester lover and the easiest way to make me purr is to hand me a beautiful gun with an exhortation to “just try that trigger”.

Drooling, lots of drooling, followed.  But clearly my orgasmic cries had disturbed Hank’s darling wife, who came to the workshop to see what all the fuss was about, and that added an hour onto the whole thing because a) she’s a darling and b) she has traveled to many of the places I have, so much experience-swapping took place.

I love to spend time with my Readers on a one-to-one basis, because while you’ve heard many of my stories and adventures on this back porch, I haven’t heard your stories and adventures, and I drink that stuff like I would a fine single malt.

And when I get a renewed gun out of it, as I did here, it’s all the finer.  I am the world’s worst gunsmith because I’m not mechanically-minded (rather the opposite), and I have no patience with inanimate objects — not your best qualities for a gunsmith, I think we can all agree — so I far prefer to hand my problem over to someone who knows what he’s doing and (as in this case) has the proper tools for the job.

So many thanks, Hank, and yes I absolutely want to spend some time at the range with you.  Let me know when you’re free.

Crossing America — 2022

Guy Stuff, The Gun Thing

Time to play this game again, as many people have written to ask for it.

The Challenge:  You have the opportunity to go back in time, arriving on the east coast of North America circa  1650 in the early spring, and your goal is to cross the North American continent, taking as much time as you need.  When / if you reach the Pacific coastline, you’ll be transported back to the present day.  Your equipment for this journey will be as follows (taken back in the time capsule with you):

— enough provisions for the first five days’ travel
— a backpack containing some clothing essentials
— a winter coat, raincoat and boots
— waterproof sleeping bag
— an axe
— a couple of knives, and a small sharpening stone
— a box of 1,000 “strike anywhere” waterproof matches
— a portable water filtration system
— a set of topographic maps of North America
— binoculars and a compass
— a current U.S. Army First Aid kit
— ONE long gun (shotgun or rifle) and 300 rounds of ammo (but no scope;  and no interchangeable-barrel rifles like a Thompson Center Encore or Blaser;  drillings are acceptable, but you still only get 300 rounds of ammo, total)
— ONE handgun (and 200 rounds)
— ONE rimfire gun (either a rifle or handgun, with 500 rounds).

Once there, you’ll be given a horse, a mule and a dog or two — but apart from that, you’re on your own.  Remember you’ll be traveling through deep woods, open prairie, desert and mountains.  You may encounter hostile Indian tribes and dangerous animals en route, which should be considered when you answer the following questions (and only these):

1.  What long gun would you take back in time with you?
2.  What handgun?
3.  What rimfire gun?

Unlike previous surveys, I’m not going to tabulate the answers;  just have at it in Comments.  Reasons need not be given, as the choices will pretty much speak for themselves.  If you must  justify your choices, keep it short (as I have with mine).

Oh, and one last thing:  you can’t keep your previous choices of firearm;  you must find new ones.  So in my case, for example, I can’t pick the 1896 Swedish Mauser / CZ Safari Magnum and Ruger Redhawk .357 revolver / Springfield 1911 from the last couple of times — so my own new choices for this year are below the fold. Read more

Both Desirable

Gratuitous Chick Pics, Toys

I see that Queen’s Gambit  hottie Anya Taylor-Joy is modeling Jaeger-LeCoultre watches now:

…but I have to say, her beauty is a strange one, because:

Anyway, here are a few more reference pics so you can make up your own mind:

And the more errr descriptive ones:

But that’s not really what I want to talk about here today.  Rather, I want to talk about Jaeger-LeCoultre watches, of which I’ve never owned a single one but I’d love to because they are just flat-out classy:

Of course, they do produce watches for more errr  modern tastes:

…and frankly, I think they’re both pig-ugly — aimed no doubt at the Russian Billionaire’s Son Set or else Arab sheiks, neither of which are known for their refined taste.

Hell, I’d take one of Jaeger’s second-hand and (very much-) older watches over either of those “modern” ones:

…just as I’d take Gina over Anya:

But you all knew that.

Rock, Meet Hard Place

Advice, Guy Stuff, Lifestyle

Via Reader Mike L. I get this bit of news:

In Missouri, where abortion is illegal, Planned Parenthood sees surge in vasectomies

Doesn’t surprise me.

I had mine done in 1997, some time after my 43rd birthday, and have never looked back.  Frankly, I think that any man who doesn’t have it done by age 45 is asking for trouble, whether or not abortion is legal.  (If your Missus has had her tubes tied or her factory is otherwise disabled, then fine — but be aware that as long as the little swimmers are still there, you can still become a Daddy regardless of the recipient thereof.  I shudder just at the thought.)

And let’s not forget that nowadays you can be stuck with child support payments even if you’re not the daddy — but having had your tubes tied, such an eventuality is highly unlikely if not impossible.

I must admit that back in the times when I did this kind of thing on an ad-hoc basis, it was a real comfort to know that the old production pole had been turned into a joystick.