The term of DGS seems to have been around since at least the early Noughties, referring to men holding their penises too hard while they have a wank.
The rule of thumb — don’t ask me how I know this — is that if your grip is strong enough to strangle your partner to death, you need to back off a little.
No need to thank me, it’s all part of the service etc. etc. Anyway:
I’m not helping, am I?
The other day New Wife and I were talking about something that affects her school greatly: peanut allergies among the kiddies — allergies which can be life-threatening.
I said to her: “When we were kids, nobody had a peanut allergy. Now it seems to be all over the place. When did this become so much of a problem, and why?”
Turns out the answer is quite simple: fucked-up science. Here’s the story:
The roots of this particular example of expert-inflicted mass suffering can be found in the early 1990s, when the existence of peanut allergies — still a very rare and mostly low-risk phenomenon at the time — first came to public notice. Their entry into public consciousness began with studies published by medical researchers. By the mid-1990s, however, major media outlets were running attention-grabbing stories of hospitalized children and terrified parents. The Great Parental Peanut Panic was on.
As fear and dread mounted, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), a professional association of tens of thousands of US pediatricians, felt compelled to tell parents how to prevent their children from becoming the latest victims. “There was just one problem: They didn’t know what precautions, if any, parents should take,” wrote then-Johns Hopkins surgeon and now-FDA Commissioner Marty Makary in his 2024 book, Blind Spots: When Medicine Gets It Wrong, and What It Means for Our Health.
Ignorance proved no obstacle. Lacking humility and seeking to bolster its reputation as an authoritative organization, the AAP in 2000 handed down definitive instructions: Parents should avoid feeding any peanut product to children under 3 years old who were believed to have a high risk of developing a peanut allergy; pregnant and lactating mothers were likewise cautioned against consuming peanuts.
The AAP noted that “the ability to determine which infants are at high risk is imperfect.” Indeed, simply having a relative with any kind of allergy could land a child or mother in the “high risk” category. Believing they were erring on the side of caution, pediatricians across the country started giving blanket instructions that children shouldn’t be fed any peanut food until age 3; pregnant and breastfeeding mothers were told to steer clear too.
So now we know when, and how. But what was this based upon?
What was the basis of the AAP’s pronouncement? The organization was simply parroting guidance that the UK Department of Health had put forth in 1998. Makary scoured that guidance for a scientific rationale, and found a declaration that mothers who eat peanuts were more likely to have children with allergies, with the claim attributed to a 1996 study. When he checked the study, however, he was shocked to find the data demonstrated no such correlation.
In fact, the way to prevent your kids from getting a peanut allergy is precisely the opposite to what these assholes insisted upon:
Fucking hell.
The next time someone suggests that we “trust the experts”, we should tell them to go and fuck themselves. And if bodies such as the AAP can’t be trusted to do the proper due diligence with the scientific data in hand, they need to be fired, sued and all the other ways that such negligence and outright error can be punished.
I was thinking “mass floggings”, but no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this.
And if you’re wondering how we can ascertain such incompetence for ourselves, look askance at any suggestion which “errs on the side of caution“. (See: Covid-19, reaction to.)
Ditto anything that comes from the UK Department of Health (i.e. those fine folks who brought you today’s NHS).
That’s a red flag, if ever there was one.
There was an 80s movie once in which a high-school girl “passed” as a boy (no details, they’re unnecessary), and in getting ready for the role, she was asking her younger brother for advice on acting like a boy, leading to this classic exchange:
“You’ll need to scratch your balls every so often.”
“Why?”
“Because they itch, and you gotta scratch them.”
“Maybe I’ll just be a guy whose balls don’t itch.”
“All men’s balls itch.”
…and it’s true. Now, thanks to some doctor bloke, we can perhaps see the reason why this is so:
Putting underpants on with bare feet could put millions at risk of a gruesome and embarrassing groin infection, a top doctor has warned.
So-called ‘crotch rot’ is caused by the fungus, tinea corporis, commonly known as ringworm, and appears as scaly, itchy and sometimes red skin.
And according to Dr Samuel Choudhury, a GP who specialises in skincare, the infection often spreads to the genital area via the feet. Dr Choudhury explained that underwear comes into contact with the fungal spores on the feet, and carries them up to the groin.
‘So this is what you need to do to avoid jock itch [crotch infection],’ he added.
‘Not wearing underwear is not the solution, but wearing your socks first is. It acts as a barrier so you contain the infection.’
I hate to say it, but this sounds quite plausible. I mean sure, it may not be true — just as any article in the Daily Mail generally isn’t — but it seems to be as good a reason for the Dreaded Itch as any other. It doesn’t seem to matter even if I’ve just had a shower; the old ‘nads always start itching at some point or another.
So are socks the solution? Even when I used to wear a suit as a working man, my balls still itched, for reasons best known to themselves.
The only problem, as I see it, comes for men who are like me: we only ever wear socks on high holy days and holidays, or when we put on winter- or cowboy boots. Most of the time I’m either going barefoot around the house, or wearing moccasins without socks when I’m going out. (Sheesh, I’m retired and I live in Texas — socks are just not part of the daily clothing requirements.)
For us Sockless Ones, is the answer then a lifetime doomed to frequent applications of Gold Bond powder? Gawd, I hope not: that stuff is horrible.
Readers of the Leech-Application persuasion may feel free to debate this in Comments, of course.
Back when Longtime Buddy Trevor and I were doing our first trip around the U.S. (1985), we stopped in a little store somewhere in New Hampshire — don’t remember which town, and probably a convenience store.
The cashier was a young guy in his late teens or early 20s, and he was a giant — I mean, well over 6’5″ and 300lbs.
Trevor (who has no problem with asking total strangers personal questions): “Wow, you’re a big dude. Did you ever play football at school?”
Kid: [headshake]
Trevor: “Why not?”
Kid: [in a high, childlike squeak]: “I got weak neethe.”
We collapsed with laughter when we got outside, because the high voice and lisp coming from this man-mountain was just too incongruous.
I thought of this story the other day at the Sooper-Seekrit Mailbox Place. You see, whereas it used to be quite close to my Plano apartment, now it’s a long drive over from Allen, and a long drive causes me all sorts of problems.
Many years ago, I was having problems with my knees. In retrospect, this condition was probably being caused by my being grossly overweight. Anyway, I complained to the doctor about it, who agreed with my diagnosis — the first time he ever used the immortal words: “If you don’t lose some weight, you’re going to die, you fat bastard.” Anyway, he sent me to get X-rays done, just to see what was going on in there.
The X-ray doc looked at the pics, and asked: “Are you in the flooring business? No? That’s interesting, because I normally see knees like this in older men who’ve been installing carpeting for years.”
As a result, my doctor gave me the letter to show the licensing folks that I qualified for cripple (okay, disabled) plates on my car, which I’ve had ever since.
When New Wife came over for the first time, she called me out as a fraud because I appeared in perfect health, belying my “cripple” status.
Well, maybe not.
You see, while my knees are a lot better now that I have lost some weight and am no longer a “Fat Bastard”, they still give me trouble if I’m immobile for longer than a few minutes.
So when I pull up and park in my Disabled parking spot, she always worries that people are going to think, “What’s wrong with him? He looks perfectly healthy!”
…until I get out of the car with my weak neethe, and hobble around like a bona fide cripple for those first few dozen steps (then they loosen up, and I can walk more or less normally). Which is what happens when I make the 30-minute drive to the Sooper-Seekrit Mail place and park outside. Those first steps… bloody hell.
By the way, my left knee is particularly troublesome because I tore it up while hunting in the Highlands of Scotland with Mr. Free Market back in 2017, and while it did get better, it occasionally locks up worse than the other one.
So I can’t play football either.
Chris Muir has recovered from his lurgy and will be back in the saddle tomorrow.
Here’s some good news:
Drugs used to treat cancer, diabetes and other chronic conditions are among 15 picked for negotiations that could result in lower prices for patients, the Department of Health and Human Services confirmed Friday.
The 15 drugs selected by HHS are all covered under Medicare Part D and represent the second round of negotiations between drug companies and the department, with a goal of lowering costs for Medicare patients.
And the good news:
Popular diabetes drugs Ozempic, Rybelsus and Wegovy, which are also used for weight loss are among the 15 announced Friday.
Hooray! Let me tell you, as one who has to take Ozempic for diabetes (at $60 per shot per week), this is welcome.
But wait! There’s more!
Negotiations between the government agency and drug companies will take place this year with any agreed upon price changes taking effect in 2027.
…by which time I could be dead. How nice. Even better:
Drug manufacturers can choose whether or not to enter negotiations with the government for a collective price for Medicare patients.
Any bets as to who will decline the offer?
