Category: Men & Women

Things that men and women do, sometimes to each other

Great Excuse

Men & Women, Pussification Parade

Imagine how this little story would have ended, had the sexes been reversed:

A wife who stabbed her husband in the chest for falling asleep while she was talking to him has been spared jail after her victim told the judge the attack was a ‘one-off’.

Canterbury Crown Court was told how Deborah Stallard carried out the attack after becoming ‘irritated’ when her husband Barrie had appeared to fall asleep when she began talking about her life problems.

Mr Stallard required emergency medical treatment for the stabbing, but asked the judge at a sentencing hearing on Friday not to put his wife behind bars — blaming the violent outburst on her menopausal symptoms.

Oh sure:  the always-reliable “menopause” defense.

Note that she didn’t just prick him with a knife;  she stabbed him hard enough to be hospitalized.  That’s some kind of “irritation”, you betcha.

Of course, nobody’s talking about how she could have used other, less-injurious methods — e.g. shaking or even (gasp!) slapping the guy awake — but because Teh Change is involved, Madame is spared the consequences of her actions.

And by the way:  Barrie?  You’re a fucking pussified twerp.

Occasionally, A Ray Of Sunshine

Men & Women

In these cynical times, where anyone can be snarky about anything, there comes an all-to-infrequent bit of good news or luck, call it what you will.  Here’s one example:

And it appears that this is exactly what happened.  I’m not going to excerpt anything from the article, because despite all the snark (“14-year age difference” etc.) what emerges is a rather touching story about a woman who had some incredibly bad luck, and then it all turned around for her.

Set aside your Cynic’s Spectacles, and read all about it.

By the way, Bev Turner is a total hottie and always has been.  I remember her from earlier times as a racing commentator.  Here she is now at 50, with her good luck charmer.

Good for her, and good for him.  I hope it works out.

 

Double Entry

Men & Women

No, this isn’t about bookkeeping.  It’s about a woman who has a condition known as “uterus didelphys”, which in layman’s [sic]  terms means she has a twofer in terms of her reproductive organs:  two uteruses, two sets of Fallopian tubes and yes, two vaginas.  (For the language puristi, note that I wrote “uteruses” and not “uteri”, or else I’d have had to write “vaginae” instead of “vaginas”.  I’m striving for consistency, here.)

Anyway, she uses her didelphism to justify the fact that while she has two boyfriends, she allows each one to penetrate only “their” specific vagina and therefore technically she is “not cheating” on them.  As she so charmingly puts it:

“They both have their own vagina, so they only have sex with that one.”

(As an aside, I am driven to wonder how she handles that separation when it comes to cunnilingus, and also whether each vagina also has its own little “man-in-the-boat”, but let’s not be diverted.)

Given how often womyns call foul on men who cheat on them by saying, “she means nothing to me, it’s only sex”, I am led to wonder whether our little strumpet is in love with one of her tame penises (not “penes”, see above) and is just using the other for sex;  or (more likely) whether she’s just using both for sex and/or getting an income from two streams, so to speak.

I report, you decide.

Or, if you’re like me, you can go and throw up now, while wondering — and not for the first time — when the fuck [sic]  topics like this became part of the public discourse.

Difficult Comparison

Men & Women

Here’s an interesting one:

A new survey of 6,000 respondents from the UK, France, Spain, Italy, Germany and the US has found which European language is considered the most attractive.

The previous poll, which was released in 2017, named French the sexiest language — but that was displaced by this new research.

This year’s survey showed that Italian is now rated as the world’s most attractive language.

Hmmm.  Of course this is subjective, but it’s quite fascinating as a thought exercise.  It’s also difficult to stage the question, because in many cases the respondents may not have actually had experience with hearing the languages spoken in sexy tones or in a sexy context.

One could try to imagine who would sound sexier over a romantic dinner, say Marion Cotillard vs. Monica Bellucci:

…but really, it’s almost impossible.  Now, which one of the above two has the sexier accent when speaking English?  Ooooh, even more difficult.  French is softer, but Italian is more passionate.

Try Françoise Hardy vs. Ornella Vanoni, then.  Even more difficult, and more so when you understand the lyrics — wistful vs. heartbroken.

Maybe a few more choices would help.  Catherine Deneuve vs. Sophia Loren?

How about Melanie Laurent vs. Francesca Dellara?

Okay. I don’t think any of this is helping.  I myself cannot decide between gentle and passionate, so I’m declaring a tie.