Category: Modernism

Aweful

Architecture, Modernism, Two-Minute Hate

When an article begins with:

“Recently I spent a couple of days in Dubai-on-Thames, formerly known as London”

…you just know you’re in for a rant of the kind you will often see on this back porch, only with (far) fewer Bad Words.  And indeed, Theodore has still more gems, like:

“That anyone capable of uttering such drivel should be appointed (with the prime minister’s approval!) to a position of such importance demonstrates that the country has long since passed the point of no return as far as its decay is concerned.”

…and my personal favorite (about another writer):

“In a sensible world, the writer of this would be charged with crimes against the English language and forbidden from ever writing again.”

Under the reign of World-Emperor Kim, such charges would be accompanied by public floggings, but let’s not get distracted here.

Also:

“On and on goes this saccharine semi-prayer that made me want to throw a brick through the window.”

Or put a .45 bullet into the miscreant writer, but that punishment would be reserved for the editors of various newspapers (you can guess their names).

Anyway, go ahead and read the whole article, because I’ve only touched on the vitriol.

The title of this post reverts to the original spelling of the word, i.e. something that inspires awe, and is being used sarcastically.

Screw Modernity

Modernism, Two-Minute Hate

Whenever I’m stuck to describe how I feel about something, I almost always resort to the classics, because every situation in modern times has occurred, sometimes often, in the past, and we’re just experiencing reruns.

I had to go to WalMart for an emergency purchase — they don’t sell gin, but they do sell tonic — and as I saw the usual tragic shoppers pawing through the worthless clothing, fall-apart utensils and cheap furniture, my mind wandered off to the tragedy of the current “pipeline” issues which are making people fearful that they won’t get the plastic toys for their kiddies in time for Xmas (not Christmas), or which are forcing people to wait an extra week for their must-have cheap kitchen appliances (avg lifetime:  months, not years), and it stirred within my memory this immortal poem, written in 1902:

Cargoes
by John Masefield

Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir,
Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine,
With a cargo of ivory,
And apes and peacocks,
Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine.

Stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus,
Dipping through the Tropics by the palm-green shores,
With a cargo of diamonds,
Emeralds, amythysts,
Topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores.

Dirty British coaster with a salt-caked smoke stack,
Butting through the Channel in the mad March days,
With a cargo of Tyne coal,
Road-rails, pig-lead,
Firewood, iron-ware, and cheap tin trays.

Substitute “rusty Chinese container ship” for the dirty British coaster, and you have the modern take on the earlier perspective, in a nutshell.

Then I heard on the radio some guy moaning about the fact that his car’s “management” chip had recently failed, thus rendering his Mercedes into an immobile, upholstered metal/plastic cube, and I thought longingly back to the days when a car’s management system was its driver, not some multi-pronged Chinese piece of silicon.

I fucking hate the modern world.

I think I’ll take the Mauser for a trip to the gun range.  No batteries to fail, no chips to malfunction, its technology tried and tested for over a hundred years.  Only its old and imperfect management system can screw things up.  And I prefer it that way.

Confederacy Of Awful

Architecture, Modernism

In the traditional sense, the word “awful” had the precise opposite of its meaning today;  something “awful” (or “awe-full”) created awe in the listener or viewer, rather than making one want to puke.

I suspect that “awe-full” was intended in the creation of this list.  But as one who as World Emperor would impose a retroactive global ban on any structure taller than twenty floors, the list simply makes me want to head for the barf bag.

As far as I’m concerned, of course, “Ten Best Skyscrapers” could just as easily be “Ten Best Snakebites”.  That this is an annual competition depresses me even more.  Here’s one example, taken at random:

And, to add insult to injury, the “Tour Alto” (6th place) is in Paris.

Kill them all.

Take That, Jews

Modernism, Seen On Campus, Wokism

Reading this wokist nonsense recently, I came across this fine sentiment:

PARC would also ban “culturally appropriative language,” such as the word “tribe,” which “was historically used in a dehumanizing way to equate indigenous people with savages.”

So… let’s hear it from my Jewish Readers*.  (When they’re done laughing.)

Were you triggered?  (And I don’t mean “Were you tempted to pick up a gun?”.)

*For Readers unfamiliar with the jargon, Jews traditionally refer to each other as “Tribe”.

Stomach, Sick To

Bad News, Modernism, Two-Minute Hate

This article, and the pathology it describes, fills me with all the negatives:  disgust, horror, loathing, hatred and the burning desire to lay about these people with a barbed-wire-wrapped cricket bat.

Which is surprising, because for the last twenty years or so, American girls have been raised from birth to be premium dating fodder, primed from the first whiff of puberty to be Available for Sex on Saturday Night. So why are they being ghosted in droves? Abandoned and left to die alone, clutching their pets and Warren for President signs?
You’d think these girls would be experts at snagging a mate. Years of sex ed, birth control pills, and permission to date early and often with no judgement from the grownups should have guaranteed they’d have suitors dangling from their every finger, lines outside the door, dates every night, so many engagement rings shoved under their noses they’d be blinded by the shimmering sight of all those diamonds nestled against black velvet.
What happened?

Read the whole article, but only if you have a strong stomach.

An entire generation — maybe even two — will have been corrupted almost beyond redemption.

Back To The Future

Architecture, Modernism

So it seems like our public buildings are no longer going to look like this:

…but rather, like this:

…all because of this:

Biden Purges Non-Partisan US Commission On Fine Arts In Unprecedented Move Against Popular Classical Architecture

The commission is an independent federal agency established by Congress that advises Congress and the White House on public (civic) architecture on federal lands and in the District of Columbia. Established in 1910, its seven members are chosen from “disciplines including art, architecture, landscape architecture, and urban design,” and are appointed by the president to serve four-year terms. No commission member has ever been asked to tender their resignation before their term was up.
The Trump administration stressed classical architecture, though traditionally the issue has been non-partisan and has included such champions as former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and former Democratic Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan.
While classical architecture remains the hands-down favorite of the American public, its opponents are powerful in academia, elite architecture circles, and, it seems, in the Biden White House. Biden revoked former President Donald Trump’s “Make America Beautiful Again” executive order early in his administration, with supporters claiming classical architecture is somehow connected to fascism.

Yup, those pesky Greeks, with their Corinthian columns and friezes, were all about fascism.

Even though the word “democracy” (an Ancient Greek institution) stems from the Greek word demos, meaning “crowd”.