Dear President Trump:
As much as I enjoy watching you shrink the federal government, make English the official language of the United States, and strive to help the American people escape the ravenous fangs of the Internal Revenue Service, there are a couple of things you’re also doing which are starting to get up my nose.
Greenland. Stop talking about annexing Greenland, or colonizing Greenland, or any of that nonsense. If Greenland is that important to our national security — and I’m willing to accept your arguments in that assertion — then negotiate with Greenland/Denmark/whoever to build a series of military bases there. They don’t have to be an actual state for this — we didn’t make Germany a state when we were faced with the USSR problem in post-WWII Europe, after all, we just put military bases Over There. It worked then, and it would work as well with the CCP problem now.
Canada. It may have been fun to bust Trudeau’s (minuscule) balls about making Canada the 51st state, but that schtick is just getting tiresome. The plain fact is that while some citizens of Alberta or Saskatchewan may love to be part of the U.S., trying to get Ontario to assimilate would be damn-near impossible because they’re a bunch of screaming socialists, and we have enough of those in California and the Pacific NW already. Let’s not even start talking about those Francophone morons in Quebec, who insist on the rest of Canada being bilingual — and would probably resist, with violence — any attempts to suppress the French language in government. The hell with them: they’re not worth the hassle, and that applies equally to the rest of Canada, especially the “First Nations” scam artists.
Your constant chatter about this silliness is getting counter-productive. Don’t forget that you were NOT elected to make us a fifty-two state nation; your electoral mandate is to end socialism in the existing fifty, to get government off our backs, to end the DEI foulness and to Make America Great Again.
America will not become greater by grabbing Canada and Greenland — in fact, the reverse is more likely — so quit talking about it, and don’t even think about doing it.
Respectfully, from one of your most ardent supporters,
