Technology – Page 3 – Splendid Isolation

Just Like Guns, Eh Bill?

July 1, 2024 Kim du Toit Technology

From Cloud-Cuckoo Land, where unicorns are a common sight:

Speaking in London this week, Bill Gates called AI a ‘wonderful’ technology that can save humans from climate change and disease.

But he warned that it needs to be used ‘by people with good intent’, as it could be used by criminals ‘engaged in cyber attacks or political interference’.

Yeah, for “A.I.” read guns — well, except that he’s a well-known gun control advocate (except when it comes to his security detail, probably). And the parallel doesn’t end there:

Gates, one of the 10 richest humans in the world, said: ‘The defence has to be smarter than the offence.’

He may be one of the richest, but he sure as hell isn’t one of the smartest. (Hell, he buys into the “climate change” bullshit — an infallible indicator of dumbassery right there.)

Stick to Windows, Bill. Gawd knows it needs help.

As for defense:

Net Loss

June 17, 2024 Kim du Toit Corporate Fuckery, Technology

The plan could not have been simpler. I had just signed an extension to my AT&T wi-fi/Internet plan, at a really good rate (with the most advantageous bandwidth / channel compatibility / cost compromise*), so I just wanted to continue the plan at my new address.

“Switch the exact same plan from #2109 Old Town to #714 New Town,” was my description of my situation.
“No problem at all,” saith AT&T, “because the previous tenant at #714 was an AT&T customer, and we show all the necessary equipment is already in place.”
“So I need to cancel my existing account at #2109 for June 12, and schedule an installation appointment for my new service on June 13?”
“Precisely. And you won’t need an installation appointment because the basic framework is already in place; we’ll just send you your new equipment — it will arrive on June 12 — and all you’ll have to do is plug it in, turn it on, and your new service will begin at 2:00pm on June 13.”

How excellent, thinks I — but you may recall my words prior to the move: “From long and bitter experience, I expect that despite all my careful planning, AT&T is somehow going to cock things up so I might be Internet-free for the next couple of days.”

Which they duly did. On June 11 I received a package from AT&T which contained only a power supply and two connecting cables. No router, but “Aha!” thinks I, “I’ll just be able to use my existing router; how convenient.”

So Thursday morning June 13 was spent moving the remaining furniture from #2109 to #714, which cost only a tad more than $500 because New Wife and I had already moved almost everything across during the two prior weeks, leaving only the stuff we couldn’t physically move ourselves. All was done long before midday, whereupon I set about plugging in the router and so on, to get wifi. I even delayed it a couple of hours until the promised 2:00pm activation time.

Except that when I eventually found the connection box, it was in the bedroom closet (hidden behind the door), and the box bore absolutely no relation to any of the equipment AT&T said was necessary to plug anything into.

So I called AT&T Customer WiFi service, after going through the usual phone-tree “press 1 for this and press 6 for that” which I bypassed simply by screaming “OPERATOR!” whenever thus prompted. Eventually I got though to a very nice young man named Kevin — a real Kevin from the Midwest and not some fake “Kevin” from Kolkata or Manila, which was nice. He looked up my situation and insisted that I should have no problem just plugging everything in. So I took photos of the existing box, and texted them to him.

For the first time, a crack started to show.

“Are you sure that’s the only box you have there?”
“Yup. If you want, I can do a brief tour of the entire apartment, and take pics of every single power outlet or tech point.”
“No no, that won’t be necessary. What router did we send you?”
“There wasn’t a router, any router,” and I showed him pics of not only the contents but also the package which had contained the cables.
“Oh, ummm it looks as though we’ll have to schedule an installation appointment for you.”
“For this afternoon?” I inquired casually.
“Ummm no, we have no available slots today,” but before I could begin the Bad Language, he added hastily, “but I can send you a technician tomorrow morning, between 8am and 12pm.”

Okay, I agreed to that, but warning him (remember, “This call may be monitored for training and quality control purposes” ) that if the techie didn’t show up, my next call would be to another provider, like Spectrum.

So Friday morning June 14 dawned, and precisely at 8:30am I got this call:

“Hi, this is the AT&T technician. I’m at your apartment complex, but I can’t find your apartment.”
“No problem; just drive around and I’ll wait outside to signal you in.”
“Okay, I’m outside Building 21” which was when I started to get a queasy feeling, because the new complex doesn’t have that many blocks. Then he added, “Shouldn’t #2109 be in that building?”
AT&T had sent the techie to my OLD address, not to the NEW one.
So I pointed that out to him, we shared a merry laugh, and I told him just to drive the 20-odd minutes to the new place, and all would be well.
“Let me call you back to confirm…” and the next call I got was: “I can’t do your installation, because it’s in a different area and we can’t cross over.”

Which is when the Bad Language started to flow.

“Look,” I said eventually, “I understand that this isn’t your fault — someone at Scheduling fucked up, not you — but it is my fucking problem, that problem being that I don’t have the wifi service I’m paying for. So tell me what comes next.”

Of course, I had to call some 800 number to get a new installation appointment, and by screaming (again) “OPERATOR!” as necessary, I got through to a Hispanic-sounding chap who was as helpful as could be, except that he was unable to simply cancel the wrong installation callout and substitute it with a new one, and could only create a new ticket with (of course) a much later installation time.

Which was when the Bad Language really started to flow. I refused to get off the line, and told him to get me a replacement techie, and if that techie arrived anytime after midday that day, I would be calling Spectrum and to hell with AT&T, their contract and their whole fucking inefficient operation.

One hour later, the techie arrived. She was a short, tough-looking lesbian named Christie with heavy boots, multiple tattoos and piercings, and she took charge of the whole situation.

Turns out that I was absolutely not at fault; everything AT&T had said about the installation was wrong, she’d need to install a whole new system in the closet (including a shelf to hold the router and controller), there were also some technical issues which would take a little extra time, but she’d take care of everything and I wasn’t to worry. I could sit down, have a cup of coffee and put the explosives away.

And for the first time in this whole encounter with AT&T, she was exactly right. Not only did she do all that stuff, she worked some magic whereby I could use my old router (same wifi address and password even), which also meant I didn’t have to send it back to AT&T.

And speaking of AT&T, they always send over a “customer service” guy towards the end of any service call, whose nominal job is to make sure everything has gone okay, but who “reviews” your account and tries to get you to change your phone provider / purchase a more comprehensive set of AT&T products.

This guy (David) took one look at what had happened (after I’d explained it all — minus the bad language, but with a great deal of clarity — and told him I had absolutely no intention of ending my 20-year+ relationship with T-Mobile).

He recommended that I downgrade my service package to one closer to my needs (see below) which would taraaa! save us $30 a month.

Which, I don’t have to tell you, means free milk and bread per month (at Bidenprices) for New Wife and myself. It all helps.

So AT&T earned some redemption from me, at least. But I still hate them.

*I use very little bandwidth, relatively speaking, and watch only a few channels on TV — EPL football and F1 Grand Prix, major golf tournaments and occasionally an oldie on Turner Classic Movies, plus the usual dreck on Amazon Prime, Netflix and sometimes a series on one of the other channels like Discovery+. As I have no interest in being “current”, I’m happy to wait until the New Hot Show gets old and withered, and can be had for free on one of the above, failing which I let it go without giving a damn.

I am a man of very simple needs, technologically speaking

As If I Needed Another

May 8, 2024 Kim du Toit Technology

…reason not to install the latest “upgrade” from Windoze: here it is.

Microsoft will soon begin pushing adverts into the Start Menu of Windows 11 with the inclusion of ‘recommended’ apps.

And why not? It’s where users are at their most vulnerable, so to speak: right at the beginning of the process. It’s like starting your car, but before the engine fires, you first have to listen to a 15-second advert for “recommended” tires, Bud Lite or windshield washer fluid. But of course, it’s being pushed as a helpful benefit:

Microsoft says the ads are aimed to enable users to find ‘some of the great apps that are available’.

That’s Microsoft all over: just trying to be helpful, as is someone who will pass you a bucket of lighter fluid instead of water when you’re trying to put out a house fire.

Although the update [KB5036980] is currently optional, it will soon roll out to all Windows devices within the coming weeks.

Of course it will — coercion is one of Microsoft’s major strengths. But:

Luckily, there is an easy way to turn off the pesky adverts with a simple change to your device settings.

Luckily. Until that feature too is disabled in future “updates”, depending on how much blast-back Microsoft gets from customers — not that they’ve ever paid much heed to that in the past, unless the storm of protest was overwhelming.

I have generally made it my personal policy to skip generations of Windows OS — I never used Win 9, for example, going from 8 to 10, and then only because someone I trusted not only chided me but actually forced me to make that change, having to do it himself because I flatly refused to do so. (Thanks, Dan.) And I was only able to have him do that because I was a house guest at the time. Unfortunately, he lives about two states away from me so I won’t be able to do that again this time.

And in any event, I’m going to get this fucking “feature” when I get my replacement PC* later in the year. Let’s hope there really is an “easy way” to turn the thing off, or else the laptop’s durability will be sorely tested as it slams into the opposite wall. (My new apartment doesn’t overlook the pool this time, so the laptop’s waterproofing will not be called upon.)

*In response to my earlier woes, several Readers sent me their older laptops to try to help me out — and thank you, every one — but I was never able to make them work for me, even with considerable input from Daughter, who is a pro at this kind of thing. Sadly, it’s a new one I’ll be getting, or else I’ll just go back to using my older Dell which, although slower than a carthorse on downers, is at least still capable of closing without needing engineering manipulation of the Rubik Cube degree.

Looking Into It

May 8, 2024 Kim du Toit Technology

From Airstrip One, home of the telescreen, comes this news:

A.I. speed cameras can detect how fast someone is travelling and send a report on the make, model and number plate of a vehicle to the police – but some Brits are concerned over privacy.

And of course, there’s always a willing number of the Terminally Supine who are only too pleased to lick those chains:

Louise Thomas, from Confused.com car insurance thinks it will help improve safety and protect both road users and pedestrians. “A.I. speed cameras will help catch drivers who break the law when behind the wheel, such as driving without wearing a seatbelt or for using their phone,” she said.

And no doubt, she would support compulsory implanting of microscopic ships into drivers’ brains, to cut the cost of the cameras and make surveillance of same much more “efficient”.

As for that “concern over the loss of privacy” thing: I hate to break it to you Brits, but for you that ship sailed so long ago, it’s already begun the return voyage.

Enjoy the taste of metal on your tongues.

Pointless Shit

April 22, 2024 Kim du Toit Marketing / Advertising, Modernism, Old Fartism, Technology

I’m always ranting about how the auto industry has overloaded basic transportation with evermore-complex technology (3 seat-position memory options? FFS), but of course, they’re not the only ones.

Here’s another example, seen via a link on Insty’s page:

What a load of bullshit. My old Keurig essentially has two options: size of cup, regular/strong brew, and that’s it. (“High Altitude Setting”? FFS #2)

Oh wait… I forgot mine’s warning light for “There’s No More Water In The Reservoir, You Idiot, Can’t You See Through The Clear Plastic?”

Let’s not forget the lie of “Brushed Silver” when it’s just shiny plastic.

And forgive me, but the whole point of a Keurig is that you can make a cuppa quickly without waiting for the water to boil, so the “Auto On/Off” switch is the work of Satan. (Yeah, “saves electricity” blah blah blah… fuck the whales.)

Needless to say, in the spirit of manufacturers everywhere, my model Keurig is no longer available; so when it finally quits working, I’ll be forced to buy one of these multi-featured over-complex monstrosities at, of course, a price which is 40% more than I paid for mine.

Don’t even talk to me about the cost of replacing my ageing VW, or my soaring blood pressure will ensure that the Tiguan outlives its owner.