Category: Two-Minute Hate

Disgusting People

Stupid Time

Two-Minute Hate

If you’re wondering why this post appeared earlier (or later) than you expected, it’s because you didn’t set your clocks forward.

Words cannot describe my dislike for the foolishness known as “Daylight Savings Time” (or, as Drew Carey [?] once described it, “Making yourself taller by cutting off your head, then standing on it”).

All the crap justifications for its creation (in the U.S., anyway) have been proven to be either false or else unknowable. Power savings, crisper vegetables (!), greater outdoor recreation: whatever was promised, it didn’t — and doesn’t — happen.

The only people who truly benefit from DST are retailers, who discovered that “increased” daylight hours caused more people to go shopping. (And of course, when Americans go shopping, they don’t walk across the street to the corner haberdashery, oh no: they get in their cars and zoom off en masse to the mall. So much for reducing power consumption.) So the Chambers of Commerce, naturally enough, are all over this silliness because dollars.

For the rest of us, it’s just a huge PITA — especially if, like me, you have a whole bunch of analog mechanical clocks in the house — and under the reign of Emperor Kim, the banning of DST will follow immediately after the Obama / Clinton / Pelosi / [insert your person of choice here] executions.

The Brits, by the way, are shackled to DST because in Scotland, the inhabitants really need the “extra” hour of daylight lest they become still more depressed and kill themselves in still-greater numbers. (Mr. Free Market suggests that instead of adding an hour, we subtract one to hasten this self-elimination process, but he’s still irritated that the British Army didn’t get to “finish the job” at Culloden, so we can ignore his fevered rantings for once.)

It seems as though at least one person at The Smithsonian agrees with me, not that I seek or need validation. And if The Donald wants to guarantee my vote in 2020, he’ll put an end to this crap by signing an Executive Order decreeing that the Federal Government will no longer observe DST (which, by the way, as the Chief Executive he is empowered to do). Besides, as any fule kno, time is malleable anyway.

Ripples

Men & Women, Two-Minute Hate

As Loyal Readers know, I have little truck with the doings of the Kardashian coven and their assorted sperm providers, and just ignore stories of their immoral and foul doings.

But every so often a headline will catch my attention en passant, just as a door handle will occasionally catch your sleeve as you’re walking through a doorway (with much the similar degree of irritation, I should add), and one such thing happened to me over the weekend. Here’s the headline:

Kylie Jenner, 20, proudly poses in a thong just one month after giving birth to Stormi

…Kylie being the daughter of matriarch Kris Kardashian Jenner and one-time Olympic hero Bruce (now “Caitlyn”) Jenner, and “Stormi”, of course, being the illiterate invented name the twenty-year-old single mother chose to inflict on her illegitimate daughter. (Just think of all the questionable behaviors contained in that single sentence, and you have an idea of why I think the entire Kardashian-Jenner clan members are such a pox on society.)

And that’s what caught my attention. Regardless of all that immoral foolishness, at some point in time, Caitlyn Jenner is going to be introduced to this baby girl as “Grandpa”. The implications of this event on a young girl’s mind are unfathomable — although no doubt the introduction will be screened on the Kardashian attention-whores’ TV show so we’ll all be witness to the occasion.

Another little burr on my attention noted that Bruce / Caitlyn is all butt-hurt that “she” hasn’t been allowed to meet his / her grandchild yet. Quelle surprise.

And yes, folks: that is the sound of loud hoofbeats thundering in your ears at this moment.

#FuckYouGunFearingWussies

Pussification Parade, The Gun Thing, Two-Minute Hate

So it looks as though a whole bunch of companies are running away like little girls from being affiliated with the National Rifle Association. Well, screw them all, the gutless pussies; it’s nice to have the discounts and such, but I can live without them.

What I can’t live without is my guns, which these pussified corporations seem to want to deprive me of, or at least they don’t want to associate themselves with the gun owners’ representative organization because they’re afraid of GFW pressure or something. Well, assholes, it cuts both ways.

Which is why I rejoined the NRA last Friday, after a long absence (explanation some other time).

And I don’t have too much to do with most of the companies on the list — but starting immediately, I won’t be renting cars from Avis, Dollar, Budget, Enterprise, Alamo, or National anymore (I kissed good-bye to Hertz over a decade ago, after being a #1 Gold cardholder for most of my corporate life, because they fucked me on an insurance claim). Looks like my future business will have to go to Ace, as they aren’t part of the Hertz / Avis / Enterprise oligopoly.

And if you’re moving house, you may want to strike North American Van Lines and Allied Van Lines from your list.

Here’s a comprehensive list of these corporate assholes, for your consideration. (Note the Wyndham Hotel group and all its subsidiaries — sheesh, if ever there’s a cogent antitrust argument against mergers and takeovers, this is it.)

Now, before I do anything stupid: I see that Symantec (Norton Anti-Virus) has joined The Movement [/Casablanca]. Anyone have any thoughts on replacing them with McAfee or some other (non-Russian) security system? All experiences and / or recommendations are welcome.

And as for First National Bank of Omaha: a big fat hearty “FUCK YOU”, you pissant Midwest moneylenders. (I don’t have one of their credit cards or a banking account with them, but now the likelihood of me ever applying for either of them is a stone-cold zero.)

I don’t fly United or Delta anyway because they’re even bigger assholes than American. But they’ll have to have the cheapest fares, and I mean by a LONG way, before I’ll consider using them again. (Yeah, I can be bought — but my sellout is tempered by the fact that they wouldn’t be making any profit off a severely-discounted fare.)

And the AARP is never going to see my business either, because they too are a bunch of insurance-peddling hoplophobes. This, too.

I’m not going to tell you folks how to live your lives. But this is my response to all this emotional GFW nonsense. Gun-owners’ boycotts might not hurt these corporate cocksuckers too much — there are over one hundred million of us, which in the normal course of events would surely give some cause for alarm, but clearly not — but I sure as hell am not going to support these corporate cowards by giving them any of my business.

So join me, if you wish. Oh, and speaking of joining: should you too want to join / rejoin the NRA as a protest too, there’s a handy little link over on the right in my blogroll. This would be as good a time as any.

One last thought:  it’s not like I need any more, but in the very near future I’m going to dedicate some of my meager earnings towards buying myself a new semi-auto rifle — maybe even an(other) “assault-rifle” type, just because all these pricks want to ban them. Details to follow.

Lastly, from Tami Keel:

If they only knew…

No Surprise

Politics, Two-Minute Hate

So it turns out that a current Brit politician, the scumbag socialist Jeremy Corbyn, was once in the pay of the Communists. As a member of Parliament, the traitorous bastard is supposed to have passed on State secrets to the Commies in exchange for cash, according to the Commie spy who enlisted and paid him (as well as a couple other Labour MPs, by the way).

Needless to say, this revelation has been met with indifference and silence by his fellow-travelers in the BBC.

Both the above, of course, would be familiar to Older Readers who will recall that we had the same situation Over Here when it came to light that Sen. Ted “Swimmer & Traitor” Kennedy had actively been in contact with the Soviets, working to undermine then-President Reagan’s policies — a revelation that was largely ignored by his Commie fellow-travelers in the mainstream media as well.

Were it to be discovered that Republican Senator Bob Dole (for example) had been in similar cahoots with, oh, say ChilePres Pinochet, our ears would still be ringing from the screaming from the Left and Dole would no doubt have been imprisoned.

But selling out to the Commies? Yawn.

As always, my suggestion is simple. In the good old days, traitors were hanged, drawn and quartered. As we now live in a (supposedly) more civilized age, I’ll agree to forego the drawing and quartering, with regret, and just go with the hanging, thus:

Enter The Food Nannies

Food & Drink, Two-Minute Hate

Here we go again:

Britain is set to be put on a nationwide diet from March this year as public health officials impose new calorie caps.
Lunches and dinners are to be cut to 600 calories at fast food outlets and on ready meal shelves at supermarkets, in new guidelines from Public Health England (PHE).
Breakfast portions will be cut down to 400 calories as the government aims to stop Britons overeating and combat high obesity rates.

FFS; is there no area of our lives that is exempt from this busybody we-know-what’s-best-for-you bullshit? (My advice: if the nu-meal seems inadequate, buy two instead of one. That will do two things: stick it in their eye, and end your stomach’s growling.)

But it gets worse, O My Readers. From the same article:

A separate study by researchers at Oxford University also found that current alcohol guidelines may be too generous.

As one of my heroes once put it:

As any fule kno, I’m on a diet at the moment. But when I see shit like this, I want to go to a pub, eat a double portion of fish ‘n chips, and wash it down with five pints of Wadworth 6x. Here’s the starter:

Or, if this bullshit ever comes to this side of The Pond, take down a couple-three family buckets of KFC (Original Recipe) with a dozen Classic Cokes.

Now, this wouldn’t be a pretty sight. But it would be a lot prettier than the alternative:

Stupid Idea

Two-Minute Hate

January is a crappy month, especially in the northern hemisphere: cold, dark skies, short days, no Christmas holidays to look forward to, and (in the U.S.) the prospect of filing your tax return.

Which makes me wonder why people would want to make the month even more miserable by suggesting that this would be a good time to cut out those things which can alleviate our misery (“Veganuary”, how cute; and “Dry January”). What infamy is this? As if January isn’t shitty enough, now we have to add itching powder to the hairshirt by giving up meat and beer?

It’s only 7am as I write this, yet I feel a nagging need for steak ‘n (butter-fried) eggs, washed down with a Bloody Mary — and we’re not even halfway through the month.

I am getting so sick of people trying to change our lifestyle and behavior “for your own good” — it’s like living with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chuck Schumer in your house, with no earplugs to drown out their endless nagging do-goodery.

Leave me the fuck alone.