News Roundup

And if that doesn’t get you going, then this will:


...so much for all those panicky headlines, then.


...you mean that old rascal’s been playing the fool with us — or rather, the stupid Greens — all this time?  And speaking of the sun:


...considering how often the solar power plants have failed during icy winters and scorching summers (i.e. when electric power is most needed), it’s not unreasonable.  And if building those backup plants costs too much and takes too long, they can blame the Greens who put up all those barriers in the first place.
#ServesEmRight #JustDeserts

In Political News:


...and the other 20% want him executed. Compare and contrast to conservatives, 100% of whom want all Commies sent to the gulag or gallows. (Okay, I made that last bit up — but I bet I’m not far off).

Democrat Socialists FAFO:
...give ’em the same treatment that the J6 folks got.

“Reverend” Al Sharpton Doesn’t Like White Political Refugees
...quelle surprise.
#RacistCocksucker

In Education News:


...because DEIJust think of using those all those millions to partially settle some student loans… [ducks]

From the Pentagon Papers:


...it’s a start.  Later, we can talk about taking women out of combat units and Navy ships.

Latest from Business News:


...it’s not so much their crappy sludge that’s a problem (we all still loves us our Frosted Flakes, after all);  it’s the fact that their crappy sludge now costs $10 a box.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:


Finally, from the front lines of LGBTOSTFU:


...yeah, that worked SO well for Bud Lite.

And diving into the dumpster of unlinked  

 

And as we drive headlong down :


...no shit?  Well then, have a few impure thoughts on me:

There ya go… ya filthy animals.

Simple Question, Answered

Whenever I’m asked stupid questions involving fights or struggles against Nature, it’s always on the scale of “What chance does a man have against a Great White shark?”

…to which my reply is generally along the lines of:  “Pretty good, provided that the man is sitting in a sturdy boat with a few hand grenades.”

So it is with today’s stupid question“How many men would it take to win a fight against a gorilla?”

Answer:  “One, holding a 12ga. shotgun loaded with 00 buckshot.”

Let’s just remember that when it comes to this kind of thing, Man is unquestionably at the top of the food chain.  And the reason this is so is that we don’t fight with our relatively-weak bare hands or with our pathetic little teeth;  we fight with our brains, and those brains are what enabled us to create, build and use things like hand grenades and shotguns.

Give that shotgun to a gorilla, and he’d only swing it like a club — if that.

Just as we are like candy to a lion with its teeth and claws, they are like candy to us with our A-10 Warthog.

Bite on that, Fluffy.

Hell, let’s take that one step further.  If there was to be combat between a lion and a woman

…and she didn’t even need an A-10.

Influx

Alert Reader Pete D. sends me this report*:

First Afrikaners granted refugee status due to arrive in U.S.

The U.S. government has officially granted 54 Afrikaans South Africans, white descendants of mainly Dutch colonizers, refugee status and they are expected to land in the U.S. on Monday May 12, three sources with knowledge of the matter have told NPR.

(Note the little “colonizers” snark — it’s NPR, after all.)

And further down:

States that have agreed to take in the South Africans include:  Alabama, California, Idaho, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, New York, Nevada, North Carolina and Iowa.

Not Texas, probably because we have enough / too many Seffricans here already.  And California and New York?  Wait till our newly-minted immigrants who choose those locations try to buy themselves a gun.  (Hint: it’s more difficult than in Seffrica.)

And lastly:

The UN’s International Organization for Migration had refused to be involved in the process.

Of course they would.  These refugees are whities;  only darkies qualify to be refugees because slavery (or something).

Anyway:  Welkom by die States, julle.  Veels geluk.


*Pete, buddy:  WTF are you doing reading NPR?

Thieves

I had to chuckle at this little piece of advice for dealing with this particular issue:

There’s even a handy-dandy little list:

It is, as they say, to laugh.

As I’ve stated so often before, seagulls don’t respond to defensive postures such as the above:  the little fuckers will sometimes attack you for fun, not just for food.  So ignore all the above, non-violent measures.

As with most animals, the best defense is attack.  Lo and behold Kim’s Ultimate Anti-Seagull Device (which I describe more fully here):

Instructions for use:  if you’re going into seagull territory — which is just about anywhere there’s a large body of water — carry one of these.  When you see one of these airborne rats approaching, wait till it’s in range, then take a full swing at it;  don’t just bat it away, you want to inflict massive pain on the fucker or else it will just come back for more.  In my experience, you’ll only have to do this twice or three times before the other airborne rats will get the message and leave you alone.  The goal is to leave the bird flailing around on the ground with broken limbs (wings, legs or neck), making an awful ruckus that will frighten others of its ilk away.

Don’t get put off by the anguished squeals of any bird-lovers in the scene because they’re irrelevant to your problem.  Just whale away at these rodents (the birds, not the bird-lovers, but be my guest).  Then relax and enjoy your snack.  When you leave the area, feel free to kick the carcasses out of the way.

Remember:  a tennis racquet is sports equipment, not a weapon.  Just remember to rinse the blood and feathers off the thing when you get home.

New Mouthpiece

I see that following the resounding flop of the ad campaign for their new line, Jaguar is now looking for a new advertising agency.

It comes after the company announced plans to shift to electric vehicles with a bizarre new advertisement featuring brightly dressed models but no cars.

The group also abandoned its iconic ‘growler’ cat badge, replacing it with a curved geometric J and L symbol.

Defending the campaign late last year, JLR’s Managing Director Rawdon Glover told the Financial Times: ‘If we play in the same way that everybody else does, we’ll just get drowned out.’

Well, maybe so.  But in every good ad campaign — especially so for cars — the product has to come front and center, especially when it comes to their features.

Back to Jaguar:  while everyone’s laughing their asses off about this latest development — me included — allow me to remind you all about the Great Advertising Truism:

“Behind every shitty ad and stupid ad campaign lies a client’s signature.”

Which means that not only the ad agency should be fired, but also the client executive (CEO Rawdon Glover) whose signature okayed the campaign.

My suggestion to the new guys:  ditch the stupid new gay logo and go back to the old snarling jaguar.

And for the clients (headed by a new CEO): go back to making cars that people might actually want to drive — you know, that “heritage” thing.  Hire someone like Gordon Murray or Pininfarina to design it, if you can’t find a decent designer already working at JLR.

I suspect, however, that they’ll be doing neither;  in which case, let’s everyone wave bye-bye to Jaguar.