Heard it in the supermarket, haven’t been able to shake it. Who do you love, baby?
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Health News
Feeling shit: yesterday I suddenly got a sore throat, sinus drainage/blockage (I don’t know how they can coexist, either), and the beginning of a hacking cough.
Same as I had a few months ago. Anyway, when I called my GP yesterday to see if he could just send a Zithromycin Rx to CVS, he insisted that I come in to see him. Couldn’t fit me in yesterday — it was after 5pm, to be honest — but I do have an 8.30 appointment this morning.
My Brit Readers (and anyone else living under a nationalized healthcare system) are allowed to feel envious.
Anyway…
Till later.
Update: Just got back from the above. No big deal, not a bronchial issue, no Covid, just a nasty upper-respiratory tract infection. Z-pack, and I’ll be better by Thursday.
To be honest, I felt a little foolish at having wasted his time for so trivial a thing. Still, his N.P. is a total doll, so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time.
Old Times There Am Not Forgotten
Here’s a little bit of rank injustice:
Harrods could be forced to pay out tens of millions of pounds to female employees sexually abused by Mohamed Al-Fayed because of ‘systemic wrongdoing’ at store, lawyers say.
The Egypytian businessman has been accused of raping five women during his 25-year tenure at the luxury retail outlet, with at least 15 other women saying they were sexually assaulted by him.
Lawyers have warned that Al-Fayed’s offences could range beyond the allegations made in a BBC documentary, with his other former business interests, including Fulham Football Club, now under scrutiny.
Okay, you may be asking about this “systemic wrongdoing” — i.e. that Harrods had a system in place which either encouraged or else allowed the old goat to molest his female emplyees.
Of course, Harrods doesn’t or didn’t have any such system. But the lawyers have to argue that they did, because:
Al Fayed, who died last year aged 94…
They can’t very well go after him now, you see, so they have to go after the company because, well, because that’s where the bucks are. And it’s really conveeeeenient that the old fart isn’t around to refute the claims now crawling, like their claimants, from the woodwork.
In the reign of Emperor Kim, of course, bullshit like this would be stopped in its tracks because, duh, it’s bullshit. And of course some feeeemales stand to get a lot of money out of these unsubstantiated accusations, as do their lawyers, which is how this creative nonsense ever came to see the light of day.
‘It seems from the information received from those who have contacted us, and the information brought to light in the BBC documentary, that the abuse of young women at Harrods should properly be described as human sex trafficking,’ said Richard Meeran, a partner at the London law firm Leigh Day.
Ah yes, the old bogeyman “sex trafficking” — where would we be without this handy little catch-all expression? And the BBC… hardly an unimpeachable source.
‘This is because the recruitment of young women for the alleged purpose of sexual exploitation entailed and depended on systemic wrongdoing by the company, its senior managers and security personnel, as well as the ultimate perpetrator.’
So these women were hired for the express purpose of being the Harrods owner’s sex toys? And all the senior management of Harrods were aware of this and did nothing to stop it?
And it’s not just one woman, but a hundred and fifty (always be suspicious of nice round numbers). And all of them have kept their mouths shut for all this time, because…?
I report you decide; but I’ve decided that this — all of it — is arrant bullshit and an attempt to wring money from a wealthy company, just because its erstwhile owner and the “alleged’ perpetrator is dead and can’t defend himself.
Just to be clear on this: Al Fayed probably was a loathsome old bastard who deserved a good hard flogging / ball-kicking for oh-so many reasons. But even given that, it doesn’t mean that this pussymail can be justified.
News Roundup
…which is probably the best word to describe this first news item:
...”how am I going to replace half my staffers now?”
...I would have thought the CIA would be too busy planning to do that back here after November.
...keyword: Irish.
From the Hearts Of Stone Department:
...okay, quit that unseemly giggling.
...”that’s a strange noise.”
In news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...like everywhere else.
...”wait, you mean we can no longer just get rid of our problem by shipping them over to you?”
From the Department of Education:
...but but but that’s just Show & Tell in Sex Ed. Also, keyword: Florida.
And in Medical News:
...principal among them: pics of Lizzo, Hillary Clinton or Gemma Collins.
...you mean that salad tongs aren’t approved?
...when demand exceeds supply.
...all of which can be summed up with:
From the trenches of the Sex Wars:
...repeat after me: “Sex, sandwiches and silence.” And if we can have only one, then: silence.
Now for unbridled but unlinked 
…hate to say it, Tarty, but yer just not that important, compared to Hillary Clinton.
...well, we haven’t seen Phil’s little girl for a while, so why not?
And that’s all the news fit to (un-)cover.
Today’s Earworm
Am I the only one who wakes up wondering what Mozart would have thought of Traffic’s Glad?
I am? Oh well, carry on then.
Differences
I found this old thing while rummaging around in my archives. It was behind the nude pics of Dita Von Teese.
Men Are Just Happier People!
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station rest room because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress purchase: $5,000. Tux rental: $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
You can sleep with 50 women a year and not be called a slut.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades, and when you get much older, your hair ceases to be a problem altogether. You only have to shave your face and neck, and even that’s optional. You likewise have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One wallet – one color for all seasons.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. At Walgreens.
NICKNAMES. If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fuckhead, Shitbrain, and Knobhead.
EATING OUT. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $31.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the phone calculators.
MONEY. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but “it’s on sale”.
BATHROOMS. The average man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing, forever.
SECOND THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. No man can ever be a perfect husband. The best we can ever be is “adequate”.
Feel free to add to the list in Comments.