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Crap List Part Zwei

Drive Time, Lists

In keeping with last Saturday’s Crap List / Top 25 British cars, here’s my attempt at the top 25 greatest German cars of all time.

1) 1947-1982 VW Beetle:  Yeah, call it “Hitler’s Revenge” or “Porsche’s Abomination” or whatever, the Beetle sold in the jillions in almost every single country in the world — definitely the “People’s Car” in any language — and even today it has the ability to get a smile whenever it’s seen on the road.  Pretty much every model was iconic, from 1947 till the last variant made some sixty-five years later.

2) 1955 Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing:  I’m not sure that anyone can argue with this selection;  easily one of the greatest sports cars of the 1950s (and perhaps of all time), it won the Millie Miglia several times, and still commands top dollar in any sports car collection.

3) 1956 Mercedes W186 300 S Coupé (“SC”):  When the company’s top executive says that the engineers have to build him a car that can run all day on the autobahn at top speed without breaking down, but must still be luxurious… you get the 300 S line, and the two-door coupé was the best-looking.

4) 1966 Porsche 911 S:  Quite possibly the greatest sports car model ever made.  Its shape was (and still is) iconic, and despite the rear-engined layout being a nightmare for handling, it’s a wonderful car.  Alone among “performance” (as opposed to “touring”) sports cars, the average 911 has been driven more miles than any other brand, which says everything about its reliability and fun-to-drive ethos.  Second only to the Beetle in terms of longevity (September of this year will mark its sixtieth consecutive year of production).

5) 1976 VW Golf:  Speaking of Beetles:  you’re tasked with designing the Beetle’s successor and now, some 35 million cars later, it’s still selling like hot cakes.  And speaking of “hot”, its GTI variant set the standard for the “hot hatch” concept across all manufacturers.  Oh, and you can till fit a grand piano in the back. [some hyperbole there]

So that’s my top 5.  Let’s look at the rest.

6) 1958 BMW 507: Definitely one of the best-looking sports cars ever made (and certainly the best-looking BMW sports car ever made), the 507 gained infamy as the car that nearly bankrupted BMW.  In today’s world, the 507 would be a rival to any other sports car;  in the late 1950s, its stratospheric price — higher than any Ferrari — was death to sales.

7) 1979 Audi Quattro:  Took full-time four-wheel drive out of off-road and into passenger cars.  Also killed the rally car scene for other manufacturers until they too went 4WD.

8) 1964 Mercedes 230 SL “Pagoda”:  The shape was different from anything out there, and it lasted through two engine upgrades (250, 280) for the next six years.  Then there’s the fact that the pagoda top was removable — and its removal made the 230 SL a sexy little drop-top instead of just a handsome mini-coupé.

9) 1952 Porsche 356:  Rather underpowered at first, the 356 added “reliability” to the “fun” of the British sports cars of the time and still has a place in the hearts of all Porsche fans.

10) 1969 Mercedes 280 SEL 6.3:  If the base 280 SE was a good car (and it was), the blown-out 6.3-liter-engined W109 SEL monster was the ultimate wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Like its 50s-era 300 S parent, the 6.3 combined blistering speed, handling and luxury in a single model, and was the fastest saloon car in the world for many years.

11) 1938 BMW 328:  Even though the Nazis were forcing BMW to make aircraft engines for the coming little disturbance in 1939, the Bavarians still managed to create a little sportster that was the best of the breed until the late 1950s.

12) 1988 Porsche 959:   The world’s fastest street-legal production car when it was released, the 959 was also the most complex car of its time, the first to use several computers to manage the engine and stop the car from killing the driver (not always successfully).


13) 1976 BMW M3 E30:  Some 50 years since its introduction, the E30 still competes with all the modern cars, and wins.  The entire 3-series has been BMW’s most successful model, but the E30 is the best.

14) 1932 Horch 670 V12:  One of Mercedes’s principal competitors in the interwar years, the Horch set standards for all European luxury tourers.  (Apparently, Audi is planning on using the “Horch” name for its ultra-luxury competitor to the Mercedes Maybach line.)  And speaking of luxury:

15) 1936 Mercedes 540K:   …brought the concept of “much more than 100mph” into everyday car-speak forever.  The supercharged 5-liter engine was, for its time, the equivalent of a Saturn-V rocket.  It was the car that announced that its owner Had Arrived.

16) Audi R8:  With V10 power (or V8 for the wussies / cheapskates), it doesn’t matter that the R8 shares a platform with its cousin, the Lambo.  It means business, and it’s instantly recognizable.

17) 1936 Auto Union Wanderer W25:  Its nearest competitor would have come from England (the MG TA), but the mid-market Wanderer was more powerful, more reliable and cheaper.  And it looked (and still looks) fantastic.

18) 1959 Mercedes 190 SL:  When the 300SL proved to be too expensive and too powerful for the mass market, Mercedes toned everything down a bit, but went a little too far in the power department.  The smaller 190 SL was actually better looking than the Gullwing, but it was hopelessly underpowered by comparison.  So despite the price, the beautiful 190 SL’s sales were underwhelming.

19) 2011 Wiesman GT-3:  The German equivalent to Clarkson’s “a man in a shed called Ken”, and an answer to the question:  “What would a 1935 Bugatti Atlantic look like in the modern era?”

21) 1970 Opel GT:  Proof that even if you’re a division of General Motors (where good car designs go to die), you can still make a small, fun and beautiful sports car.

22) 1972 Mercedes G500:  Yeah, it started off as a .dotmil Bundeswehr  jeep, but its civilian incarnation is sublime.  It makes a statement, that statement being “Yes, I know it costs way too much, gets crap gas mileage, has the style quality (and aerodynamics) of two stacked bricks, and its earlier diesel engine had less power than a Pekinese — but I don’t care.”

23) 2010 Mercedes SLS AMG C197:  Any resemblances between the SLS and the 1950s 300 SL  are completely intentional.  Now add less weight and blistering pace…

24) 1938 Maybach SW 38:  Their engines powered almost all of the WWI German Luftstreitkräfte aircraft and airships, but after that they also made some cars before the little 1939-45 adventure (during which their engines powered almost every Wehrmacht tank).  The SW 38 model made Mercedes sit up and take notice, and MB later bought Maybach in 1960 to turn it into their upscale brand.

25) 1992 Porsche 928 GTS:  Porsche’s first entry into the “luxury family car” market started  in 1978 with a front-mounted (!) 4.7L V8, and ended in 1992 with an absolute rocket, powered by a 5.4L V8.  All the models had room for luggage, unlike any other Porsche before (and arguably since).

There are others, but these 25 are the greatest.

Same Here

Government Thugs, Rights, Surveillance Society

Tom Knighton has written an article which resonates with me, for obvious reasons:

By now, we’re all well aware of the Biden-era “Strategic Implementation Plan for Countering Domestic Terrorism,” which has some very troubling language in it.

As Just the News reported earlier on Tuesday, the criteria included buying guns, being a veteran, and what was termed as “‘xenophobic’ disinformation.”

I’m a veteran and gun owner, and I was pretty critical of China during the whole pandemic, at least on social media. Now, I’m curious as to whether my own government was monitoring my lawful activity simply because I wasn’t a raging leftist loon willing to toe the progressive party line on these issues.

Was I considered a threat to become a domestic terrorist?

Anyone see any parallels between Knighton and me?  The only difference between us is that I’m a veteran of another country’s army — but I’m still a veteran.  (As for the criticism of the foul ChiComs, and buying guns:  ipse dixit.)

I have no idea what is/was meant by “xenophobic disinformation”, but if it means saying that I heartily dislike furriners who creep illegally over our borders to take jobs away from U.S. citizens, commit other crimes, engage in espionage or otherwise try to undermine our country, then I’d have to plead nolo contendere*.

Knighton goes on:

I’m sure I could file a FOIA request and find out, and part of me is considering doing just that, but another part of me would rather not know.

I do have one hint that I may be on such a list if “undesirables”:  back in 2017 (that would have been under the Obama administration), I had the dreaded “SSSS” designation appear on one of my air tickets, but it was for one flight only (among several others in that year and the year following), and Obama had only been  in  out of power for a few months at that point.

I’m fairly sure  that I was “noted” by some government apparatchik during the latter years of his presidency, and if not then, I have absolutely no doubt that I was flagged during the Biden era.

This website is my only “online presence” (no Twatter, no Fecesbook, no Instagram and certainly no ChiCom-based Tik Tok either), but over the years several of my posts have engendered (shall we say) some notoriety, and it wouldn’t take much for those to have got me noted and monitored by some DHS/FBI drone.

Anyway, my interest in such surveillance by the .gov is minimal, although I am a kindred spirit of Tom Knighton’s in that:

Finding out that I was monitored because of my views and lawful behavior might just be too much for me to tolerate, and I’m seeing too much that I’m incapable of tolerating as it is.

Amen, Brother Tom.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the range.  My AK-47 is feeling all neglected and stuff.

*Whole lotta Latin in this post… sorry.

Been There, Done That

Disaster, Eco-Crap, Gummint

Reader JC_In_PA sends me an article about electricity, suggesting that it’s worthy of a 10,000-word rant.  An excerpt:

In our modern age, the electric grid is the mother of all networks. Without electricity, advanced forms of transportation and communications virtually grind to a halt and nearly all digital and electronic devices are rendered practically useless. When the grid goes down, we lose conveniences like air conditioning, lighting, and other amenities that we often take for granted.

Several days ago, Spain, Portugal, and parts of France and Belgium lost power for an extended period of time, demonstrating just how devastating a total grid collapse can be to our modern way of life.

During this colossal blackout, the largest that Europe has ever experienced, more than 50 million people were left without electricity. Traffic signals did not work, creating utter chaos on the roadways. Subway systems couldn’t function, leaving people stranded far from home. Stores and businesses closed, as payments were limited to cash only. Mobile phone service was spotty, at best. Even some hospitals and medical facilities, which generally have backup generators, were left without power.

As of now, it seems that the sudden, system-wide grid collapse was caused by a malfunction at two solar power plants in southwest Spain.

And further down the page:

Now, you may be thinking that enormous, system-wide blackouts could never occur in the United States, the most prosperous nation in human history. That is not only naïve, but dangerous.

As the American Energy Alliance notes, “power outages have increased by 93 percent across the United States over the last 5 years — a time when solar and wind power have increased by 60 percent. Texas, who leads the nation in wind generation, and California, who leads the nation in solar generation, have had the largest number of power outages in the nation over those 5 years.”

Unbeknownst to many Americans, the federal government, in cahoots with state and local governments, has pushed electricity grid operators to build more solar and wind power facilities instead of dependable natural gas plants while prematurely shuttering perfectly operable coal power plants. As is almost always the case, government subsidies, loan guarantees, and tax breaks have created a skewed market in which utility companies are incentivized to build more solar and wind power plants instead of dependable and affordable coal, natural gas, and nuclear power plants.

Due to this short-sighted money grab, the long-term reliability of the U.S. grid is being put in peril.

Well, I’d add my two cents to this little diatribe, but Loyal Readers will recall that I have spoken about this issue several times, to wit:  February 2021, June 2021, January 2023, November 2023, and January 2024.  (I have no idea what happened to 2022 — a mild winter, maybe — but there it is.)

Adding all that up comes to somewhat less than 10,000 words, to be sure, but I’m pretty sure that collectively, the “rant” part has been well addressed, e.g.:

We need to stop being fearful about our energy needs, toot sweet, and if the existing electricity providers are being hampered, the reasons for said hampering need to be eliminated before we start having Third World problems of rolling blackouts and “load shedding”.

And by “eliminating” I mean this:

New Guy

Religion

I see that the fish-eaters have elected a new boss — a guy from Chicago, no less — and there ya go.

Ordinarily, I’d be totally indifferent to this event;  but quite apart from being an atheist, though, I was always critical of the new Pope Leo XIV’s predecessor because he was, to put it mildly, a Green Commie.

However:

Before being elected pope, he shared several posts on X that took aim at the Trump administration’s approach to immigration, including the controversial policy of separating families at the US border. In one post that Pope Leo XIV re-shared, the original author wrote: “There is nothing remotely Christian, American, or morally defensible about a policy that takes children away from their parents and warehouses them in cages. This is being carried out in our name and the shame is on us all.”

Nope, yer Holeyness;  the shame is entirely on the parents who exposed their children to all this.

But still (from Wikipedia):

Pope Leo XIV has opposed the ordination of women to the diaconate. As a bishop, Prevost opposed the inclusion of curriculum regarding “teachings on gender in schools” in Peru, stating that the “promotion of gender ideology is confusing, because it seeks to create genders that don’t exist.”

Also:

In 2012, Prevost lamented that popular culture fostered “sympathy for beliefs and practices that are at odds with the Gospel”, citing the “homosexual lifestyle” and “alternative families comprised of same-sex partners and their adopted children.”

Sheesh.  If all the above is true (#WikiPediaIsAwful), and apart from the “Catholic” thing, those are things that I might have said.

So maybe the Catholic Church might become something worth belonging to, again, for those people interested in such stuff.  And devout, conservative Catholics — like many of my Loyal Readers — can stop being ashamed of their Church’s leadership.

Deeds, Not Words, Paddy

Elections, Immigration

This post is a continuation of an earlier one in which I talked about my dislike of the Irish as a nation.

Here’s the latest development from the Land of Blarney:

Huge crowds have staged anti-migrant protests in Ireland amid growing anger at the government over an increase in arrivals and asylum claims. 

Ireland has seen anti-migrant anger growing in recent months, over the sheer number of asylum seekers being housed across the nation. Many of them are unable to get accommodation, forcing them to sleep in tents which has further incited anger. 

 And there are pictures:

Needless to say, there were also counter-protests, wherein the above marchers were called…

…yup, the fallback epithet so beloved of the Left when someone disagrees with them.

Here’s the thing.  It’s all very well to have mass marches and so on;  that’s a fine thing, even when the Left does it.  But in the end those are just words.

So here’s a suggestion to the Irish people who are aggrieved (and justifiably so) at this welcoming of the unwelcome by their government.

Don’t burn police cars or smash windows.  Do something positive.

Here’s what we Americans did when faced with a similar (although much larger-scale) action that we didn’t like.  We went to the polls, and voted that government out of power, installing a new government would do what we wanted them to do.

I dare the Irish people to do the same at the new general election.  If they do, well and good.  If they don’t, I’m going to have to believe that more Irish want the country to be flooded with immigrants than don’t want it.

And when “Mahmood” and “Fatima” become the most popular baby names in Ireland, and the muezzin’s calls from the minaret drown out the sounds of the bells of St. Kilda, you’ll just have to fucking deal with it.

Otherwise, STFU.