Shocker

Oh, this is rich:

A paltry 6% of the federal workforce “report in-person on a full-time basis” while almost one-third of federal workers are remote on a full-time basis, in a sharp turn-around from the pre-pandemic era in which only 3% teleworked daily.

Of course, Elon Musk (the man who is aiming to fix this kind of shit) has the truth of it:

If you exclude security guards & maintenance personnel [i.e. the folks who have to be there — K.], the number of government workers who show up in person and do 40 hours of work a week is closer to 1%!

Furthermore:

Sen. Joni Ernst’s audits are finding as many as 23[%] to 68[%] of teleworking employees for some agencies are boosting their salaries by receiving incorrect locality pay.  Some employees live more than 2,000 miles away from their office and one “temporary” teleworker collected higher locality pay for nearly a decade.

Yup;  nothing like claiming D.C. cost-of-living support whilst living in W. Virginia, is there?  Or, as Harris Rigby puts it:

Get paid for big city expenses, live in the cheap suburbs, pocket the difference.

My thoughts on the above:

Hey, it’s not firing squads. (Which would have been my solution.)

Bad Taste

Worst headline of the year:

FFS, was this “poll” even necessary?  I mean, I’m as lewd as the next guy, and a lot more lewd than most, and even I was offended by it.

And no, there’s no link.  You want to find it, go look for yourself at the Daily Mail.

Medical Advice

Via Insty:

The article talks about “90 seconds” in terms of its duration, but who the hell can keep going for that long?  We’re not animals, you know.

So ladies:  the next time the old man asks for a little quickie, he’s really doing it for your own good.  Even better if it’s cowgirl.

Blown Away

You have to know that if you can impress Iain Tyrell with a 1970s-era car, you’ve achieved something.  As always with Mr. Tyrell, his history and styling/engineering overviews alone are worth the price of admission.  Go ahead and watch the video now.

And if after seeing Iain’s reaction to driving it you want to look at the Pantera for yourself, feel free to browse the market

I’ve always loved them, but I have to say that I doubt whether I’d be able to fit inside one.  Man, they are tiny.

But still… who cares about stuff like personal comfort when you’re driving pure power and self-indulgence?

Adding States

Apparently, CanickiPM Castreaux’s visit with god-emperor Trump at Mar-A-Lago didn’t quite go the way the little socialist shit wanted it to:

Trump reportedly told Trudeau that “Canada has failed the U.S. border by allowing large amounts of drugs and people across the border, including illegal immigrants from over 70 different countries.” The once-and-future president “became more animated when it came to the U.S. trade deficit with Canada, which he estimated to be more than $100 billion,” and told his shallow Canadian counterpart that “if Canada cannot fix the border issues and trade deficit, he will levy a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods on day one when he returns to office.”

That was when Trudeau started whining and claiming victimhood status. After all, what else would you expect a leftist to do? Trudeau knows that playing the victim is the pathway to fame, favor, and fortune on the left, and apparently, he assumed this to be a universal tendency. So he told Trump, probably with tears glistening in eyes, that he just couldn’t impose such a tariff “because it would kill the Canadian economy completely.” There is nothing in the available reports about Trudeau offering to do anything about stopping the flow of migrants and drugs over the border. He just wanted Trump to withdraw his threat for nothing, out of his concern for the well-being of Canada.

Trudeau doesn’t seem to have realized, however, the implications of the fact that Trump is not a fellow socialist internationalist. It isn’t that he doesn’t care about Canadians; it’s that as president of the United States, he will act in the best interests of Americans. It’s actually Trudeau’s job, not Trump’s, to act in the best interests of Canadians. 

And so the America-First president-elect asked Trudeau, “So your country can’t survive unless it’s ripping off the U.S. to the tune of $100 billion?”

At the end of it, Trump joked about turning Canickistan into our 51st state.

Well, now.

I know it was just a joke, but let’s run with this one for a moment.  Assume that this all happened, and suddenly the Great White Empty Space to our north became attached to the U.S.A.  There’s no way the whole of Canada would be just one state, of course;  but the provinces could easily become lots of different states.

I for one would be perfectly happy to see Alberta, Manitoba and Saskatchewan as newcomer-states to the Land Of The Free, and I suspect that the citizens thereof might be just as happy at such a union.

Ontario, Quebec, BritColumbia and Atlantic provinces… eh, not so much.  Ontario and B.C. are absolute non-starters because to be quite honest, we have enough socialist states of our own (California, Illinois, Oregon, NY etc.) without adding some more socialist senators to Congress.  (I’m not familiar enough with New Brunswick and the Newfies to know their politics, but I suspect that they’d be closer to Ontario than to Alberta, so to speak.)

And then there’s Quebec, with that ultra-Francophone fetish.  While that leads to excellent French restaurants in Montreal and Quebec City, it’s not enough to overcome their grating insistence on French as The Other Official Language, with all the bollocks and inefficiency that bilingualism entails.

To be honest, though, there’s way too much Woke in the whole of Canuckistan for us to have to deal with — gawd knows, it’s going to take long enough just to end the bullshit in our own backyard, without having to deal with Ultra-Woke Canadians as well.

Like all good colonizers, we’d want all the good stuff:  oil, gold, natgas, forests etc.  But all that good doesn’t come closer to countering all the bad.

So yeah:  while it’s an amusing joke and all, it just ain’t gonna happen.  Sorry, my Canucki Readers — who are definitely not wokistas — but there it is.