Ah good grief, it’s that time of week again already, and for some of us, too soon:
So let’s do some remedial laughing.
And now it’s time for a little Monday morning eye-opener:
Who she?
Granted, she has piss-poor taste in men, but then again, that’s quite common among Australian women…
“Dear Dr. Kim,
“For some reason, or maybe because I’m an old lady in my late sixties, fashion designers and haute couture houses no longer want to ‘dress’ me for media events like movie premieres and other red-carpet affairs. I think I still look quite nice (see attached pics). What should I do?”
— James Bond’s Former Bedmate
Dear Bedmate,
I wouldn’t worry about it. Frankly, you look better at 70 than 99% of today’s younger tattooed prostitutes who try to pass themselves off as “models” or “actresses”; and among the older ones like Hanoi Jane Fonda and Titsy Mirren, you look better still.
My suggestion is that you go somewhere like Top Shop or some little boutique in Chelsea, and pick your own red-carpet outfit from among their wares. (Don’t worry if the things don’t look so good; after all, Helena Bonham Carter has been dressing like a bag lady for years, and the glitterati all think she’s “charming” and “eccentric”, when you and I both know she’s simply as crazy as a sackful of wet cats and probably has a naked body which, very unlike yours, looks like a plastic bag of warm rice pudding.)
Then you can just laugh when hundreds of women storm the place where you bought your outfit, all hoping that if they buy and wear the same thing they’ll look as good as you did at the red-carpet shindig. (They won’t, don’t worry.) Then, when Vivienne Westwood or Paul McCartney’s daughter come crawling back to you to wear their latest foul offerings, tell them you prefer the Top Shop / little boutique’s lines over their overpriced dreck, and they can all fuck off.
Frankly, me sexy old darling, long after everyone has forgotten who all these pretentious little fag designers and stupid lesbo poseurs ever were, you and your movie roles will still be causing pup tents to spring up in men’s beds all over the Western world — and isn’t that a better thing, really?
— Dr. Kim
Attached pics:
Not long ago, I happened to see SOTI (Somewhere On The Internet) a link to one of my earlier Other Side Of Kim posts, and when I followed the link out of idle curiosity, of course I hit the “Site No Longer Around” page.
But as I recall, it had quite a few comments attached, so in the interests of causing mayhem, I’ve decided to republish the thing, more or less unchanged except that I’ve added pics. (Newcomers are in red, deletions/substitutions at the bottom of this post.) What amazes me is — surprise, surprise — how little I’ve changed my mind over the dozen-odd years that have passed.
Okay, I’ve just about had it with those crappy articles which ask stupid questions like: “If you could own only one gun, which would it be?” or “Name the gun you’d like to shoot exclusively for the rest of your life?” and so on. (And yes, I’ve probably written more of this type of nonsense than any two gun writers combined.)
All the above involve choices which require painful reflection and soul-searching.
But what about if you had no restrictions on quantity (speaking reasonably, that is—some guy might want thirty AK-47s, but that’s just silly, unless he’s the Commandant of his local Red Dawn unit [eyecross]).
So, if we can agree that “one hundred” is a nice round number, herewith are my choices for Kim’s Top 100 Gun Choices (and if you think that a hundred is “too constricting”, you may need help). For ease of reference, I’ve broken them down into sub-groups—BUT: if you think that shotguns are woefully under-represented when you draw up your own list, that’s fine. As to the composition of the list, I am of course hopelessly and unrepentantly old-fashioned, so if you are mortally offended that I didn’t put your favorite H&K Model Whatever on the list, that’s just too damn bad.
The guns are listed alphabetically, not in order of preference.
Rimfire Handguns (all .22 LR unless otherwise)
You might think that it took me a long time to compile this list of favorites, but you’d be wrong. It took me less than a couple of hours.
Most of the guns will be familiar to everyone (with the possible exception of the AyA shotguns), and if not, they’re in the GGP section. There are a couple of notable omissions, which probably need a little explanation.
So there you have it: Kim’s favorite 100 guns. Something to please, and to offend, everyone. Kinda like all my posts.
Deleted (and substitutions):
Any questions about the above selections / deletions / substitutions will be answered in Comments.
Tomorrow’s post (Saturday 11/16) will be a yuge feature on guns. Make sure you have sufficient coffee, snacks, booze etc. before tackling.
Oh, and Sunday’s post includes nipples.
Apparently, winter has come early in parts of Britishland:
Parts of Britain woke up to snow today as forecasters issued several ice alerts after warnings that up to half a months worth of rain will fall on already flood-hit areas.
East Gloucestershire, parts of Wiltshire and South Wales were pictured blanketed in snow this morning in the first dusting of the winter.
The Met Office issued several alerts for snow and ice across the South East and South West of England, South Wales and the West Midlands that were in force until 10am.
And the usual pics of the snow “blanket”:
Meanwhile, in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula:
All that said, however, the flooding in northern Britishland has been heavy:
…and those are fields, not a river bursting its banks.
I blame Labour. Or Trump. [/Schiff]
Let’s set the scene, here. You and a bunch of your buddies go out to a nightclub in a foreign country — let’s call it Western Europe — and start doing what you always wanted to do with a bunch of women Back Home but couldn’t because the women’s brothers and cousins have no sense of humor and are likely to cut your nuts off. Now these “foreign” women are not only dressed like whores but also seem to have no brothers and cousins whatsoever. But for some reason, they get upset with being pawed, fingered and squeezed without giving permission (go figure, right?). So they call the club bouncers and you get tossed out on the street because you’re acting like oafish animals.
Do you think, “Hmmm… maybe this isn’t the way to do things here. Perhaps we ought to change our behavior somewhat.” Of course you don’t — because, as it happens, you’re a bunch of oafish animals. (And let’s take a wild guess at this point, and assume that Back Home is nowhere close to Western Europe.)
So what you do is return to the same nightclub and demand to be let back in and when refused entry, you try scaling the fences and getting in that way — you know, like you used to do Back Home. The bouncers, for some reason, aren’t having any of this and toss you back out onto the street.
Whereupon you and your oafish buddies pull out a couple machetes (that you just happened to have about your person) and attack the bouncers.
No doubt, when these pricks are eventually captured it’ll be all about the pore starvin migrants and asylum seekers, and some asswipe German judge will rule that the bouncers were actually to blame.
And when the German people get upset about this, they’ll be labeled “rightwingers”…