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Losing Your Audience

Sports

I see that Formula 1 has lost a boatload of UK viewers ever since they moved from free TV to subscription TV.  Time for Ye Olde Cluebatte:

If you’re going to require people to pay for something that they’re used to getting for free, it has be something they can’t live without, or else something which is “new ‘n improved” — i.e. that justifies the cost.

And Formula 1 has managed to go down ever since they stopped using loud, balls-to-the-wall engines, and pricing Everything F1 into the stratosphere.  In other words, the product has become tamer, less passionate and shittier, ergo not worth paying for.

I love Formula 1, love it with a passion, always have — but not  always will.  The plain fact of the matter is that after the first corner of the first lap, F1 races are nothing more than a 66-lap procession, where races can be decided on the time and number of pit stops, where refuelling midrace has been outlawed, tire types are restricted, and so on.  F1 has also become technocentric, and techno is expensive — which limits the number of teams which have the money or desire to participate.  As a result, there are essentially only three teams — Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull — who have any consistent chance of winning a given race.  Here are the teams’ points position at the end of the 2019 season, and note the points disparity between the top three and the rest:

It was more or less the same in 2018, and 2017, and 2016… and there are only four actual engines used (Ferrari, Mercedes, Renault and Honda) by all the teams.

I have some suggestions.

  • Ban all team-driver radio communication.  Let the driver figure out what’s going on with the car, and signal to him only from the pit wall.  Right now, the whole thing is just a techno-chess game, where race decisions can be made in Maranello, Woking or Surrey rather than at the track or in the car.  In fact, very few decisions are now made by the driver, which means that at some point, driverless cars are going to be suggested (and upon that  change, all F1 fans will disappear from sight.)
  • Ban remote engine changes from the garage.  Right now, the team can make changes from the pit wall to the amount of power a car can generate.  Screw that nonsense — let the driver use as much or as little as he’s got.
  • Dump the dual-engine (hybrid) formula and stick to fast, powerful (and loud) 3-liter V6 or flat-six gas engines.  Leave all the electronic stuff to Le Mans prototype cars.  Here’s the thing:  not every auto manufacturer can afford to build a modern F1 engine — but all  of them can make a fast, powerful and reliable 3-liter six-cylinder one, which opens up the race for other car manufacturers to participate.  (And the louder, the better:  F1 fans just love  the noise.)
  • Make the races longer — 80 laps (or 150 miles) minimum — so that the cars have  to stop to refuel their (mandatory) 100-liter / 26-gallon (US) tanks.  (Ignore that “safety” bullshit:  if the sports car teams can manage refueling safely, so can F1.)
  • Let the teams choose whatever tires they want, and drop the “two-type per race” mandate.  If a team wants to race the whole thing on one set of hard tires, and another wants to use three soft sets (for higher speed) or two medium sets (compromise), then let them.
  • Ditto engine changes.  Right now, F1 teams can only use three engines per season (without penalty).  What bullshit.  Let them use a new engine for each race, if they want.  The problem is that engines now cost so much that only a couple teams could afford to do that — which is part of F1’s problem.

There’s a reason that I’m suggesting all the above, and it’s not just a hankering for the old days (as is my general tendency).  As racing becomes all the more technical and much less human, people get turned off by the loss of human interaction. 

In gun terms, it would be like watching a rifle-shooting competition between remote-controlled gun platforms made by only Mitsubishi and Honda.   I wouldn’t cross the street to watch that, for free.  And nor would many others.

Now hold a competition, in any format, between humans shooting Remington, Colt, Ruger, SIG Sauer, Blaser, CZ, Mauser, Winchester and HK rifles… oh man, sign me up now.

That’s the problem, and all F1 needs to do is to bring back the human element into racing.  You heard it here first.

News Roundup

Funny Stuff

All the shit that doesn’t deserve its own post.

1) Leader of attack on U.S. Embassy in Baghdad was a guest at the Obama White House — wouldn’t surprise me if his “welcome basket” included a bj from the First Lady, either.

2) Trump orders our Dealers of Death to blow up various terrorist assholes — please Sir, can we have some more?

3) Iran Threatens “Escalation” — go ahead.  Here’s what happened to another country  (Japan) which escalated on us.  We even have a term for it:  “massive retaliation”.

4) Fidel Raul Julian Castro quits the presidential race — who?  And speaking of hopeless losers:

5) Democrat presidential hopeful Joe Biden launched into the New Year by urging voters to make 2020 the year for gun control — go on, Joe;  write off well over 50 million gun owners (who all vote) before the primaries… yup, that’s going to work well for you.

6) Veganuary makes its appearance — as if Dry January last year wasn’t enough to make us want to throw those scolds off high buildings, now the nut-eaters are joining in.  Time for some serious counter-measures:

As my old buddy Paterson used to say:  “A meal without wine is… breakfast.”  One could say the same about steak, except that Steak & Eggs is one of my favorite breakfasts.  Anyway, to continue:

7) Virginians are buying guns and ammo in record numbers, and paying with cash — but yet they’re going to vote for some another Democrat and his gun control agenda in November, we’re told.

8) The Internet strikes again, and again — remind me again how we’re so much better off with technology.

9) Appeals court orders Arizona State to reinstate male student expelled for having a threesome — finally, some good news.  Just watch:  the Leftists are going to try and create national nookie control, next.  They’ve already started, on campuses...

Then again, I’m so old fashioned, I thought a threesome meant this:

…and not this:

Friday Night Music

Music

Add this guy to one of the greatest composers you never heard of.

Okay, that’s not exactly true, but Neil Innes was certainly the greatest satirical  composer ever.  Here’s just one example:  Hold My Hand (The Rutles).  Yes, that’s Monty Python’s Eric Idle on (McCartney-) bass, and Neil doing his John Lennon impersonation on vocals.

I’ve played song that to fanatical Beatle freaks, telling them that it was an undiscovered Beatles song which actually spawned Please Please Me, I Wanna Hold Your Hand  and She Loves You — and not one ever called me on it.  And then there’s Get Back Get Up And Go… and I Am The Walrus  Piggy In The Middle.  The list is endless.

Here’s Neil talking about The Rutles, and here’s the entire All You Need Is Cash  TV show.

Let’s not even talk about Neil’s 1960s Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band and Urban Spaceman… which took aim at the drug culture before that became cool.

R.I.P. Neil Innes (1944-2019)

 

Policy Changes

Housekeeping

I forgot to post this earlier because New Year Malaise, but here it is.

Firstly:  I have always restricted my post times to early morning (around 6am Central).  While this will continue — there will always be something for the Early Birds to read — I’m going to spread things out a little, especially when it comes to news and current events.  This post is one of them.  Next item:

Mostly, I resist reserving certain days for specific topics — other than the Monday Funnies and Friday’s Caption Competitions, of course.  These will continue ad infinitum / nauseam.

Starting this weekend, however, the following will become standard:

  • Saturdays will feature (more or less exclusively) Guy Stuff:  guns, cars and tools (actual tools, not Democrat politicians), in varying assortments and combinations.  The default will be a Gratuitous Gun Pic.  On occasion, however, I might also post something about classical literature, music or fine art.  Call it “Kim’s Culture Day”:  gun culture, car culture, High Culture, whatever.
  • Sundays will be devoted, as in days of yore, exclusively to pics of beautiful women.  This will be in what I’ve labeled as “Kim’s Sesame Street”, in which there will be sundry pictures of beautiful women of all ages and periods of history, collated by the first letter of their Christian names — e.g. this Sunday could feature Ann-Margret, Amy Adams or Anna Magnani etc., while next Sunday might contain Brigitte Bardot, Barbara Mori, Blaze Starr and so on.  The poses will always be sexy but mostly decorous (unless I succumb to Foul Male Lust and show boobs ‘n things).

Neither of the above will prevent me from posting pictures of similar nature during the week, of course, but weekday fare will consist of the usual snarling invective, ill-tempered rants and in general, my habitual shaking of the fist at authority figures, stupid people and Socialists [considerable overlap].

I trust this meets with general approval, but if it doesn’t, c’est la vie, as always.

One thing will not change:  I don’t do guest posts, or do link swaps to other websites, so if you’re one of those assholes who loves the content of this place, sees a fit (because of a single article  I once wrote) and wants to post something about fashion design, don’t bother.  This is a one-man show.

And lastly:  tonight’s Friday Night Music (which will not  be a weekly fixture) features a musical composer of astonishing talent, except you probably never heard of him.

Upside

Elections, Marxists, Politics

As Californians continue to flee the Golden Shower State and infest other areas with Californianism, there is at least one good result:

Based on Monday’s  [U.S. Census] figures, Texas is poised to gain two congressional seats, and Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Montana, North Carolina and Oregon are expected to gain one.  Eight states are expected to lose one seat:  California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and West Virginia.

If this forecast is correct, California will lose one elector in the presidential elections.  No wonder they’re trying to abolish the Electoral College.

What this also means is that the Socialists in the House will lose at least four reliable votes in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Of course, those itinerant liberal assholes are, as I said, infesting other states which in the past have been reliable Republican ones — Arizona, Colorado and Nevada come to mind — so it’s a mixed result for us conservatives, to be sure.

As long as California continues to circle the bowl, however, it’s good news for the United States (i.e. the areas not run by Socialists).