Tag: Cars

Phoniness & Fakery

Drive Time, Modernism

I almost, but not quite had a Red Cloud Of Blood (RCOB) moment when I saw this little piece of snot:

The biggest automaker in the world is reportedly working on an electric vehicle prototype that mimics the feel of driving a manual transmission, complete with a gear shift that’s not connected to anything and a floor-mounted speaker to pipe in fake engine noises. The car will even pretend to stall out if you fumble the controls — in order to deliver drivers the complete experience of driving a manual car.

…in other words, turning their already-shit cars into the automotive equivalent of a RealDoll.

Here’s my thought on the matter:  what with the Kardashians, CNN and Gavin Newsom (to name but some examples), I think we’ve got all the fake shit we need around here.

The thing that stopped me from a full-blown RCOB and made this just a Tut-Tut Moment was the recollection that I’m never going to own or even drive an electric car, ever.  It would be like Macy’s announcing that they’re going to be selling onion-flavored toffee — nauseating, yes;  but I never shop at Macy’s, I’m not in the toffee market, and am therefore unaffected.

And as for a “gear shift that’s not connected to anything”, I can think of no better description of Joe Biden.

Bygone Broads 7

Drive Time, Gratuitous Chick Pics

In this, the penultimate of the series for now, we look at another two examples of teenage boys’ boner-starters of a bygone era.  First, the 1965 Ford Shelby Mustang GT 350:

…and as their contemporaneous companion piece, so to speak, the pouty Brigitte Bardot:

 

What a pair.

Just Stupid

Drive Time

I see that Eyetie supercar maker Pagani has made a new one:

It’s called the Codalunga, which I assume is Italian for “Fat-Ass”:

But that’s not the ridiculous part of the Kardashian-styled kar.  The interior is worse.

Hands up those who can think of at least two sexual innuendos contained in the design… oh, all of you, huh?

The most charitable thing I can say about those seats is that as a supercar, of course, the Codawhatsit won’t have any cupholders;  but at least you’d be able to wedge a Big Gulp in your crotch without freezing yer dangler/ladyparts.

And if the center dashboard console brings to mind the name of the Irish airline…

[exit, laughing sardonically]

Bygone Broads 6

Drive Time, Gratuitous Chick Pics

The latest in this series features the Ferrari F110 Testarossa:

…and one of their likely accompaniments on the wall, the All-American Cheryl Tiegs:

And of course:

Little skinny for my taste, but millions of teenage boys working their bedtime pup-tents would probably disagree with me.

Hard Choice?

Drive Time

SOTI:


Not even close.  Bond’s Aston Martin DB5, by six lengths, with Magnum’s Ferrari 308 a distant second, and Vice’s Testarossa even further behind. All the rest are fugly beyond words

Your agreements / disagreements in Comments.