Tag: Cars

3 Unnecessary Driving Skills

3 Inexplicable Things, Drive Time

…in these here modern times:

  • Driving a manual transmission.  I’m not saying that the near-disappearance of the stick shift is a good thing — anything but — but it seems that most automobile owners today are quite comfortable with being steerers rather than drivers.

  • Parallel parking.  Other than in city streets, almost all parking spots are adjacent and not parallel.  I don’t remember in which state this happened (Pennsyvania?), but a woman sued the state’s driver’s code which mandated parallel parking proficiency, saying (quite rightly) that her inability to parallel park was a burden on nobody but herself, and any inconvenience suffered because she would have to drive around looking for non-parallel parking would be hers alone.  The judge agreed, and the rule was set aside.  I don’t know whether that’s spread to other states.

  • Reversing ability.  It seems that almost every car these days comes equipped with some kind of rearview camera and a warning system which beeps when you’re about to reverse into something.  I have to say that this modern geegaw is one that I heartily approve of, especially for Old Pharttes like myself for whom turning around in the seat is no longer the simple task that it once was.  (My 2013 VW Tiguan doesn’t have such a thing, and I wish it did.)

Feel free to add your ideas of other unnecessary driving skills, in Comments.

 

Remote Silliness

Crime, Drive Time, Technology, Two-Minute Hate

It’s a well-known fact that if a criminal scrote wants to get into your car, he will.  But why make it easier for him?

Got a car with keyless technology? It’s twice as likely to be stolen: Insurer reveals changing face of motor theft as brazen criminals shift tactics.

This is one modern geegaw I’ve never understood the need for, let alone wanted in my car.  What is so difficult about inserting a key into the ignition and turning it, that you have to make it “wireless”?

Of course, there’s this:

  • Price of electronic starter fob when added to your car’s selling price:  > $300
  • Price of metal key:  ~$1.

Fuck ’em.  If I ever get a new car (highly unlikely), the first thing I’ll have done is get the fob disabled.  And if it can’t be disabled and is the only way to start the car, I’ll get another car with a fucking metal key.

This has nothing to do with a resistance to change;  it’s resistance to pointless, expensive and unnecessary change.

Next:  electronic handbrakes.

Slight Disagreement

Drive Time

Some guy has opined on the Top 15 Most Beautiful Vintage Cars Ever Made, and I agree by and large, taking issue with #15 (Dodge Charger, seriously?), the rankings of the Dino 246 GT at #12 (should have been at least #3) and the Lamborghini Miura at #14 (LOL).  And then there’s the inclusion of the Ford Shelby Mustang (performance, yes;  looks, blecchhh).

My favorite (about the ’50s Corvette):  “…the best-looking car Chevrolet ever conceived”  — talk about a low bar.

It’s only 20 minutes long, so help yourselves and then add your thoughts in Comments.

The Business Of Nostalgia – Part 2

Drive Time

Last week we looked at Brabus Classic doing their Germanic number on restoring old Mercedes cars.  This week, we turn our gaze upon a guy (who looks suspiciously like a Teutonic version of Don Draper from Mad Men), and his company called Early 911S, which specializes in restoring Porches of the air-cooled Boxer-engine era to their ummm earlier magnificence.  Help yourself to an hour or so of watching the pros go about their business.

As I said last week, I can’t fit into any sports car, let alone the dinkies of that era, but I have to say that one of those cherry 356 numbers would look extremely good in my post-Powerball garage…

Yeah, they do the 356 (which I think is beautiful) as well as the 911 (which isn’t).

And then, of course, there’s RUF.

Evolution

Drive Time, Gratuitous Chick Pics, Gratuitous Gun Pics, Old Fartism

In my innocence, I always imagined that evolution was a Good Thing, in that v.2.0 would always be an improved version of v.1.9.9, and so on.  (Of course, that belief has been massively degraded by having to deal with software companies, but that’s for another time.)

I understand, therefore, that evolution is not necessarily an improvement, but by and large it has proven to be so — a 2021 Corvette is a much better car than its 1961 ancestor, at least mechanically speaking.  As for its shape?  I’ll let you decide:

Regardless of the shape change (ugh), I think we can agree that the 2021 model performs much better than the 1961 model, mechanically speaking, because let’s be honest, engine technology, materials and things like suspension- and brake technology are better now than they were sixty years ago.  And even the modern shape is no doubt far more efficient in terms of air management than the older one, so at least there’s that.

Now let’s talk about guns.  Here we have a situation where the technology has hardly changed at all, materials have improved somewhat, but (say) a .22 pistol’s operation and efficiency have stayed pretty much the same.

So sixty-odd years ago we had .22 pistols that looked like the High Standard and Beretta:

 

…which, I think we can all agree, did an excellent job of putting the boolet into its intended destination.  Modern pistols, of course, do just as good a job of that — pistols like the FN and SIG:

 

…but for all their improved technology and materials, they somehow end up looking like a dog’s ass.

To return to the cars for a moment, it’s as though the Corvette:

…somehow ended up looking like this:

I know, I can hear y’all now:  “The old fart’s lost it again, jabbering about the Good Ole Days.”

Yeah, maybe.

But I’d still rather own a Beretta 101 than any of the current crop of .22 hand-bricks.

And to wrap this whole train of thought up, I want somebody to explain how ideals of female beauty like this:

…have somehow evolved into this:

Same form, same basic functions between the two models… but ugh.  No thank you.

The Business Of Nostalgia – Part 1

Drive Time

What do you do when you realize that not everybody wants the latest ‘n greatest, with all sorts of shiny geegaws which add flash but no excitement?

Well, in the world of cars, it’s clear that there are a lot of people like me:  people who are disinterested in the nanny electronics which purport to make the driver’s life “easier” and driving more “convenient”;  except that such ease and convenience comes at the expense of driving control and enjoyment (not to mention bloated prices and happy auto manufacturers’ accountants).

And unlike me, it seems, there are a lot of people who have the money to indulge this preference (and yes, I am jealous), because you’re talking about cars which were great for the time they were made in, but which have deteriorated over the years (decades, even) and therefore just don’t work as well as they used to, or else just don’t work at all.

So how does one of these wealthy nostalgianistes (to coin an expression) go about acquiring, for example, a Mercedes 280 SL “Pagoda” model from the 1960s that isn’t a rustbucket and hasn’t been subjected to the violations of the part-time “restorers”?

Well, you’re in luck because over in Germanland, the independent performance tinkerers at Brabus have expanded their operations from just making modern Mercedes cars into performance monsters, into an entire division which restores old Mercedes models back to their showroom condition.  And here’s the story of Brabus Classics, which you should watch before moving on to the interactive part of this post, which is:

If you had the (stupid) money in the bank and the urge to own an older Mercedes car, which one would you order from these maniacs?

My choice is below the fold…

Read more