Actor David Niven once described the Young sisters (Polly Ann, Elizabeth and Loretta) thus: “Each one was prettier than the others”, and who am I to argue with his judgment? So as we looked at Loretta last week, let’s look at the oldest of the three (the fourth, Georgiana, was a half-sister, but we’ll get to her later).
Say hello to Polly Ann Young:
I think Niven was right… and we’ll look at Elizabeth next week.
I think I first fell in love with Loretta Young in The Bishop’s Wife — one of the better Christmas movies of all time — and mostly, it should be said, because of that sexy contralto voice.
Not that the rest was too horrible.
And she didn’t look too bad as an older woman, either:
Classy and lovely, always.
I think I’ve tortured everybody enough with my various dream road trips whether in France, Italy or Western Europe in general. There’s only been one in the U.S., but even that involved furrin cars and -women.
So am I going to quit? Hell, no!
Today’s trip is going to be All-American, in that the choice of car and female companion will feature no foreign entanglements* of any kind.
The trip?
Actually, you have a choice there too: U.S. 1 (and 1A where available) along the East Coast, from Miami – Bar Harbor ME:
…and U.S. 101 (the Pacific Coast Highway/PCH) along the West Coast from San Diego to Seattle:
The East Coast trip is nearly 400 miles longer, and if you wish, you could skirt NYFC (or add to your pain by doing a loop around Long Island).
You can do the trip north – south or vice-versa (please specify which), and at a time of year which suits you (do tell). The only hard and fast rule is to avoid interstate highways wherever possible. The goal is to keep the shoreline on the side of the car as much as you can. You may go through any of the cities you wish, but you can also skirt those which would make you homicidal with rage (NYFC, LA, Boston etc.) while trying to deal with the traffic and congestion.
As always with these scenarios, assume you’ll have trouble-free motoring en route, and a (shall we say) willing partner of the female persuasion in the passenger seat, and she will be as pictured. Also assume that you are of an age which would do the driving and overnight stops, so to speak, justice.
Now the fun part: the cars and companions. I’ve tried to avoid listing any of the cars and the women in earlier posts, which has made it quite difficult. Here we go, and remember: no substitutions.
1. 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz and Angie Harmon
2. 1957 Studebaker Golden Hawk and Candace Cameron
3. 1957 Corvette and Katherine Lanasa
4. 1957 Chevy Bel-Air and Mary-Louise Parker
5. 1957 Ford T-Bird and Téa Leoni
6. 1954 Kaiser-Darrin Roadster and Marg Helgenberger 
7. 1956 Chrysler Imperial and Daisy Fuentes
(*I know, Daisy was born in Cuba. Shuddup or she’ll be replaced with Whoopi Goldberg.)
Let’s go a little earlier, car-wise:
8. 1935 Auburn 851 Speedster and Nancy Wilson
9. 1936 Cord 810 and Eva Amurri
10. 1932 Duesenberg SJ and Dana Delaney 
11. 1940 Packard Super-8 and Lynn Russell
12. 1933 Lincoln KB Victoria and Lisa Edelstein
That’s my delicious dozen. If you’re unfamiliar with any of the options, you know where to look (duckduckgo).
Oh wait! A wild card!
13. 1958 Chevy Apache and
Part of a showbiz family (see below), Lisa Gaye was lovely (and a devout Christian). Certainly, the movie studios thought so, as she was signed to a four-year contract when she was only 17. But judge for yourselves:
And not just a pretty — okay, gorgeous — face, either.
In Technicolor:
Never as well known as her sister (Debra Paget), you can certainly say hers was a handsome showbiz family. Seen here with Debra and brother Frank :
Lovely formal clothing, not a tattoo in sight… how I miss those days.
She was named after Audrey Hepburn, and her parents must have had some extraordinary foreknowledge, because Audrey Tatou is probably the closest thing we have to the classy, gamine and always-elegant Hepburn. Let’s start with her face:
…then zoom out a little:
…just a bit more:
…and into the tout ensemble:
I know, she’s slender to the point of skinny, quite unlike my usual preference.
But then again, Audrey Hepburn was just as skinny, and it’s to her that we’re comparing her namesake, and not to the pumped-up, pneumatically-enhanced and overblown actresses of the modern era.
Exquisite. Absolutely wonderful.
By the way, I happen to think that the Tatou Audrey is a far better actress than the Hepburn Audrey. On her own (in Amélie) she was brilliant, and in The Da Vinci Code she more than stood up to the towering talent that surrounded her: Alfred Molina, Ian McKellern, the incomparable Jean Reno and of course, leading man Tom Hanks.
Not just a pretty face, she.
Let’s confine ourselves to just one horny royal today, this being France’s Louis XV, who was a very busy lad.
Madame de Pompadour
…who wasn’t just his mistress, but pretty much the equivalent of his chief of staff (yeah, that staff as well).
Marie-Anne de La Tournelle
…who joined each of her four sisters as mistress of Louis XV. Ran through the family, he did.
Marie-Louise O’Murphy 
One of the few of all the royal mistresses who gave us a peek at her whole body, thanks to having been a model for artist François Boucher.
Madame du Barry
Now this was an interesting one. Not only did Madame du Barry go through the French court and nobility like a cleaver through a lamb — she must have had considerable bedroom skills — but she was also the longtime mistress of the grandson of Louis V, Louis XVI.
A multi-generational floozy! Sadly, though, the French Revolution’s guillotine was the last thing she gave head to.