Tag: Entertainment

Gold-Plated Invective

Funny Stuff, Music

From Ishmael, snarling away from his lair in the Shetlands:

I was up all night, between here and watching the telly. It was a wee small hours, musical interlude, on Channel Four, firstly a film of Liam Gallagher’s new ensemble, Beardy Eye, playing their new album in the Abbey Road studios. Liam is the truly neanderthal, younger brother from Oasis, a thick, grunting Manchester-Irish fuckpig, dumb as shit, you can hear the wind whistling between his ears, if he was any more stupid he’d have to be watered twice a week; makes Manchester United’s Wayne Potato look like a full Mensa meeting, does Liam. Nothing wrong with stupid. There’s lots of people like Liam, their oil just doesn’t reach the dipstick. He’s not as stupid as he looks, mind, because he looks like he was beaten with the Ugly stick and then ate it, ugly as fucking sin, is Liam Gallagher, ugly as a hatfull of arseholes; if your dog had a face like Liam’s, you’d shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards. Stupid, ugly and nasty, that’s Liam Gallagher, a truculent moron, charmless, graceless and entirely without discernible musical talent, a sign, in fact, of Ruin’s corrosion.

Now that’s scorn and dislike for you.  And it gets worse…

Check Out The Big Brain On Ur-Brad!

Bad News

Here’s an interesting thing:

The decrease was identified during the Holocene era when human began to form social groups instead of living individually. This allowed them to share information instead of storing it.

By that process, modern brains must be shrinking exponentially as the Internet Effect becomes information-sharing on steroids.

Which would explain rap music and TikTok “influencers”.

Fog Of Confusion

Bad News

For you to understand the approaching train wreck that is my aging brain, you need only to look at this email exchange between me and a Reader:

Kim,
Thanks for your post about Michael Caine this morning.
Thought I’d add my $0.02, if you don’t mind. One of my favorite movies that he made was “The Eagle Has Landed”.
I wondered if you like it, and if not, why not? I’m not much of a discerning literature or movie connoisseur as you are, but I like to learn. — Tim

Tim,
Love it.  I have the movie AND the novel trilogy.  (Higgins is one of my favorite modern authors, ever since Eye Of The Needle.)

Well, you all know where this is going, right?  Hold on:

Kim,
I haven’t read the novel, thanks for the heads up. I’ll put the trilogy on my reading list. — Tim

Then about ten minutes later, some pieces of Truth came upon me, and I hastily continued:

Tim,
I’m losing my mind.  The author of Eye Of The Needle was Ken Follett, not Jack Higgins.  DOH!!!!
But Higgins did write the trilogy:  Eagle Has Landed, Eagle Has Flown, Night Of The Fox.
Although Follett also wrote a novel called The Fox.
All very confusing to an old man like me.

The latter is not to be confused with D.H. Lawrence’s novella of the same name, nor with the Peter Sellers / Vittorio De Sica movie After The Fox, which featured the luscious Maria Grazia Buccella:

The movie was derived from a play of the same name by Paul  Neil Simon.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Anyway:  Jack Higgins wrote The Eagle Has Landed  and its two sequels (a.k.a. the Liam Devlin Trilogy ).

And Ken Follett wrote The Eye Of The Needle and other fine stories.

Everyone got that?  Good.

Now explain the middle bit to me.

About Yesterday

Bad News

This past Sunday was a rare event:  New Wife prepared her homemade fish ‘n chips, while I did my bit by drinking some  quite a bit  okay a lot of British ale.

The result of all this was that I neglected to post the regular Monday Funnies feature which, as I was going to break with tradition and make it a XXX-Monday Funnies, was probably A Good Thing.

The regular feature will resume next week.

News Roundup

Bad News

As if Monday wasn’t bad enough… here’s the roundup:


…is this even news anymore?


…not to outdone in the “importing crime category”, President Braindead steps up.  And:


…the odds against the scumbags being imprisoned, repatriated, shot at dawn etc. are so high even I won’t make book on it.

From the Dept. of the Blindingly Obvious:


…like we all didn’t already know that.  And:


…you don’t say.


…how I wish this were actually true.


…bring back DDT, and this will all be over.

From the Dept. of Suckage:


…tribute song (and my favorite) embedded in headline.


…as I’ve never ever adopted “low-fat dairy” products, this has no interest for me at all.


…the Brits should do what we do:  ignore those supra-government WHO assholes completely.


…thus proving, once again, that all centrally-managed systems cause shortages and rationing.


…the world’s most powerful electron microscope could not find the sympathy I have for them.


…[insert “French wanker” joke here]

And on that note, it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

   


…and here she is:

v

If that were true, I’d still be 18.

And lastly:


…and here she is:

I think I’m going to start an OnlyFans account.  But instead of showing off my ancient decrepit body, I’ll show scenes of me shooting hippies and Commies, which may prove popular in some circles.  Might as well collect some moolah for defense attorneys before my (inevitable) arrest for breaking some BidenLaw or other.

Orotundity

Grammar Nazism

…otherwise known as academic-speak:

“Given the astonishing recrudescence of multifarious efforts to disrupt the free flow of discussion—from the astringencies of political correctness to the minatory dicta of woke ideologues—it is worth stepping back to ponder the career of this subtle but enlivening pillar of liberty.”

JHC.

I know exactly what it all means:  but I resent the time wasted to translate it into comprehensible English.  Once again, a speed bump in my reading enjoyment of what is otherwise quite an interesting essay.