Tag: Evil Bastards

Fucking Busybodies

Nannies

I don’t know how much more nannying I can stand.  How about this one:

James Bond is a ‘severe’ alcoholic and should be offered medical help by his employer, M16, academics have said.
The… agent drinks a total of 109 drinks over 24 films – an average of 4.5 per film, an analysis by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand found.
His record binge in the Quantum of Solace (2008) saw 007, played by Daniel Craig, consume 24 units of alcohol in one sitting – ‘enough to kill some people’.

Well it didn’t kill him, did it?

MAYBE BECAUSE JAMES BOND IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!!!

But it’s actually his employer’s fault, of course:

The authors suggested work-funded counselling or psychiatric support would be appropriate, considering he could have had post-traumatic stress after killing so many people and being tortured in films such as Casino Royale (2006) and Spectre (2015).

I could suggest a few others for torture and killing, but I’ll stop before I burst a blood vessel.

The best part (?) of all this bullshit is that the “study” was performed by some professors from a university in New Zealand, a sub-species not exactly renowned for their sobriety.

Myself, I think these so-called “academics” are totally fucking retarded, and need to be driven over a cliff.

In a short bus.

Delicious Thought

Entertainment, Men & Women

I read SOTI that there is a better-than-50/50 chance that the bloated and loathsome Hollywood mogul [some overlap]  Harvey Weinstein may not be convicted for #MeToo DoublePlusUngood Sex Crimes after all.

I have no idea if this is true, of course, but should this happen, Evil Kim is cackling his ass off at the probable feministical reaction.

Hasten the day…

Broken Bones

Crime

In response to the scourge of “moped thieves” (louts who rob people, often violently, then speed off on little — stolen — 50cc scooters and motorbikes), London’s Metropolitan Police have instituted a policy of “chase and knock down” — in effect, chasing after said thieves, then ramming them with their cars if the criminals refuse to stop.  To the surprise of nobody, this has been extraordinarily effective in getting arrests.

[pause to allow the cheering and applause to subside, on both sides of the Atlantic]

Of course, knocking some little scrote off a moving motorcycle can cause injury, and has.  (Okay, you can knock off those catcalls and jeers now, my ears are hurting.)

And predictably, the Usual Suspects are wailing that this is Crool & Hartless, and Nobody Deserves This Rough Treatment, etc. etc. etc.  You’ve heard all this nonsense before.

If you follow the above link however, do not miss the Comments section below the article.  And in case you don’t have time to go over to the Mail‘s website, here are but a few of my favorites:

“Forgive me if I see violent criminals being injured as a bonus.”
“I’m just disappointed they’re not reversing back over them.”
“I don’t care if they suffer breaks to all the bones in their bodies. Quite frankly who cares?”
“Good job. Don’t stop.”
“Who cares about dead robbers? The more the merrier!” — and from one man who could well have been one of my Loyal Readers:
“Don’t chase them, very dangerous, use snipers!”

And here’s the reason for the anger and vitriol.  Most of these larcenous little fuckers (and they’re almost all teenagers, by the way) have little problem in using violence to rob people, whether the weapons are hammers, clubs or machetes — imagine having your arm nearly sliced off just so that some little shit can take your iPhone — which is why the public, if the commenters at the Daily Mail  are at all representative, are so angry about all this.

Furthermore, the use of mopeds means that these armed robbers can roam all over London — meaning that nowhere is “safe” anymore — thus this kind of crime can affect literally anyone in the street, and it is:  from grannies to housewives to toffs and to other teenagers, all are potential victims.

No wonder people are cheering.

Censors And Their Censoring Ways

Freaks & Loonies, Two-Minute Hate

Aaaaaargh FFS I’m just about to explode with rage over here.  Why?  Because the Language Police are out in force, trying to circumscribe my speech yet again, but this time from another direction.

It’s bad enough that I can’t say the words “snigger” or “blackball” without some fucking snowflake or race hustler getting triggered and calling me Worse Than Hitler — we’re all familiar with that form of PC regulation.

Guess who’s next?

Here’s the list of ‘helpful’ suggestions from PETA for teachers to use with their pupils instead of the current ‘harmful’ phrases. It recommends:

  • ‘Let the cat out of the bag’ is changed to ‘Spill the beans’
  • ‘Be a guinea pig’ to ‘Be the test tube’
  • ‘Hold your horses’ to ‘Hold the phone’
  • ‘Open a can of worms’ to ‘Open Pandora’s box’
  • ‘Bring home the bacon’ to ‘Bring home the bagels’
  • ‘Put all your eggs in one basket’ to ‘Put all your berries in one bowl’
  • ‘Kill two birds with one stone’ to ‘Feed two birds with one scone’
  • ‘Take the bull by the horns’ to ‘Take the flower by the thorns’
  • ‘Flog a dead horse’ to ‘Feed a fed horse’
  • ‘More than one way to skin a cat’ to More than one way to peel a potato’

Now the fucking vegans have to get involved in language?  Great Caesar’s bleeding hemorrhoids, isn’t there any  part of my life which can escape the censure of these bastard busybodies?

[deep breath]

I think the best thing I can do (apart from some activity involving an AK-47 and a few Molotov cocktails) is to offer up some suggestions which escaped the above list, but that we may use just to antagonize these pricks a little further:

  • Bleeding the lizard (male urination)
  • Choking the chicken (male masturbation)
  • Spearing the bearded clam (shagging)
  • Harpooning a whale (fucking a fat chick — a twofer, because body-shaming)
  • Bonking a buffalo (ditto)
  • Poking a panther (fucking a Black chick)
  • Tonguing the trout (cunnilingus)
  • Eating an eel (fellatio)
  • Playing with the puppies (fondling a woman’s breasts)
  • …and all the expressions involving the word “pussy”, e.g. pussyfooting.

If anyone has any other suggestions, go at it in Comments.  I’m too angry to think.

No I’m not:  I think I’ll go and roast me a leg of lamb for dinner.

Here’s the source:

In fact, this may be our best revenge on these gastronomic Puritans:  every time you read something about vegans that pisses you off, make yourself a meat dish for dinner.  Or go completely overboard at lunchtime:

*I should point out that “Open Pandora’s box”  is probably offensive to some feministicals because of its quasi-sexual connotation, but I’ll let them fight it out with the vegans, preferably with nuclear weapons so we can have a little mutually-assured destruction.

Okay, that thought put a smile back on my face.

No Mercy

Crime

Somebody explain to me why these people should not be publicly scourged when caught:

Parents have been urged to check playground equipment after thugs attached razor blades to a slide.
Potentially deadly blades were cellotaped to a slide in Winifred Lane Play area in Aughton, West Lancashire – and left in a prime position so children could easily slice open their hands.

Here’s an example:

Now go ahead and tell me why I shouldn’t start assembling the whipping-frame.