It’s The Cost, Stupid

From some source or another SOTI:

It’s been a rocky year for the restaurant industry, with rising costs due to inflation and changing consumer habits driving a slew of chains with household names into Chapter 11 bankruptcy. According to those who follow the industry, there is no definable silver lining ahead for an industry in deep trouble.

Have to agree with this, because it’s a well-known fact that once food prices go up, they never come down again.

Last Sunday New Wife and I took a little trip to Sherman TX (a.k.a. the last exit off the highway before you get to Oklahoma) for a little antique / bargain shopping.  (I know, I know;  to most men, “antiquing” is just another term for “strap the rat cage to my face”, but I don’t mind it because New Wife and I have very similar tastes when it comes to shopping, and she is a fanatical scrimper  when it comes to this kind of thing.)

Anyway:  Sherman is not in the middle of nowhere, but you can certainly see Nowhere from the town square.  One would expect a small town to have small-town prices, and indeed, the wares are the antique mall were very reasonable.  (Not that we bought anything, but still.)

On the other hand, it was when we went out for lunch that the shock hit home.

You see, I’m in charge of the grocery shopping chez  du Toit, so I’m accustomed to the price increases in food — I’ve ranted about it often enough on these pages — and I’ll be honest and say that we haven’t eaten “out” in about four months, other than the occasional takeout order of fries from Sonic and the like.

So we treated ourselves to a small BBQ lunch at the Cackle & Oink [sic], a nice little place just north of town.  Modest premises, hometown feel, lots of locals inside… you know the drill.

And two small meals with iced tea came to over $50.

I nearly passed out.

Look, BBQ has always been kinda spendy, I know.  But in the past, a small order of ribs and brisket (our normal fare) seldom ran over $30, or maybe a tad over with the tip.  But $50???

Somebody told me the other day that two burgers at Five Guys now costs in the region of $40, and I couldn’t believe them.  Now, I do.

It just means that we’ll be eating at home in the future, and if my prognosis about food prices is indeed true, we’ll never be eating out again.  What a lovely prospect (and just when we were beginning to claw ourselves out of our recent abject poverty, too).

And for restaurants, the prospects will be similarly gloomy, you betcha.

I don’t know what could possibly avert this situation.  Maybe a Trump election would help, in that some sanity will be restored and inflation tamed, but somehow I doubt it.

News From Little Big Horn

…yeah, Custer’s having some problems out there.

Also, this stunning news:

Cucumbers can be seen as a quick and easy addition to summery salads or a tasty snack, but an expert has issued a warning over the vegetable.

Nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert, who specialises in weight management, issued a warning to anyone who regularly eats them. According to Rhiannon, the cucumber might not be as nutritional as fans first thought.

In her column for the Daily Telegraph, Rhiannon explained: “Cucumber is a refreshing vegetable with a very high (96%) water content, making it hydrating but relatively low in nutrients.”

You don’t say!  Hands up all those who didn’t know that cucumbers are just a water delivery device… oh you all know that?  What’s that, in the back?  “Crunchy water”, you say.  Indeed it is.

But wait!  There’s more!

For an extra box of .22 LR, can anyone tell me another vegetable that’s mostly water but beloved by salad gobblers, vegans and dieters?  [some overlap]

Rhiannon also touched on iceberg lettuce, noting its similar shortfall in nutritional value. Like cucumbers, it’s better for hydration than nutrition.

Ah, you peeked.  No ammo for you.

In our next edition of Little Big Horn News, our intrepid reporters have discovered that slamming your finger with a hammer can hurt like hell, hot stove tops hide a nasty little secret, and Lizzo has a weight problem.

Pay The Price

Some Belgie chick went to London and was astonished to be charged through the nose for her breakfast.

A tourist has come under fire for complaining about paying £3.55 for two croissants and a bottle of water at a London supermarket.

Here’s why I have no sympathy.

1) Any time you visit a major city (pretty much anywhere, Tokyo, Zurich ahem), you’re probably going to pay more than you expect for stuff, and in London more so than most, especially when the currency exchange is factored in.  (In Murkin greenbacks, this amount would be $4.50 or so — typical for a quick breakfast in L.A. or NYfC, probably, but without the quality guarantee.)  Which leads to my next point:

2) It’s Marks & Spencer, FFS.  Chances are that said croissants are as good or better than she could get anywhere else in Europe, with the possible exception of Paris.  That’s why they’re more expensive than most places:  they go for quality over everything else, and you pay the premium accordingly..

3) Water?  With croissants?  Loath as I am to tell a Euro how to eat their food, the proper liquid to be consumed with croissants is coffee.  Okay, considering the locale, a cup of tea could be substituted, but water?  Ugh.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do;  and when in London, suck it up and pay, Margriet.

A Question Of Taste

Here’s a story which made me scratch my head:

She proceeds to tear apart the battered fish and dip it into tartare sauce, and then grabs a handful of chips.

So far, so good.  The baffling thing?

Returning to the fish, Bella continues to eat with her fingers.

…which left her Brit readers appalled.

Bella’s unconventional approach of eating fish with her fingers took social media by storm, sparking debate among netizens. One observer posted: “I’ve never seen someone eat fish and chips with their hands.”

I’m sorry?  Eating F&C with a knife and fork is like eating pizza or a hot dog with a knife and fork;  you can do it, but why?  (As my old Zulu buddy Sipho Tshabalala once put it:  “How can you taste the food when you don’t touch it?”  And he’s quite right.)

Americans may be forgiven for not knowing this, by the way, because Over Here one buys fish and chips at a restaurant and eats it sitting at a table, where eating with one’s fingers is generally frowned upon.

But in the true British Empire fashion, fish & chips is street food.  You buy it through a chippy’s window on the street, it comes wrapped in paper (once newspaper, alas no more), and you eat it on the run, so to speak, holding the steaming bag of F&C in one hand while pulling it apart and stuffing it in your face with the other.  (This polystyrene thing, as in the above picture, is yet another clear pointer to the fall of civilization as far as I’m concerned.)

And it tastes fucking wonderful.  (My mouth is watering as I write this.)  Yeah, your hands end up all greasy (as do your lips) from the oil and vinegar — but that’s all part of the experience.

This modern obsession with cleanliness is stupid, by the way, and no more so than when consuming one of the great food dishes of the world.

Important Stuff

From the experts comes this advice on how to make a perfect cup of tea.

Yorkshire Tea reveals how to make the perfect cuppa

I don’t know how to do that many things well — but when it comes to making tea, I do it perfectly.

From an early age, I used to make my mom a night-time cuppa, brewed in a small teapot, which I would take up to her bedroom for her to drink in bed before she said her prayers and went to sleep.  I did it every night for years until I went to boarding school, and even then I’d do it for her during school holidays, right up until I moved out of home.

I have, in short, brewed thousands of cups of tea in my lifetime.

New Wife drinks tea, upwards of six cups a day where possible, and she says that indeed, I make the best tea she’s ever had.  (She drinks Yorkshire Gold, by the way.  I turned her onto it before we got married, and now it’s all she drinks.)

Just for the record, I make her tea precisely the way that Yorkshire Tea says it should be made, with one small addition:  I first warm her cup with hot water while the water is boiling before emptying it and putting the teabag in, then pouring the boiling water over the teabag.  (The tea brews more quickly that way.)

And before anyone gets on my case about teabags vs. loose tea:  with YG, there is no difference in taste between the two — yes, I did a blind taste test with New Wife, who couldn’t tell the difference.  (And if she can’t, nobody can.)

Finally:  I’m a Tiffy.  Always have been, because putting the milk in after the tea has brewed is the only way to bring the tea to the desired color / strength.  Some people like it brown, others lighter.  My kids — also devoted tea drinkers — prefer it strongly-brewed but paler (D1 in the chart below), with sugar, while New Wife prefers it to be medium strength and a sort of tan color (C3) with no sugar.  It’s an art.

Like I said, this is important stuff.

Reader Input

I have Teh Competition!  From his well-defended bunker in coastal Florida, Reader Sean F. sends the following:

SEAN’S BILTONG

For the meat, I get a cut called caipirinha – a South American (Brazilian) cut which is actually the top of the rump, with the thick fat attached Top round, etc. is fine, but I like the fat layer, which should be trimmed down to 1/4” for biltong.  (Leave on for roasting.)

Per 1 lb. of raw meat – double or triple, etc.

Cut meat into thumb thickness pieces with grain

Spice mix:

2 tsp. coarse black pepper

3 tbsp. roasted and ground coriander seeds – grind with red pepper flakes to taste

Add to grind powdered garlic and onion 1/2 tsp @

Marinade:

½ c red wine vinegar

¼ c Worcestershire Sauce

Pat the meat dry and rub in ¼ of the spice mix on each side. Add marinade and put in tight Ziploc, overnight in frig. Turn, if you think of it.

Hang to dry.

It takes me 3 days in this hot but air-conditioned climate to get to “wet”.  Leave 5 days for “dry”.


…and he had the temerity to send me a couple of (wet) sample sticks.

Upshot:  New Wife prefers it to mine.  (“More savory, wetter, nice fat sliver.”)  Some Seffrican buddies we shared it with over the weekend also pronounced it excellent.

Action:  Will copy and steal the above recipe, as should everybody.

Verdict:  Business opportunity.