Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:

So let’s waltz into the news, such as it is.


…


…but the real bad news came when he discovered that Amazon’s cheap medical plan didn’t cover heart attacks.


…because it stopped people from smoking, right?


…


…and:


…quelle surprise.


…because MAGA rallies always end in riots, looting and burning buildings, you see.


…thus answering the old question:  “If guns are banned, can we use swords?”


…I think we’ve all had orgasms like that at least once before.  And speaking of orgasms:


…LOL, Professor Reynolds.

And as for (non-linked) INSIGNIFICA:

   


…headline should read:  “BECAUSE I drive a Ferrari, I have to shop at Aldi, etc.”

And in that vein:

Also, to be politically correct, let’s not leave out our Asian models:

…and of course, a couple of token blacks:

Here endeth the news.

No More Gilbert

Tragedy

Gilbert Gottfried, one of my all-time favorite comedians, has died aged 67 (my age ATOW), from complications caused by muscular dystrophy.

There was and is nobody more cruel and nastier than Gilbert.  Here’s one example (and is VVNSFW).

And my favorite line of his, conducting an imaginary interview of Jackie Onassis:

“So… do remember what you were doing on the day..?”

I am SO going to miss him.  R.I.P.

Bedehr Gesocht

Funny Stuff, Men & Women

Alert Reader Mike M sends me this cheerful little piece:

A Florida man is facing criminal charges for alleged “lewd, indecent and obscene acts” aboard a Boston-bound flight.

Yeah, fine, whatever, Florida Man doing strange shit, nothing to see here, move along.  Until we read the very next sentence:

Donald Edward Robinson, 76, Bonita Springs, was arrested Sunday morning at Logan International Airport and charged by criminal complaint with one count of lewd, indecent and obscene acts.

Seventy-six years old?  Man deserves a medal, not prosecution.  Then further on:

Robinson is accused of masturbating and exposing his penis in front of a 21-year-old woman who was seated next to him.  The woman recorded a 24-second video clip of Robinson allegedly touching and manipulating his penis through his pants shortly after the flight took off, authorities said. Robinson allegedly then exposed his penis.  The woman tried to point Robinson out to a flight attendant after landing but was unable to point him out due to the number of people trying to exit the aircraft.  Security footage captured Robinson exiting the terminal.

Spoilsports.  As the title of this post indicates, we should all be so lucky to have such lascivious thoughts, so well past our threescore years and ten.

News Roundup

Funny Stuff

Brought to you by:


…and:


…kinda out of the frying pan and onto the gas ring, innit?


…thus preparing the ground for the announcement of his “sudden” death, of course, because news of his “suicide” might not be believed.


…I’ll buy “faster”, because they’d want to get away from that horrible noise as quickly as possible.


…I’d prefer total dissolution, but I’ll settle for a policy that bans use of the anagram “CDC” in favor of “Centers For DISEASE CONTROL” [sic] in all press releases, communications and letterheads.


…as they should have.  At age 93, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want without a bunch of nanny doctors scolding you.


…Trump blamed.


…thus guaranteeing a flood of said freaks rushing to live in Palm Springs.  Good.  Put ’em all in one place, which will make life easier for the rest of us.


…glug, glug: 

Ferrari 488 owner crashes his brand new
supercar on the same day he bought it
…now that’s just tragic, I don’t care what you say.


…and how would a cheaper wedding have helped with the war and economic crisis?  Fucking idiots.

Train Smash Watch: 


…any moment now…


…which might explain Dennis Rodman, amongst others.


…damn, that’s a novel excuse.

And now, esse  INSIGNIFICA:

   

And (with vomit-inducing link, NSFW):


…quelle surprise.

And to expunge the above from your systems, here’s Kelly Brook in a bikini:

Some unknown totty in a see-through blouse:

And finally, the ONE decent-looking woman at Aintree last week, Claire Sweeney:

Now get on with it.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Ah yes, Mondays:

So let’s get on with it:

I don’t see a beer fridge, but it’s probably just offscreen somewhere.  And speaking of beer:

I think I’ll skip the breakfast gin today for something more… hoppy.