For this pre-Christmas competition your suggestions, as always, should appear in Comments.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Open Season
Well, that’s okay then:
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) warned New Jersey residents against shooting at mysterious unidentified drones.
Given the source, I’d say it would be almost mandatory for the folks in Joizee to have at it.
Here’s my take. This whole drone swarm thing in NJ seems to be shrouded in secrecy, for all sorts of reasons. And nowadays, where there’s secrecy, there’s almost always Gummint skullduggery afoot. (And not even just nowadays — Kennedy assassination / Lee Harvey Oswald murder coff coff.)
So it stands to reason for us to expect that if the Fibbies are telling us not to do something, it’s because that “something” endangers one of their little clandestine reindeer games, no?
I’d suggest light birdshot or even .410 000, for those interested. Just make sure that the fall of shot isn’t close to houses or streets, and we’ll all be good.
(me getting in some practice prior to a drive trip to NJ)
Note to any Gummint alphabet agency snooping around: the above is what’s called “satire”, “humor” or even “hyperbole”. Feel free to look those words up if you’re unclear on the concept, you assholes.
And my final thought: given the dramatis personae in this little scenario, it’s quite possible that nobody in government knows what the fuck is going on — if indeed anything is — and likewise has no idea how to investigate it either. I wouldn’t place any bets against this hypothesis, either.
Oh Dear
From Britishland, a tragedy:
Looks like he won’t be driving home for Christmas…
(For my Murkin Readers, their MOT is the equivalent of our state inspection).
And I can never hear Chris Rea’s voice without thinking of Alan Fearnley’s art.
News Update
And off we go:
…
...always good to see that Gummint has solved enough pressing national problems that they have time enough to address the serious issues.
...and fall it did. Now the real question: does anyone actually believe that whatever replaces the “Assad regime” will be any better? Nobody? Yeah, me neither.
From the Dept. of Education:
...can’t see the fuss, as there weren’t any kiddies there at the time. Also, key word: Floriduh.
...as opposed to the red flag that you support, you tiresome little Commie bitch.
...wait, aren’t you the same crowd who came up with the food pyramid?
...wow, nobody saw that coming.
#NHSfailure
...might as well join all the others of their ilk in Canada.
In the Dept. of Mostly Peaceful Demonstrations:
...I don’t think I can fit any more AK magazines in the car.
...let’s just say that not many people would mind too much if all those colleges were to burn to the ground, though.
And then:
...I didn’t know that there was that much worth seeing in New Jersey, but whatever.
And now, ecco 
...and as we race down 
:
...she’s kinda plain, but I guess that’s not a necessary part of her quest anyway:
And that’s the skinny for the week.
Monday Funnies
And off we go, with a bumper issue of offensive jokes:
(actually, that came from The Englishman, so I stole it
because it’s so good.) #SorryNotSorry
(and believe me, that’s very close to the truth)
And to finish this epic post off, some extremely questionable taste below the fold:
Caption Competition #372
Your suggestions in Comments.