Tag: Humor

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And speaking of assholes and Manhattan:

…oh no no no, you guys have to live with the consequences of your foolishness until the next Republican president gets to the White House.

…shoulda told those liberal Connecticut asswipes to go pound sand.  And in a not-entirely-unrelated item:

…because of course they do.

…I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just punch this demented bitch in the face.

…good thing my kids are grown, because if anyone called the cops on me for that, I’d tell them and the cops to MYOFB, or get somewhat more than a “smack” from me.  Fucking busybodies.

…ah jeez. another “mental health” in a headline.  At this rate, I’m going to have to start ordering gin deliveries by the case.

…man, he must have fucked up badly.

…until los federales start harassing your peaceful protest;  then shut ’em off and let them die.

From the Department of Total Suckage:

…one of the best rock vocalists of all time.

Oh look:  the Greens are coming back!

…let’s not forget all those mid-19th century SUV stagecoaches.  And right on cue:

…get lost, Fuckface.

And in the Heart Of Stone Department:

…cue tiny violins.  And:

…I’m sorry, but I can’t stop laughing at this one — a blind guy wandering around a car park?  As Larry the Cable Guy says, “That’s some funny shit right there”.  And imagine if the second unfortunate soul had senile dementia?  But in the meantime:

And now is time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the proof:

…because if Paris is doing it, it’s the new trend.

Try to contain yer excitement.  Because coming to a WalMart near you:

Today’s Roundup is brought to you by:

…and puke-worthy it is, too:

…OF COURSE he did.

…entitled:  “How My Mommy And Daddy Killed A Very Bad Man In A Faraway Country.”

…yes, yes you are, Don.

…key word:  Louisiana.

…as their Ceaușescu Moment draws ever nearer.

…I am curiously conflicted about this story.

…“mental health” in the headline — oy, here we go with another gin shot.

…[opens a new bottle of gin]

…200 insurance brokers in mass suicide “event”.

…sounds like my apartment maintenance people.

…what about all those poor displaced city drivers?  Does anyone care about them?

From the annals of COVIDIOCY:

…as long as there’s a ball gag underneath the mask, I’m cool with it.  And:

…for a show that nobody’s going to watch on TV anyway.  And when you see who the “presenters” are, you’re going to want to insist on masks for them, too.

As for INSIGNIFICA:

     

…LOL he’d have to marry some trollop American actress first, so he could get a residence visa.  But on a more serious note:  what have we done to piss the Brits off so badly?

…probably should quit going to those kinds of parties, darlin’.

I know;  y’all want to know who this Emily Atack is and why someone would want to send her dick pics, right?

 

Now you know.

Today’s News Roundup is brought to you by:

…fuck off, Geraldo you liberal asswipe.

…and a single pic should suffice:

…you mean “misinformation” such as that Michael Mann’s “hockey stick” climate graph is a pack of lies?  Or that not one climate prediction has so far been accurate?

…as once again, the market establishes the actual value of certain jobs.

…damn, I had no idea that there was a “militant atheist” department.

…key word:  Tennessee.

…show of hands from those of you whose trigger fingers began to itch when reading this headline… all of you, huh?  Thought so.

…no different from a vegan restaurant, really.

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

 

…so here we go:

The above brought to you by:

….wait:  not that Coke?  My bad.