Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“I sometimes hear Brits say, ‘It’s gone pear-shaped’ when a situation has taken a turn for the worse.  What does that expression mean, exactly?”

–Puzzled Yank

Dear Puzzled:

Hell if I know.  Most of the time, Brits spout some meaningless gobbledegook at you and when you look at them quizzically, they act like you’re the stupid one — when in fact they’re just fucking up the language that they themselves are supposed to have invented. 

But to answer your question as best I can:  I think that “pear-shaped” has the opposite meaning of what you’re thinking.  Here’s my idea of pear-shaped: 

…and in no way, shape or form can this be regarded as A Bad Thing.  Hope this helps.

— Dr. Kim

News Roundup

Bad News

This Roundup is sponsored by:

And into the news we slide:


...so you get a guy who has been clinically diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome onto your live TV show, and are shocked — shocked! — when he says “rim”.  Which, by the way, is actually a harmless word in the context in which he used it.


...just wait till the conscripts get there;  it’s going to get worse.


...resist it.  Fix the fucking economy first.


...if it were only vapors and couches, all would be well.  But the dickless Karens wanna get the guy fired.


...that many?


...I got nothing.


...and Texans explain to Sec. Buttplug why he should just fuck off.


...thank you Sir, may I have another?

And on a similar topic:


...man jumps into snake pit, complains when he gets bitten.


…Mr. Scorpion, meet Mr. Frog.


...whatever he says, it had better be good considering all the fine poontang I’ve given him and all the life decisions I’ve entrusted him with over the years.

From the annals of INSIGNIFICA:

 


…I’ll bet money that she hasn’t tasted it in years, if ever.


…I bet quite a few men would be comfortable inside her skin, too.  Fifty-seven?  Have mercy…

…and some others, because why not?

I’m betting Shania doesn’t need any Olly…

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Time to face the outside world again…

Ugh.  Nemmind, we gots funneeez.

And speaking of one-night stands, here are a few suggestions:

Get outta here, and face the day like men.  And that goes for my Lady Readers as well.

News Roundup

Bad News

Today’s Roundup is sponsored (courtesy of a Reader) by the folks at:

So in that excellent school spirit, we see the following:


…next up:  dildos for gradeschoolers.  You heard it here first.


...amazingly, not in Scarsdale NY, but Pakistan.

In other news:


…eh, tell the old bitch to fuck off and MYOB.  She’ll be gone by December, anyway.

 
…and in a related item:


…so now most of the country is bizarro, according to President Braindead.


…gettin’ scary out there, folks.  Time To Carry (as if we need reminding).

From the International News Desk:


…


…for Princess Sourpuss, that’s hardly a new look.


…key words:  “alcohol”, “of no fixed abode”, and “Liverpool”.  I’m amazed that she was even arrested, given the circumstances.

And speaking of Matters Sexual:


…meh;  his dick, his choice of recipients.  As it should be.


…don’t all rush there at the same time, or you’ll crash the page.

And from the INSIGNIFICA Files:

   


…aaahhhh, I still can’t get used to RollerGirl being over 50:

 

At any age, Bubba.

And on that deep throat thought, we end the news.

Noooooooo

Media Assholes

In a shocking development:

Fox News announced Wednesday that Trace Gallagher will be the new anchor of Fox News @ Night, replacing Shannon Bream, who now hosts Fox News Sunday.

Now I have nothing against Gallagher, whom I recall as a decent enough sort, back when I used to watch cable news shows, and Fox in particular.  But let’s just consider what’s happening here:

I mean… seriously?

Shannon is one of the foxiest [sic]  anchors on TV, and to relegate her to a Sunday-only position is not A Good Thing.  (I’m thinking of the welfare of Fox News regular viewers, here.)