Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Okay, That’s A Little Much

Funny Stuff

I am never envious of people who win the lottery, but this may force me to change that:

A woman has won £184million on her first ever EuroMillion lottery ticket after buying it “on a hunch”.

Even though it’s the first time she’s ever done it and won a tax-free $220 million payout thereby, while I have been buying lottery tickets since the dawn of time with nary a sniff of a win, that’s not the reason to hate her.  This, however:

The young woman – who wanted to remain anonymous – was presented with the prize at her home in Tahiti.

Seriously?  Tahiti?

News Roundup

Bad News, Third World

With commentary so pungent, your nose will burn worse than Madonna’s hoo-hah.


…in case they die before they can be killed?


…and a quick glance at the student orgs involved will tell you all you need to know.


…said snow being the “thing of the past” as prophesied by some asshole or other.


…executive summary being: 
1) keep drinking; 
2) strongly think about vaxxing if you haven’t; 
3) Boris Johnson is a dickhead.


…either somebody is lying, or else just stopped lying.


…so, not a red cent in their red kettles then.  Hope it was worth it.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:


…stop that giggling, it’s a tragic — hahahahahahah.


…being Clarkson, his first ad line was rejected:  “If you’re an alcoholic, don’t fight it, feed it”, and was replaced by “It’s really fucking good”


…and good for them, say I.  Not all restaurants need be “family-friendly”, and I wish there were more of them.


…and just like that, the entire career of actor Peter Sellers vanished.

Now, INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and speaking of pointless Brit TV shows, here’s someone from the celebrity dancing thing, the wonderfully-named Nadia Bychkova:

I know:  small boobs, long legs.  She’s a professional dancer, FFS.

News Roundup

Bad News

Even worse than usual, these news snippets.


…gosh, and to think that only 18 months ago the U.S. was totally energy-independent.  What could have happened since then?

And in related news:


…given the serious competition from Kamala, AOC, Tlaib, Schumer, etc., it’s more like a necklace of albatrosses.


…because he wrote that racist “Declaration” thing, no doubt.  Oh. wait…
Daneek Miller (D-Queens) said he wanted the statue gone because it doesn’t represent contemporary values.
…and NOW you can start oiling the ropes.


…some?  Res ipse loquitur.


…yeah, we’ll get right onto that.  And on the same topic:


…gosh, why ever would that be?  Oh, wait:


…that’s why.


…you lost, get over it, STFU and enjoy the fruits of Western civilization.


…maybe not in your house, fuckwit, but everywhere else in Real America…


…and we’re going to do just the same here.  Viva Chile!  Let’s Go Brandon!


…it started going downhill when to save money, UK doctors were encouraged to “consult horoscopes” instead of using actual medicine.


…once more, with feeling:  Rope.  Tree.  District Attorney.  (Some assembly required.)


…and your point?


…ummm because he is?


…I would have thought you could just use fish oil instead of cologne, but what do I know?

And for INSIGNIFICA:

   

…which makes the rather surprising implication that only Black people loot.

And:


…it also being a crime for Black people to call each other “dumb-ass nigger”, and London’s Cockneys may not refer to people from Newcastle as “fucking Geordies”.

Here are a sample few of the aforementioned Geordies.

Donna Air

Jill Halfpenny

Shivaani Ghai

Andrea Riseborough

Cheryl Cole

Of course, they don’t all look like that, but I wanted to spare you the projectile vomiting.

No?  Okay, then… say hello to the Geordie Shore girls.

Ah, Texas

Anti-Gun Nannies, Marketing / Advertising, The Gun Thing

Here’s one guaranteed to make the GFW Brigade have fits:

The owner of a Texas gun store and shooting range is holding a “not guilty sale” after Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted of all charges last Friday.

The Saddle River Range in Conroe sent a text message to customers about the “Pre-Black Friday clearance sale” which started Saturday and will last through Thanksgiving.

My favorite part?

“We would like to clear up some confusion, the post states. “We are celebrating the life that Kyle Rittenhouse now gets to live because he was able to defend himself without being penalized for it. This is a big win for the Second Amendment and cause for celebration. For those of you who think we are celebrating “the death of innocent people”, we apologize that you didn’t take the time to gather and evaluate the actual facts from the case.”

Brilliant.  And thankee Reader Mike S who sent it to me.