So chug down that morning tipple, and let’s get on with it.
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...y’all want us just to kill him here, or do you want him back so you can have the pleasure? (offer not valid in states without the death penalty)
...it’s actually all a tragic mistake caused by a language problem. When he was told “Go get some from Five Guys”…
Then on to International News:
...wake up, old son: Biden has never been your ally, unlike Trump. And speaking of whom:
...I’m not so sure that the Stupid Party needs advice from this guy:
...but let’s keep “Trump” and “blowout” handy for later.
Some news from the Daily Woker:
...now if only they could concentrate on making decent beer...
Some Crime News:
...who do they think they are: the Secret Service?
...ya think? The real question is: why?
In the Business World:
...what; did all those government subsidies run out?
In Travel News:
...well, perhaps if you allowed them to drink booze; but noooo, it offends your fucking stupid guidebook or whatever.
In Parish News:
...yeah, bet he was surprised at being arrested for impersonating an influential Epstein client.
From the Medical Files:
…
And in the perpetually link-free 
And as we look at properties in 
:
...I bet she does. She always has that “JBF” look about her...
...or that “just about to be” look:
And that’s the end of the nipples news.
