Stuff that makes me laugh
And so, to alleviate the headache:
…and a reminder:
To continue:
And while we’re there:
Speaking of assholes, let’s talk about libertarians:
And thence to winter’s road maintenance:
And to end with some decent alternatives to Monday gloom:
Now get on with yer week, will ya?
…that would break the Internet almost immediately they were opened:
Feel free to add the contestants who you think might break it quicker.
Your suggestions in Comments.
God-Emperor Trump’s Administration will, one hopes, cast a baleful eye upon that nest of Commie indoctrination known as the Department of Education, prior to shutting it down.
One hopes.
However, as these festering cockroach nests are almost impossible to eradicate completely (without the introduction of machine guns, anyway), there might be a way to cause wholesale resignations among the cockroaches themselves, by making their jobs impossible (for them).
Such as by implementing the following (drawn from any decent homeschooling curriculum):
Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to fill in the last two blanks.
…or rather, booze for thought:
(source: whatever, SOTI)
Like Snowball, we must just try harder.
Legs and lemonade on a hot day… how can that be bad? Now on to the news thing, which is:
…
...I guess that ISIS flag in the truck was just a coincidence, huh? Assholes.
...well, if you’re going to ban guns, they’ll just use trucks.
Oh, wait:
...well, so much for all those NY gun control laws, huh?
On the topic of gun control:
...thus dodging a bullet, so to speak.
Back to trucks, though:
...LOL and it only killed the would-be mass murderer.
And in Green Automotive News:
...the hits just keep on coming, don’t they?
News from The Little Red Book:
...oh wow, who could have predicted this consequence of wealth envy, property confiscation and higher tax rates?
Speaking of morons:
...yeah, good luck with that, shitforbrains.
...which makes one wonder: why would any law-abiding American want to visit Mexico?
From the Police Blotter:
...sadly, as this happened in Britishland, there will no doubt be prosecutions and imprisonment — unless, of course, the shop staff are of a Protected Species (i.e. Muslim).
And in the wonderful world of 
...I’m just curious whether the two barrels are side-by-side or over & under, so to speak. I think we should be told.
And the view from 
:
...I’ve had a soft (okay, hard) spot for this little totty ever since her Veronica Mars days, so why not?
And on that gauzy note, we end this news roundup.