Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Highlighting all the asinine, stupid and pointless news.  And on the non-Biden front:

RCOB Department:


…or, “Guy who tested Covid-negative before allowed to fly still has to be quarantined lest he infect his dying father.”  Kill them all, now.

And in other WuFlu news:


…okay, then.  CVS, here I come.


…torn between woke banks and income stream from sluts. Ouch.


…where would we be without Science?


…exchanging cabbage for cunnilingus, for the win.


…are they allowed to vote while handcuffed?  Asking for a friend.


…now there’s a minority group, especially in California.


…as Sweden enters the “Stupidest Nation On The Planet” competition with a bang.


…I had no idea that so many “progressives” were of Swedish origin.


…considering that ol’ Ron had access to willing and available poontang pretty much 24/7 for well over thirty years, you have to ask yourself why his accusers were anywhere near him, if not for sex. Sounds kinda bogus.

And now for Biden News:


…Biden:  hold my beer.


…which comes to just over 8,000 jobs added per month.  Trump’s pre-Covid stats were running at about 40,000 – 50,000 per month, by comparison.

and:
Vice President Harris cancels plans to campaign for California Gov. Newsom
…OMG is Newsom that fucked?

Some INSIGNIFICA:

   

Wales, again:


…so are all languages, actually, but hey.

And speaking of the Welsh, here’s Carol Vorderman:

 

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Mondays don’t matter if you’re a seal:

…unless there’s a killer whale in your immediate future;  but for the rest of us, we have to face the week with a smile, lest we become all shooty and stuff.  So:

And finally, a Reader’s nomination for the next (Republican) President’s Cabinet:

It could not possibly be any worse than the current one.

So, as always, a few Gratuitous Chick Pics to help you on your way.

Category:  Vocalists.

I’d offer a prize of a box of ammo to anyone could name them all, but y’all would just go and Guggle them, so forget it.

Happy Monday.

Policy Change

Writing

A few people have taken issue with the way I show my displeasure at officialdom and busybodies [some redundancy]  by using this cartoon:

“It’s too crass, Kim!” and “You have more class than that, Kim!”  are the common themes.

Far be it for me to upset my more conservative Readers, so in future I may be using this instead:


I trust that this change is to everyone’s satisfaction…

News Roundup

Bad News

The news, like Biden’s addled brain, is all over the place today.


…oh really?  Just wait till you try to pawn your vibrator when cash is tight, sweetie.


…I probably speak for quite a few people when I say, “No more.  Ever.”

And speaking of people we don’t want to see or hear from ever again:


…ah yes, hurricanes:  that deadly disease.


…yawn.


…and the word is “slew”, not the name of a noizee 70s Brit rock band.

This is the shocking moment an Orthodox Jewish man
is punched in the face by a passer-by in a ‘racist attack’
that left him unconscious – just hours after a child was
attacked nearby.
…let’s all play “guess the passer-by’s race”, shall we?


…and only the U.S. State Department was surprised by this news item.


…we’re just trying to keep them feeling at home, right?

And speaking of disgusting:


…not that I would want to be in the same zip code as any of them anyway.


…everyone knows you never go Full Jesus.


…and she looks about how you’d expect her to look.

Total Suckage Department:

     


…why did this headline make me giggle like a schoolgirl?

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

 

And yet another sign that the Apocalypse is nigh:


…non-alcoholic Guinness.  Jaysus wept.

Here’s Logan’s Run  star Jenny Agutter:

Here’s A Thought

Funny Stuff, Resistance

Apparently some washed-up bureaucrat wants to deport Trump supporters to Afghanistan:

Retired Air Force general and former CIA and NSA chief Michael Hayden endorsed sending “MAGA wearing unvaxxed to Afghanistan” on board empty cargo planes.

…which led to this excellent response:

Exactly.

Although I’d like to have a little blue-sky fun, here.  (Please note the “fun” word;  it’s important.)

The population of Afghanistan is about 35 million.  Why shouldn’t President Braindead suggest that instead of resettling a couple-three thousand Afghans in the U.S., we should effect a complete swap of populations:  all Afghans (the whole fucking lot) into the U.S.

Then settle all 60-70 million Trump supporters (and their personal fortunes) in the now totally-denuded country of  Afghanistan, who can set up a government according to First Constitutional principles.  Along with them would come the state/National  Guard units (and all their equipment, materiel and supply chain infrastructure) of all the states which Trump carried in 2020, to serve as the military force of the new nation of Calvinia (after Coolidge, the model for all our Presidents to follow). 

Within a year, the new nation will have ski resorts, hotel chains, casinos and flourishing agricultural and tech industries that would be right up with the best of them.  Also, proper roads, apartment complexes, hospitals and churches.

Now if you look at a map of the blighted place:

…you’ll see a few problems, e.g. that that Calvinia is surrounded by a whole bunch of -stans (and Iran onto the bargain), but we could serve notice on all of them that we’re there to stay, and nuke places like Teheran or the Turkmenistan oilfields if they start playing games, just to keep them in line.

Don’t ask me whether I’d rather live next door to some Portland Pantifas than some Muslim assholes, because I haven’t made up my mind yet.  Both are equally foul, to be frank.

The best part of all of this, though, would be watching from a distance as the former United States implodes into a patchwork of balkanized, impoverished settlements as they attempt to assimilate all 35 million rabid Afghan Muslims.

Or — and this may be a better idea — we could just forcibly deport the 35 million-odd diehard socialists in this country to Afghanistan, and let them try to turn it into the utopia of diversity and wokeism that they desire.

Either way, we’d be rid of them, and they of us, so it’s a win-win deal.