Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Unsurprising

Gummint, Health

In the news:

SPRINGFIELD—All area stores have completely sold out if their supply of 9mm vaccine passports amid a nation-wide shortage.
The shortage began last year, well before rumors started circulating that President Joe Biden was going to require vaccine passports for certain activities.
Many people looking to tell the president and his minions, “I got your vaccine passport right here, Karen,” are having trouble finding them.
“It’s just a combination of things — you got millions of new vaccine passport owners buying them right when COVID hit,” said Billy Fallon, the owner of Firing Line, an indoor firing range and vaccine passport shop in Westland. “Companies shut down because of COVID, and when they started back up, they were only at a quarter-staff. And the orders kept coming in.”
Now with a likely federal mandate, the shortage could reach unprecedented levels.
“We’re short on everything but just cannot keep the 9mm or the .40 caliber vaccine passports on the shelf,” Fallon said.

Serves them right for just going with untried, untested 9mm/.40 S&W vaccine passports.  I (and many like me) prefer to go with the tried-and-tested .45 ACP and .357 Magnum vaccine passports, which deliver just the kind of results one would like them to have on the Gummint Karens.

News Roundup

Bad News

Our special FUCK THE COVID/GOVERNMENT feature.  First off:


…which is what we should have been doing all along.  Instead:


…good question, Tuck.


…so much for me visiting New Orleans over Labor Day, then.  And speaking of parties:


…you’re all thinking what I’m thinking, right?  500 fatal WuFlu fatalities in a week’s time?


…I know, NYFC.  Still…it could be worse, like in Australia.


…and speaking of terror:


…if you don’t get an instant RCOB when reading this, I don’t wanna talk to you no more.

And the Scots can’t be left behind:


…there’s no tyrant can compete with a bitter lesbian.

Anyway, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t yell at the fucking government about the WuFlu crap all the time, so here’s a public service announcement (ahem):

Okay, that’s enough WuFlu.  Let’s just look at some day-to-day government bastardy:


…Fatboi signs yet another unenforceable law.

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…brace yourself for another RCOB… and I don’t even like alpacas.


…one can only imagine…

And finally:


…either the Belarus gummint did it, or he had some dirt on the Clintons.

No Gratuitous Chick Pics today, I’m in a bad mood.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Here we go, off to work again:

And just because I have a backlog of sex jokes on my hard drive [sic], here we go:

Exclusive!!!!

Speaking of dentistry, take look at Carol Vorderman’s perfect teeth:

…also, the pearly whites of Kelly Brooks: 

And let’s not forget the dazzling smile of Christine McGuinness:

Finally, there’s Claudia Winkleman, looking a little chilly, but happy all the same:

Good luck with the week.

News Roundup

Bad News

All the news that makes you want to kill something, or somebody.


…except for the guy below:


…stroking after stroking, in other words.


…I don’t want to sound unsympathetic, but it serves him right.  A pensioner’s job is to putter around the workshop or garden, grumble with his buddies at the diner or shooting range, and play with his grandchildren — not that cycling over mountains bullshit.


…Giggsy is a well-known Grade A deluxe asshole, but I still wanna hear his side of the story — because there have been times in my life, I swear…


…like Socialists, who keep doing the same dumb shit for generations even though it always fails.


…as long as “very high walls” are included in the architects’ plans.  (To guard against all those White supremacist groups in D.C., of course.)


…okay, quit that derisive laughter, willya?


…cool.  Enjoy the coming apocalypse, y’all.


…fake news, never happened — because private ownership of handguns is illegal in Britishland.


…some guy pulls a Mungo and it’s all about the protest violence.


…LOL.  The irony?  This supposedly happened in snooty University Park and Highland Park (a.k.a. “Park Cities”), which have voted reliably Democrat since, well, forever.

Time for another dump of pics that are just taking up space on my hard drive [sic].  This time it’s someone named Nicola McLean:

So much for the news.