Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Confetti blown in the wind
Nobody cares
Journalists howl at things.
— Haiku, Kim du Toit

So today we lead off with INSIGNIFICA:

     
…and the A in Arquette stands for Asswipe.

Now onto the the (ahem) “hard” news…


…but that means they’ll just hate us up to 11 now !


…no doubt celebrating the news of America’s withdrawal, in their traditional manner.


…and in all those years, she never once thought of, say, leaving his freako ass and going home to Momma.


…not to be unkind, but the only way this chick could “sizzle” is if you dropped her onto the griddle at Waffle House.


…it’s not crazy:  you are, you fat trailerpark sow.


…we’re not “allowing” it, as none of the poxy car manufacturers has ever actually asked our permission.


…I didn’t think I could like these three guys any more than I already do, but this is epic.


…and when Mr. Sex Pistol himself calls you a moron…


…don’t too excited, folks.  This has as much chance of getting past President Braindead’s veto pen as Ted Nugent has of getting a handjob from Oprah Winfrey.  In Madison Square Garden.  On stage.


…see the item above.


…serves ’em right for being rude.


…oh.  My bad.


…

Silly fools even draw the swastika ass-about-face.

And finally, from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious:

The REAL news:  Carol Vorderman has freckled boobs.

Train Smash Opportunities

Train Smash Women

As Britons finally begin to slip the surly bonds of lockdown and once again venture into the pleasures of public intoxication, I ask myself:  can Train Smashdom once again rear its wonderful… errr, head?

Apparently so.  And I would be remiss if I didn’t show at least a few of them.

What I like almost as much is that Stout Bulldogs were not going to let a little thing like icy temperatures or freezing rain prevent them from taking the grandchildren out for some fish ‘n chips:

Bravo, all of you.  Sadly, the restrictions were eased too late for us to enjoy the Train Smash Grand Prix — a.k.a. the Grand National at Aintree:

…but there’s always next year.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

What day is it?  I declare this Monday to known as “All About Women Day”.  But as befits Monday, it’s not going to be about ones we love, right Hillary?

I know, I know:
Wait a second…

So let’s continue:

And a warning that things are not always what they seem:

But to make up for that Hillary pic, and before someone does something drastic, here are a few of those “bra-less” pics that didn’t make the cut last week:

Have a nice week, y’all.

News Roundup

Bad News

With news so dire, you’re going to wanna enroll in the Rifle, Hipflask & Church Steeple Club©.


…well, duh, O Commie Dwarf:  more “workers’ rights” = “less money to fund space exploration”.


…these ads are created by city trendies who have no teenage girls.


…name just ONE.


…and when you read the criteria for membership, you’ll be thankful that you don’t qualify.


…it will stop when you stop worrying and start ignoring.


…oh man, would I love to introduce this snowflake to some real Gestapo agents, or a couple apartheid-era South African cops of my acquaintance.


…the word you are looking for is “betrayed”, not “outed”.  Punishable by:


…and if I called for a volunteer to push this asshole out of the chopper, I’d be killed in the stampede.


…you have to ask yourself who would be surprised by this news item.


…from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious.


…and the very next day after that happens, someone’s going to shoot you in the face.  Enjoy the revolution.


…and she looks pretty much as you suspect she would.  Ordinarily I would tell her boyfriend to find another woman, but from the looks of him, she’s probably as good as he’ll ever get. — Dr. Kim

And now, to cheer you all up after all the bad news:

One for my Readers Over There:

Let’s hear it for the Ozzies:

For my Canucki-Readers:

Finally, for the Seffricans:

Requests from other nations’ Readers will be taken under consideration.