Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Some bad news, some good news, all treated with scorn, skepticism and a large helping of sarcasm.


…this is actually excellent news.  The Tranny Formerly Known As Bruce is very conservative, politically speaking, and I can’t wait for the Democrats to go through this:


… off the top of my head:  avoid looking at pics of Nancy Pelosi, watching President Braindead’s press conferences, and seeing a Gay Pride parade, to name but three.


…they panic, I see it as ethnic Darwinism.  And that includes the morons who think that vaccines are a Gummint plot to alter their DNA / install a tracking system / [insert loony reason of choice here]


…‘cos they’re just teeny little girls.  Who should be executed with just teeny little bullets.


…never having regretted a one-night stand, I’m untouched by this.  And in similar vein:


…my suggestion (says Dr. Kim) :  hook up with this couple.  That would teach her.


…not that either of these posturing pustules has ever flown on Southwest, of course;  but just to be safe, they should be put on Southwest’s private no-fly list.


…considering that United is already on my “don’t fly with them under any circumstances” list, I don’t have to worry about crashing because of Token Pilot Shawanda  (formerly Jamal) Washington’s screwup.


…as if 2021 wasn’t going to be bad enough.


…when you consider the lifetime’s teasing he’s had to endure because of his name, it’s amazing that this only happened when he was 38.  Anyway, he’s now “the late” so we need say no more about him.

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA (no links because ugh):

    * 

Finally, some outstanding views news , seeing as it’s Masters Week:


…putting the SCHWING!  back into golf:

   
   

Not Wanted

Funny Stuff

Inspired by this piece in the DM, I list things that seem insubstantial or unimportant, but under the reign of World-Emperor Kim (see above) would be banned and destroyed whenever seen in public:

  • Oddly- flavored booze, e.g. chocolate vodka and raspberry-flavored beer.  Just thinking about them makes my mouth go lemon-shaped and my stomach go into spasm.
  • Light (“lite”) beer.  The only way I’d agree to letting this shit stay around was if it were sold for ten cents a gallon.  Then everyone who drank it would get horribly drunk and die in car crashes, thus solving two problems.
  • Crocs, when worn outside the garden.  They work surprisingly well as gardening shoes, but there are limits.
  • Ditto Uggs:  excellent slippers, should not be seen in public.
  • Chewing gum.  Disgusting stuff, especially when chewed with an open mouth.
  • Nose rings.  Absolutely nobody’s appearance is enhanced by this foul facial appurtenance.
  • Car decals.  Every last one of them, no exceptions, and  especially the smug mini-billboards like “Proud Parent Of An Honor Student”.  Don’t even get me started on the “go faster” stripes, or flames.
  • “Lifted” trucks on public roads.

Note that I’ve left off the large stuff like Modernist architecture, Glocks and music produced by Simon Cowell.  They are a constant irritation to me and have often been featured on these pages, so I’m not going to belabor the point.

Other than “carpeted bathrooms”, I found most of the things in the DM  list rather inoffensive, albeit some in bad taste.  And they can take my Nicky Cage sequin pillow from my cold dead hands.

Feel free to add your favorite hates to the list.  (Just stuff, no people — we all know who you’d want to see gone, or be first on the noose.)

Membership

Funny Stuff, The Gun Thing

I’m all in favor of gun rights groups — the more, the merrier, because it stops the existing ones from getting too comfortable and cosy with the politicians, by giving us gunnies more options.  And new ones have been starting up all over the place in recent years.

So, Gentle Readers:  should I join this group?  I certainly qualify.

To mark the occasion, I’d probably get one of these:

(link embedded in the pic)

News Roundup

Bad News

…and then there’s this kind of news:


…which is when the Border Patrol should have started shooting, “to protect the senators’ lives”.


…can’t see why she’s upset; it saves her having to move twice, when President Braindead is tossed out of the WH.


…which in the case of classical music, is clearly true.

And still on the theme of “Campus Foolishness”:


…which is fine — just as long as the total cost of reparations is added to their student loans.


…somebody please tell me this is an April Fool’s Day joke.


…and if you thought the Eyeties were being overrun by Arab and African refugees before…


…cue sad violin music:


…no doubt just the latest in a whole series of kitchen screwups which finally caused him to snap.


…hamster, meet Mr. Garbage Disposal.


…just the latest in our “Extreme Self-Delusion” series.

Now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

    

And finally:


Okay, I admit that this particular pic wasn’t in the actual photo shoot, but whatever.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Today, it’s our special Vegetarian Edition:

 

And if get excited by these vegetables, you need help:

 

That’s enough of that filth.  Time for something more wholesome:

And finally, a fruitarian I could get behind, so to speak:

Bonus prize for guessing the band’s name… no?  Here they are.