Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Like a post-Christmas Day hangover, here we go again with the “news”.


…were the Neolithic tribes Black?  I think we should be told.


…so they’re saying that only White people can do math ?  Isn’t that rayciss?

But just to the south:


…and about damn time too, say I.


…the only way this headline could have been any worse is if it had been with a puppy.

Then again:


…and to think they outlawed public flogging.

Some better news:


…let’s hope that a host of others (e.g. rappers) follow his lead, and make it sooner.

 
…alas, it’s satire — but then again, so is ex-Senator Maojacket.


…no doubt the Justice Department will want to prosecute the wall’s builder.


…as long as there wasn’t an iPhone among them…

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

     

And right on time, here’s Kelly to make us feel all warm and snuggly for the season:

If you have the week off, well done.  If your evil bloodsucking scumbagbastard of a boss is making you go to work this week… I’m so sorry.

The Nite before Hannukah

Entertainment

(With apologies to my Tribe Readers)

Twas the night before Chanukah, boichiks and maidels
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels
The menorah was set by the chimney alight
In the kitchen, the Bubbie was hopping a bite
Salami, Pastrami, a glaisele tay
And zoyere pickles mit bagels– Oy vay!

Gezint and geschmock the kinderlach felt
While dreaming of taiglach and Chanukah gelt
The alarm clock was sitting, a kloppin’ and tickin’
And Bubbie was carving a shtickele chicken
A tummel arose, like the wildest k’duchas
Santa had fallen right on his tuchas!

I put on my slippers, ains, tzvay, drei
While Bubbie was eating herring on rye
I grabbed for my bathrobe and buttoned my gottkes
And Bubbie was just devouring the latkes
To the window I ran, and to my surprise
A little red yarmulka greeted my eyes.

When he got to the door and saw the menorah
“Yiddishe kinder,” he cried, “Kenahorah!”
I thought I was in a Goyishe hoise!
As long as I’m here, I’ll leave a few toys.”
“Come into the kitchen, I’ll get you a dish
Mit a gupel, a leffel, and a shtickele fish.”

With smacks of delight he started his fressen
Chopped liver, knaidlach, and kreplach gegessen
Along with his meal he had a few schnapps
When it came to eating, this boy sure was tops
He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt
But they were so hot he yelled out “Gevalt!”

He loosened his hoysen and ran from the tish
“Your koshereh meals are simply delish!”
As he went through the door he said “See y’all later
I’ll be back next Pesach in time for the seder!”
So, hutzmir and zeitzmir and “Bleibtz mir gezint”
he called out cheerily into the wind.

More rapid than eagles, his prancers they came
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name
“Come, Izzie, now Moishe, now Yossel and Sammy!
On Oyving, and Maxie, and Hymie and Manny!”
He gave a geshrai, as he drove out of sight
“A gut yontiff to all, and to all a good night!”

Sorry it’s late, but Mervyn only got round to sending it me me last light.

News Roundup

Bad News

If you thought last week’s roundup was bad…


…clearly, J&J’s bribe wasn’t large enough.


…and if he’d been executed for the first murders, she’d still be alive today.

…what’s to wonder?

Also via Insty:


…rough guess: 


…it would be worth freeing the loathsome toad, just to see all the #MeToo womyns’ hair spontaneously ignite.

Filed under “SNEAKY FOREIGNERS”:


…best con trick ever.


…no mention, of course of the number of men killed daily.


…sounds eerily like Gretchen Whitmer’s plan for Christmas in Michigan.


…having seen Scottish teens in action, the likely result was “Yes: 100%” — for both sexes.

And two reports from the Woke Bullshit Department:


…that’s called a “Biden”.  And it happened sixteen years ago.


…proving that OMG not even virtual reality is safe from #ToxicMasculinity.

And from the annals [sic]  of Gen Z / Millennial Deep Thoughts:


…I dunno;  probably something to with “rent”, “groceries”, “gasoline” and “electricity” … not to mention “ammunition” for when it really does end.

And now is time for the INSIGNIFICA:

     

And one with a link:


…in a “lemons/lemonade” scenario, I see a promising and lucrative OnlyFans career in her future.  Cue the outrage in 3…2…1…

Some more “normal” youngins for Christmas:

Eva Habermann

Sophia Vergara

Elizabeth Montgomery

Zooey Deschanel

Some chick sent to me by Reader Old Texan

Hey, at my age, they’re all youngins.