Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Here we go again:


…


…not to mention all that “undocumented shopping” going on.


…doing the job that the Feddle Gummint won’t, the motherfuckers.


…


…more like a by-product of American feminism, but whatever.


…you mean, like when Trump was President?


…and you’re absolutely not a fucking fascist, you rancid old bitch.


…to the surprise of absolutely nobody.


…you mean, Future POTUS DeSantis.

From the Dept. Of Suckage:


…sad, but understandable.  Thanks for all the hard work, guys.

MORE FALLOUT FROM THE “JON GRUDEN EMAIL SCANDAL”
…and if I gave a shit about the NFL or what it was doing, this would be upsetting.

And now, some more INSIGNIFICA:

   

And speaking of things being good enough to eat:

Call me a far right-wing extremist, then… and by the way, Bone Daddy’s “burnt ends” are addictive.

Imaginary Conversations

Friends and Family

On my last trip up to Boomershoot, it was just me and the Son&Heir (aged about 16) in the old F-150 FX4 making the three-day-up, three-day-down journey.

On the way up, we drove along Idaho Rte 55:

…whereupon I stated idly:  “I wouldn’t mind retiring to a little cabin up there against the foothills”, to which the Son&Heir replied, “No, you can’t.”

“Why not?”
“Because I’ll still be living in Texas, and I’ll be damned if I have to fly back up here every time I get a call from the sheriff.”
“What do you mean, call from the sheriff?”

And the fruit of my loins (and heir to my gun safes and their contents) proceeded to have the rest of this conversation all by himself, complete with the appropriate accents.

“Jack?  Sheriff Johnson here, up in Valley County.”
“Oh God, what’s he done now?”
“He’s shooting at trucks driving along the main road again.”
“Didn’t we take all his rifles away from him the last time?”
“Yeah, except his .22s.  And he’s using them now.”
“Why this time?”
“He says they make too much noise and disturb his peace.”
“But he’s as deaf as a rock.”
“Can you come up and talk to him?  Next time I’ll have to arrest him, and you know what happened the last time we tried to do that.”
“Is the deputy okay?”
“Well, he doesn’t have to use that walking stick anymore.”

“Dad, you have to stop shooting at trucks from the porch.”
“Why?  I gotta keep my eye in.”
“Well, for one thing, it’s against the law.”
“It’s a stupid fucking law.  Trucks are noisy;  isn’t there a law against making a public racket?”
“Dad, we talked about this last time.”
“And it’s only a little .22 bullet, anyway.  At that range, you’d hardly feel it even if it hit you, and anyway, I’m only aiming at the trailers, not the drivers.”

“Yeah,” the Son&Heir concluded, turning to me, “just tell me that all this could never happen.”

I had no answer.

Quote Of The Day

Freaks & Loonies, QOTD

Regarding my post about the reinstatement of Comic Con and the pics of costumed chippies, Reader WVHillbilly commented:

“Usually you have women who are six sizes too large to wear a skintight costume parading around like overstuffed sausages..”

You mean like these?

Point taken.  However, there are some who use their curves to good advantage:

Nothing too wrong with that.

News Roundup

Bad News

News, like Nancy Pelosi’s drink problem, barely worth commentary.


…once again the really interesting thing about this is that over one third of the people think that President Braindead is doing an okay job.


…dog bites man news:  socialists have never known how an economy works.


…oh yes it can.  Forever.


…and in solidarity, I bought a box of Frosted Flakes for the first time in nearly twenty-five years.


…when as any fule kno, the correct acronym is LGBTOSTFU.


…I think I’d need a thousand-odd words to write that article, myself.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:


…and stop that laughing.

Almost as good, from the Dept. Of Irony:


…imagine walking in Washington D.C.  What idiots.


…anyone who’s ever worked in retail will understand this one.


…anyone who has ever tried to find parking in an English village will know exactly how this came about.


…not surprising, as SNL hasn’t been funny since the 1990s.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

    

…and:

Nice that we’re all here to bear witness to the Fall…