Stuff that makes me laugh
Aaaaargh…
I hate being woken up by the alarm clock on Monday mornings.
So to give me time to pick up all the pieces off the floor, a little of Teh Funny:
Sounds okay. And on that topic, a few women who may or may not be intoxicated:
Right… time for that second gin. It’s Monday, remember?
When you wake up with a crippling hangover, and discover the consequences of the previous night’s carousing. Ranked in order of ascending horror:
Your suggestions (may be personal or hypothetical) in Comments.
Your suggestions in Comments.
Looks like this is a week for alternatives, but this one is a little less… contentious, shall we say, than the one from yesterday.
While looking at this article about Harry Redknapp’s little beach cottage, one of the pics got me thinking. While I think the house in general is awful (like Alyssa Milano: quite lovely from the outside; inside, not so much), this room is excellent:
Now I have little use for a wine cellar, being that I don’t drink a lot of wine and have no interest in collecting it either. But a temperature/humidity-controlled room, with very limited access… can we all say “Gun Room“, children?
If I ever same into something like this (assuming it was in the Land Of The Free and not Hoplophobic Britannia), I know that one of the first things I’d do is turn to the interior designer and say, “Lose all those faggy shelves and stuff, and put in some glassed gun display cases, with room for a couple-three safes on the side.” All that’s left is to have a decent, robust table somewhere with several clamps for gun cleaning and -smithing, and there ya go.
The same is true of houses that have projection rooms — in-home cinemas, as it were — which I think are a total waste of space. Here’s one, from some mega-mansion on the market here in Plano:
Once again, a room with no windows, a single door access… who the hell needs stupid Disney movies that much. when you could have a primo gun room?
I know, I’m so hopelessly out of touch.
Welcome to a new feature on this here blog, which will look at why strange things happen (or don’t happen) in various categories. Today:
3 Inexplicable Things About Figure Skating
1. Even though Jayne Torvill was kinda plain-looking and had a dorky hairstyle, most men would still have bonked her if given the chance.
2. Gay men participate in the activity.
3. This move hasn’t ever resulted in any sexual harassment cases:
(As my friend Patterson once put it: “Grab her box and you’re a piggish bastard. Strap on some skates first and all of a sudden it’s ART.”)
More inexplicable things to follow, as I see them.
Feel free to leave your own contributions in Comments, but restrict them to figure skating. Violations will be deleted.
Here We Go Again, with acerbic commentary that will make your lips scrunch up like Nancy Pelosi eating a lemon.
…turned right instead of left at Damascus, and there he was.
…I think this is the first SC judge I’ve may actually have fallen in love with.
…ummm no, actual structural racism was in one of your nation’s former colonies, Ginger — that being South Africa — and it was called apartheid. Everything else is just a pale shadow.
…the only news in this is that the dad was arrested. Apparently the Australian rozzers want to keep all the paedo-punching for themselves.
…and note how the headline puts “de-arrest” in quotes, but not around “woman”. And speaking of weirdos:
…yup. Hoofbeats are definitely getting louder.
…a Democrat lying about gun control? In other news, polar bears eat seals, sun rises in east, etc.
…“pure evil”? I can think of better examples, quite frankly. And if “rape” is defined as “sexual intercourse without consent”, how can this be called rape? Asking for a friend.
…not reported: whether any pins were involved. (Yeah, he was a sperm donor.)
…I think I may have responded “Oh God, yes” to this one.
And finally:
Mrs. Crouch shows off her nipples. Not that this is news, or anything, but it was a slow weekend.