5 Worst RealDoll Models Ever

Ranked in order, from “of very limited appeal” to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding“.  First, for men (all with the vocal function enabled):

  • the “Andrea Dworkin” (retro model)
  • the “Joy Behar”
  • the “Gender Studies Professor”
  • the “Hillary Clinton”
  • the “Taylor Swift”

And for the ladies:

  • the “Brad Pitt” sorry I meant   “Dog The Bounty Hunter”
  • the “Jack Whitehall”
  • the “Jerrold Nadler”
  • the “Harvey Weinstein”
  • the “Piers Morgan”

News Roundup

Today we feature the “All Sex, All The Time“-type roundup, with commentary shorter than Jerrold Nadler’s dick.  [sorry]


ummm Wayne, dude:  there’s this thing called a “vasectomy”


and given that he’s not rich, I think the newspaper owes us a tasteful pic of his erect phallus, so we can see just what this guy’s appeal is.


and you were slut-shamed because you were a choirgirl, right?


“sparent”?  What’s that, Lassie?  Hoofbeats?


given that her pool of likely suitors will come entirely from fanbois inside NASCAR Nation, I’d say her prospects are even slimmer than she thinks.


and when you’ve lost gayboi Graham Norton


not to mention a distinct shortage of willing penises.


if she’s going to get all her lovers’ faces tattooed there, she’s going to need ElastaGirl arms.


the main question being:  did we really need to know this about the late?

And finally:


hate to break it to you darlin’, but nobody cares why.  Here’s the proof:

Much better than Gwinnie’s bony ass.