Humor – Page 227 – Splendid Isolation

News Roundup

February 25, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

With commentary briefer than a thong bikini worn backwards:

…nope: add stupid meat-eating journalists, politicians and celebrities.

…frankly, I can’t see how it could get any worse than it is right now:

…and just like that, the Supremes became irrelevant.

…[insert “Satan” joke here].

…and yet, anyone who’s ever seen or heard dumpy ScotPM Nicola Sturgeon knows that the stereotype isn’t outdated.

…following Robert Townsend’s advice in “Up The Organization” (first pub. 1970).

…SC’s murder rate to plummet in 3…2…1...

…wherein 2021 tries to outdo 2020.

…1.) no it isn’t, and 2.) fuck you, Scott.

…and fuck you too, Fauci.

…Kim’s prediction: it will be the only novel on Amazon with more favorable reviews than actual buyers.

…okay, then let’s “repurpose” the building into a casino. Especially so when you read shit like this:

…here’s a message to the Stupid Party:

Or we could just nuke D.C. and be free of all this kind of shit:

…so there we go.

And finally, something worth looking at:

News Roundup (Out-Of-Date Version)

February 24, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News, Funny Stuff

Just in case you missed it earlier.

…good grief: is there anything statins can’t do? Finally, a drug I’ve been taking for years may actually be worth the money. Although next week we’ll find that statins probably cause hemorrhagic fever, or something.

…oooh, no wonder she’s been called a “wild child”, the feisty lil’ thang. I think I did all that, and more, before I turned 17 — unless, that is, she did all that before she was 14, in which case, I salute her.

…just your everyday over-achiever. Key word: Leeds.

…finally, some ACTUAL good news.

…uuuhhhh, sweetie, when you hang around with a guy who looks like this, I think you can expect at least some behavior that’s a little off the beaten path:

…given the cost of Woody The Wonder Drug, it would be cheaper just to buy a fresh bunch of flowers.

…you have to know how low the Beeb has sunk when the Chinks can call them out.

…yeah, if it’s total indifference you’re seeking from your partner in a sexual experience, stay at home.

…wherein we finally learn the Scandi spelling for “homeboy”. (HBC, as always, looks like a bag lady).

…not to be too cynical or anything, but wouldn’t his post-murder treatment of her body be somewhat irrelevant at this point? Anyway, look on the bright side: he could have called her a “dirty nigger”, in which case he’d now be in serious trouble.

…and I’m sure the UK’s NHS is just waiting to give him the free surgery he needs, just as soon as they’ve discharged the very last Chinkvirus patient, in 2045.