Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Gospel According To Clarkson

Eco-Crap, Funny Stuff

One of the best parts of Top Gear and its Grand Tour successor is to watch when one of the trio launches into a rant about something or other.  And this one from Jeremy Clarkson ranks right up there:

INCREDIBLY, my email inbox is still being filled every day by people ­wanting me to give money to help… ­Australia’s homeless koalas. That’s like asking for money to help save Joan of Arc’s dodo.
What are they thinking? They reckon I’m going to look at the world and all the terrible ­problems affecting it then think, “Right, the thing that’s most deserving of my spare cash is some lightly grilled marsupial in Wombawombaland”?
…
The fact is that many of those Australian fires were started by drunken misfits in vests who wanted to see their handiwork on the news.
While global warming was blamed for the way the blazes took hold, the real reason is because environmentalist law- makers wouldn’t allow the level-headed to create fire breaks.
It was, therefore, the eco-mentalists who burned the koalas, so it’s up to them to buy the Savlon.

Read the whole piece to get some reality-based thinking.

Inexplicable Part Deux

Men & Women

I saw that the CanuckiPM’s wife has been diagnosed with the dreaded Wuhan virus.  I didn’t even know the little drip was married, so I hastened to see the evidence:

Wait… what?  Shome mishtake, shurrly.

She’s quite hot, in that bland north-of-the-48th-parallel way, and probably could have had her choice of Canucki-males.  But no.  This near-hottie did this:

…with this?

(Bernard Weil/Toronto Star via Getty Images)

Good grief.

Then I learned that she’s since had three children, all allegedly fathered by him.

As I said, inexplicable…

Story Of The Day

Funny Stuff, QOTD

Courtesy of the Powerline folks comes this Ammo Grrrl story:

Long before the COVID-19 Panic, I had a dread fear of not being able to feed my loved ones. Once in San Francisco when our son was a baby, there was some sort of long-forgotten dairy panic and all the milk disappeared from the shelves of the grocery stores. Or at least the one I could walk to since we didn’t own a car.
One barefooted dirty hippie girl had just finished loading all twelve remaining gallons into her cart. I said, “Look, I have a six-month old. I breast-feed him, but I need the milk for me to make the milk. May I please have just one? You will still have eleven.” She refused. She said she didn’t even have kids and just planned to scalp it to other desperate people. I said, “Well, you haven’t paid for that yet, so if you are going to be a [several bad words], I will just take one then.”
And so I did. She screamed in outrage and, frankly, shock, but there were no cameras in stores yet, so what could she do? She briefly considered fighting for it, but thought better of it. I mean, what kind of scary lunatic takes stuff out of another woman’s cart? Without so much as a Swiss Army Knife? Better to cut your losses and move on.

Coffee, meet nostrils.  Best part is that because Hippie Chick hadn’t paid for the stuff yet, it wasn’t technically  hers — cameras or not — so anyone could have done that to her.

It’s funny how the hippies never seem to realize that without a power equalizer (e.g. a 1911), you’ll always be at the mercy of someone stronger than you are.

But I Thought Guns Were Eeeevil

Funny Stuff, The Gun Thing

I see with interest that inhabitants of Los Angeles, New York and other liberal shitholes have suddenly discovered the value of guns:

Americans are starting to panic-buy guns with sales rocketing across the country and shoppers lining up around the block outside hunting shops amid coronavirus fears.
California, New York and Washington – the states hardest hit by the deadly bug – all saw a massive surge in gun sales.
Some buyers sought to ‘protect their families’ from looters should food and supplies run out due to coronavirus panic.

Of course, there’s always some wiseguy ready to poke fun at their plight: